9. Diana #3
“Rodrigo… This man just… disappeared. He went from being there to taking off. I literally had to negotiate a lower alimony and child support payments—which he has yet to pay, by the way—to get him to spend more time with his daughters—something unheard of—and he hasn’t even lived up to that.
If it were up to him, he’d spend the least amount of time with his girls and pay no child support.
It’s like he got this taste of what life would be free attachments and would give anything for it.
I swear, sometimes it feels like if it weren’t because he’s scared of what his family or friends would say, he’d give up total responsibility over the girls. ”
“Like giving up parental rights?”
“I know that sounds crazy, but… Anyway, trust me when I tell you that you are nothing like him. There’s a difference between a man who steps up and takes ownership after making a questionable choice or mistake, and one who retreats and abandons his family.
” In an uncharacteristic move, I reach out and rub his back.
“I didn’t know you before, but you’re a good man, Michael. At least you are now.”
Michael blows out a deep breath and nods. “I hope to god you’re right. Or at least I hope I’m good enough that I can give Rachel the good, stable, happy life she deserves—the one I didn’t get as a kid. That’s what matters most to me right now.”
The urge to hug him is so strong I have to cross my arms in front of my chest, because I know what it’s like to feel like you aren’t good enough.
That you’re giving everything you can to try to be the best parent and still feel like it isn’t enough.
In a messed up way, it’s comforting to know someone’s going through the same thing.
Sure, our situations aren’t exactly the same, but the feeling of inadequacy is there for both of us.
Knowing I’m not alone in this is life changing.
“We ready to get back to the party?” I ask suddenly. When he nods with that heartbreaking smile of his, I do my best to ignore how it steals my breath. “Cool. How about we let Matt and Vinny handle the grill while we take a victory lap of sorts for all of our hard work and go into the ocean?”
Michael’s eyes widen, but he quickly recovers. He clears his throat before adjusting the cap on his head. “Um, now? In our bathing suits and stuff?”
I laugh, utterly confused by his reaction.
“Uh, yes, our bathing suits.” Am I hideous?
Unattractive to such a degree that seeing me in my bathing suit should be embarrassing?
I’ve never paid much attention to the way I look, possibly because I considered it a luxury in a way.
But all of a sudden, I feel self-conscious about my body.
Before I can help it, I look down, taking myself in.
Sure, I have pregnancy stretch marks, but… are they really that bad?
I swallow the knot in my throat, suddenly regretting my decision to wear a two-piece.
God, this is so stupid.
With more effort than I’d care to admit, I control my hurt expression and ask, “Is that a problem or something?”
“No!” he says quickly, loudly. I can’t help flinching. Michael clears his throat again. “Sorry. No, of course not. No problem with that. Let’s… Let’s go for a swim I guess.”
He gets to his feet and outstretches a shaking hand to me. Confused by his reaction, I take it and pull myself up with his help.
“Okay, then.”
Without another thought, I pull my tank top over my head and slide my shorts over my hips, folding them both neatly before stuffing them inside my beach tote.
The sun on my bare skin feels amazing, the excitement of spending the whole day at the beach fills me with light and hope.
Despite standing on the precipice of not wanting to take off my clothes in front of Michael not thirty seconds ago, I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face as soon as I turn to watch a wave crash onto the shore.
That is, until I turn back to Michael and am faced with a wall of tan, ripped, perfection of a man.
I try as hard as I can to keep a poker face, but I’m pretty sure there’s no hiding the surprised and wild expression in my eyes.
I mean, I knew the guy was attractive, but this…
this isn’t fair. Broad shoulders and a light smattering of hair, the surprising array of tattoos that remained hidden beneath his shirts until this very moment.
They’re unexpected, and reach all the way up to his shoulder, stopping below a corded, muscled, and delicious-looking neck…
Jelly-kneed, I attempt to say something—anything—but the sudden and unexpected attraction has derailed every other thought in my head besides, Oh my lord, this man…
My stomach tightens, my cheeks heat, and I’m mortified to admit that I feel a foreign tightening low in my belly.
Michael Haynes is hot. More than hot. As scalding as the summer sun beating down on us hot.
I swallow once, trying to hide the way I look him over, head to toe. But I guess I’m not subtle enough, because when I look back at his face, a knowing smirk has spread across it.
Shit.
“You ready?” he asks, his eyes roaming over my body as well, bright eyes darker as they trail every inch of me.
No.
I clear my throat and force a smile, the tightening in my belly increasing, the look of hunger in his eyes… incredibly satisfying. “Yeah. I’m ready.”