Chapter 18
Chapter
Eighteen
Omega.
The word stuck in my head the rest of the night. It was all I could think about on the long, silent trek home through the pitch-black forest.
My whole life, I’d been what Tauren called kirre.
Normal. Ordinary. Human.
A description so fixed and unchanging that I never even questioned it. Like my brown eyes or my love of photography—that was just who I was.
So, who was I now?
I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. All I wanted was for things to go back to the way they were.
Back to my tiny apartment. Back to my “good-enough” job.
Hell, at this point, I wouldn’t even complain about the constant nightmares or the three in the morning sweats.
All I wanted was normalcy.
All I wanted was to be normal.
But I wasn’t.
Not anymore.
Apparently, even the brief time I’d spent in the Wilds had changed me. Turned me into something no one could classify or categorize—not even a ferus whose job it was to know everything.
Maybe Drogan had been right. Maybe I really was an abomination.
I wondered if Tauren was thinking the same thing as he guided me down the narrow path. He hadn’t said a word since we left his family home. Even there, he’d barely talked.
And there was no point in trying to read the emotions on his face. The moonless night was so dark that, even inches away, his entire body was cloaked in shadow. My only clue to his mood was the tension vibrating through his muscles as he gripped my hand.
Traveling blind through this outward and inward tangle, it was easy to let my darker thoughts take over.
Coming here wasn’t just a mistake; it was a disaster.
I’d tempted fate. Played with forces I didn’t understand. I’d thrown myself into the abyss, not just hoping for answers, but blindly believing something would catch me.
But instead, I was crashing to the ground, hitting everything on the way down, and breaking apart a world I had no business being in.
No wonder when I landed at the bottom, I was changed beyond recognition.
By the time we arrived back at Tauren’s house, I was in full rumination mode. I tucked myself into one of the wooden chairs by the table and tilted my head down at the floor as he lit the oil lamp by the door.
For a moment, the hiss and pop of the wick was the only sound in the room.
Then, “Hannah.”
Tauren’s voice, soft and low, filled the small cabin. Somehow, he packed a whole world of worry and concern into just the single word of my name.
I didn’t look up.
“We should travel back to the wall first thing tomorrow morning,” I said before he could open his mouth again. “I’ll need your help getting to the other side, but I can run like hell back to Goldwood after that. It’s only been a few days, so I’m sure my car is still there, and—“
“Hannah.”
“—it’s only a six hour drive back to San Jose.
” All the words that had been silently tumbling around in my head on the long walk home were now pouring out of my mouth in a rush.
I don’t think I could have stopped them if I tried.
“I’m sure the police will want to talk to me about what happened to Franklin, but I’ll say we were off-roading and a bear appeared out of nowhere.
We rolled the Jeep trying to avoid it, but it attacked Franklin, and I got lost running for my life. ”
“That’s not going to happen.” Tauren’s voice broke through the scenario playing out in my head.
“No, it will work,” I assured him, nodding furiously as my eyes stayed fixed on a knot in one of the floorboards. “It’s a believable story.”
And it was. Especially, if I blamed a blow to my head and a fuzzy memory for all the parts I didn’t want to talk about. The authorities would buy it, if for no other reason than it was a comforting lie.
No kirre wanted to believe the ferus had found a way through the wall.
“I’m not talking about your story.” His hands wrapped around my shoulders, and suddenly, I was lifted out of my seat. Once on my feet, Tauren captured my gaze, the intensity of his dark eyes holding mine steady. “You’re not going anywhere, Hannah.”
Not this again.
I tried to pull away, but Tauren’s hands held me fast.
“I have to, Tauren,” I argued. “After everything we learned tonight, even you have to see that. The Lore Keeper said the Wilds will be forever changed with me here. Your pack will splinter. We both saw the beginning of it tonight.”
“So?” Tauren shrugged. “Tonight I watched you stand up in front of everyone and practically call for a revolution.”
“I shouldn’t have done that.” I closed my eyes and shook my head. “I let my emotions take over. It wasn’t my place to stir the pot like that. I only caused more trouble.”
“Look at me, Hannah.” When I didn’t immediately comply, Tauren shook my shoulders until I raised my chin. “Why are you saying these things?”
I let out a long breath. “Your father was right.”
“No, he wasn’t,” Tauren said with a note of absolute certainty. “He hasn’t been right about anything in years, and he sure as hell wasn’t right about anything tonight.”
As much as I wanted to agree with him, I couldn’t. Not this time.
“You heard the Lore Keeper. I’ve changed since I’ve come here. No one can say what I am anymore. I’m an abomination.”
Tauren raised a hand and tucked a hair that had come loose from my ponytail back behind my ear, letting the back of his fingers caress my cheek as it went. He didn’t laugh, not exactly, but his breath became lighter, his whole body less tense.
“Is that all?” he asked. “Do you have any idea how many times he’s said the same thing about me? If I’d run away every time it happened, I’d be on the other side of the world by now.”
“But it’s not the same,” I argued. “You know what you are.”
“True,” he answered, his hand sliding from my cheek to the back of my neck and pulling me closer. “I am your alpha. And you are my woman—my omega. And if that makes us abominations, then we’ll be monsters together.”
“Tauren—“
“But the one thing we’ll never be is apart.”
Before I could argue any more, he lifted me up in his arms, branding me with a searing kiss that I felt all the way down to my toes.
All the anxious thoughts that had been swirling in my head for hours blew away in the wind as Tauren carried me to the bed and laid me on top of it.
Without breaking the kiss, one hand tore open my makeshift belt while the other lifted the hem of the simple linen dress over my head, leaving me naked in front of him in a matter of seconds.
Tauren’s dark eyes widened as his gaze swept over me.
“I’d fight the Fates themselves before I ever let you go.”
Damn.
The combination of his words and his stare caused an electrifying rush of tingles to sweep through me. I’d never been wanted before, and the animalistic desire in Tauren’s eyes was almost too much to bear. It made my head swirl. My thoughts scatter.
It almost made me lose track of what was really important—escape.
“Tauren, we shouldn’t—“
Before I could say another word, Tauren dipped his head down, pulling one of my breasts into his mouth.
The heat of his kiss, the sizzling sensation of his tongue laving against my nipple brought me fully out of my head and back into my body.
And the only thing my body wanted was him.
“Tauren!”
“That’s right,” he growled against my chest. “Say my name. Let everything in the Wilds know who your alpha is.”
Holy shit.
I tangled my hands in his hair as he flicked and nipped my tender flesh, winding the coil of desire inside me tighter and tighter—until my breaths became pants and my caresses became impatient scratches.
Only then did he start to lower his trail of blistering kisses down my body...over my belly…between my legs.
My back arched as he teased apart my labia with his tongue and stroked it across my clit. His mouth, so hot, so wet, closed around me, sucking and lapping and driving me out of my damn mind.
Gone were any thoughts about leaving. This was all I wanted.
It was the only thing I needed. All this sensation. All this connection.
All of Tauren.
He built the tension inside of me slowly…masterfully. First fast. Then slow. Then fast again.
Back and forth, he played with my pleasure, teasing me with the promise of fulfillment before pulling back and letting me breathe. Soon, I was writhing and moaning, acting like an animal as I begged for more.
But no matter how I pleaded for Tauren to end this delicious torment, he kept his own pace, carefully building me toward the point of no return.
And when, God only knows how much later, I finally crested that hill, I didn’t just come—I shattered.
Crying out his name and clawing at his shoulders, I broke apart into a thousand shimmering pieces. My legs shook, and my hips bucked, but all it took was one of Tauren’s massive arms slung over my waist to keep me pinned in place.
Another rush of wet heat poured out of me, but this time I didn’t feel half as shocked or embarrassed. If anything, it felt right.
This was how it was supposed to be.
My thighs needed to be slick, the walls of pussy dripping wet. My body needed to be ready to accept my alpha inside me.
Between my legs, Tauren continued to lap at me until my shakes had diminished to shivers and twitches. Only then did he raise his head and look me in the eye.
For someone who had been tasting me for a while now, he still looked pretty damn hungry.
A low rumbling growl vibrated out of his chest as he quickly tore off his clothes, giving me precious little time to catch my breath and take in the sight of him.
God damn, he was gorgeous. Thick and hard—and that went for all parts of him—the lamp light flickered off every contour of his finely muscled body.
No wonder every creature in the Wilds bowed to the greatness of an alpha. They were magnificent.
Tauren especially.
And to think that once I’d been terrified of him.
Now the only thing that scared me was the thought that there would come a time when he wouldn’t be beside me. When I wouldn’t be able to touch him. When I couldn’t feel his touch in return.
But that time wasn’t now.
The moment he had stripped down, he pushed my knees apart and pressed his hips between them.
“I’m yours, Hannah,” he growled as the tip of his cock teased at my opening.
“Yes.” The word slipped without thought from my lips—half moan, half prayer. Damn straight he was.
His fingers raked over my scalp, tangling in my hair. Slowly balling his hand into a fist, he pulled my head back, exposing the column of my neck.
“And you’re mine.”
I gasped as the heat of his mouth washed against the side of my neck, his teeth barely grazing the skin and causing me to wrap my arms around him. Slowly, he worked his way up.
“Say it,” his low whisper rumbled against my ear.
Oh God.
“I’m…I’m…”
The admission stuck in my throat, catching on the last bits of my pride and refusing to budge.
At least not until Tauren tilted his hips back just a fraction of an inch, and I felt the pressure of his shaft disappear. No! I cried out as the promise of his pleasure suddenly vanished.
There was a devilish edge to his laugh. “You want this?”
He was toying with me, I realized, but it didn’t matter. I was too wound up. I had to answer. There was no possibility of backing down now.
“Yes,” I panted. “Please, Tauren.”
“Then you know what you have to say,” he purred, the scratch of his beard rubbing against me as his cheek pressed against mine. “You know an alpha can only fuck his mate. So if that’s what you want, then admit what you are.”
I closed my eyes and swallowed my pride.
“I’m yours, Tauren,” I said. “Since the moment I came here, I’ve been yours.”
His growl grew to a roar, and suddenly the exquisite feel of his cock was back. Not just teasing this time, but fully plunging inside me.
My back arched as I took all of him in, my body swallowing his length in one stroke.
I gasped for air right before his mouth covered mine. His kiss was every bit as searing and possessive as his fucking. A wild, primal kind of taking that kept going and going as time slipped away. Seconds, minutes, hours—all of them blended together in a sea-tossed tempest of pure desire.
Over and over, I orgasmed. Again and again, until I lost track of time or sense of self or any of my worries. Until there was only Tauren and I together.
Until finally his body tensed and the pressure inside me built again.
His roar shook the walls as his body locked deep inside me. Shivers ran over my skin at the sensation of his cock pulsating against the tight hold of my pussy.
And once all the shaking was over, I felt limp and weak in his arms. Totally exhausted.
Once we’d both recovered enough to speak, Tauren rolled us onto our sides and held me close. That unusual bulge at the base of his cock that temporarily tied us together was back.
“Is that normal?” I asked, shooting a pointed look downward.
“My knot?”
“Is that what it’s called?”
He smiled as he swept the sweat-dampened hair out of my eyes. “It is…and yes, it’s what’s supposed to happen. Is it uncomfortable?”
I shook my head and stifled a yawn. Despite my best efforts to stay awake, my pleasure-drenched brain already seemed to be packing it in for the night. I could barely keep my eyes open.
“No,” I answered—the yawn slipping out anyway. “It’s kind of nice. A guarantee that you can’t run out on me.”
Tauren chuckled as he reached over to pull the covers over our exhausted bodies. “As if I’d ever want to,” he said.
And as my eyes slowly drifted downward, the dark shadow of sleep tucking in around me, I knew he was telling the truth.
He would never leave.
I was the only one who thought about that.