Chapter 38
Blake
My body hums and I clench my hand to keep my fingers from twitching at my side. That urge to break something—to destroy something, to paint this town fucking read—rears its ugly head, and it takes all of my self-control not to let it break free in front of Tracy.
I watch her from the doorway of my bathroom. It’s been a week since Lucas broke into her apartment and demolished it, and she’s been at my place ever since.
She’s in the bathtub now. Bubbles hide her body from my view and her head is tipped back, her blonde hair piled on top in a sexy, messy bun. Her eyes are closed as steam swirls around her, and it’s the first time she’s looked relaxed since that day.
I wish I could say the same.
I’ve been balancing on a tightrope all week. When I’m not at the office or here with Tracy, I’ve been out looking for Lucas. The bastard hasn’t been back to his house all week, and the more time that passes, the more tense I become—the more that urge to inflict pain rises to the surface.
Taking a deep breath, I push the feeling down, forcing an air of composure for Tracy’s sake. I need to be her rock. I need to be her comfort. I need to be her safe space. And I can’t be any of that if I let that darkness rise to the surface.
It scares her. I could clearly see the worry in her eyes when I saw what Lucas did to her apartment. Worry for me and how I would react. It was the same that night in the bar all those months ago when I lost control—she was scared of the side of me that came out.
Besides, it’s only a matter of time before Lucas resurfaces, and when he does, I’ll be waiting for him. I’ll unleash all the pent up aggression I keep pushing down. I’ll bring hell on him for what he did.
Walking over to the tub, I squat down next to it and grab Tracy’s hand that’s resting on the ledge, pulling it to my mouth to kiss her knuckles. “Do you want to go out for lunch today?” I ask.
She’s barely left my condo all week—not that I blame her.
Lucas witnessed her in her most vulnerable state, and he twisted that vulnerability and used it to hurt her, turning it into something ugly.
My brave, stubborn, confident woman who doesn’t let anyone get to her was shaken to her core, and it causes an ache in my chest to know I was a part of that.
The guilt I’ve felt all week has been crushing. I should have paid closer attention to our surroundings. I should have never forced her into something like that out in the open. I should have done a million things differently, and Tracy has paid the price for every single one of my mistakes.
“I have an appointment in a couple hours,” she says. “Dinner instead?”
“What appointment? A client?” I’d be surprised if she was working again already.
I told her not to worry about anything, and Craig has called her a few times to check-in and let her know he’ll be there when she gets back.
He doesn’t know the extent of what happened, just that her apartment was vandalized and she was taking some personal time.
“Just a routine checkup,” she says.
“Like with a doctor? Do you want me to come with?” I give her hand a squeeze.
She finally opens her eyes and offers me a small smile. “It’s just my yearly physical.” She winks at me. “I think I can handle it.”
Standing, I plant a kiss on her forehead. “I don’t doubt it. You are a fierce little thing.”
I head for the door, leaving her to finish soaking, when she calls to me. “Blake?”
“Yeah, sweetheart?”
“I love you.”
My heart skips a beat. “And I love you.”