Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Aury
The next few days pass terribly slowly. I think even Bunny, my cat, is tired of my anxious moping, and she swipes at my ankle as I pace by her for the thousandth time this morning.
Did Siobhan like my tai chi class? Has she been practicing? Is she going to come to the next one? What if she doesn’t?
What if she does?
I spend most of the next week on autopilot during my classes and when completing paperwork for the community center.
My brain plays tricks on me when I keep thinking I see her from the corner of my eye, or smell a hint of her spicy tea wafting through a doorway.
I check every time, but she’s never there.
When I finally make it out of the building on Friday evening, I imagine for a second that I’ll run into her.
What if I change my routine, and instead of going home, I stroll down Main Street and end up finding out she gets coffee on Friday afternoons?
Or perhaps she has a sweet tooth, and instead of coffee in the mornings she starts her day at the bakery.
I could do that tomorrow.
To be honest, I’m such a home-body that just about anything in public would be a deviation from my norm. I’ve wandered around the corner to the apartment I rent without thinking about it, and Bunny greets me at the door with purrs and head-butts.
“Hi, little love,” I murmur, offering my fingers for scratches. She mews and rubs her cheek against me, then twists around my ankle. “Did you do lots of people watching today? Any news from the neighbors?”
She meows back at me, telling me all about her day, and it quiets some of the chaos in my brain.
I scoop some food into her dish and set it down, then turn to microwaving my own dinner, only for my thoughts to wander back to the pale-haired beauty.
I’ve resisted pulling out my phone all day, but I give in to the urge now.
While I know she’s a content creator, I try hard not to obsess about her online, but sometimes I can’t help it.
I would normally flip on the TV while I eat, but I spend the time watching one video of hers after another.
Her blue eyes sparkle when she glances at the camera, and her smile brightens when she gets a good reading.
The way she sits in a mound of pillows or criss-cross on a blanket, the drape of her boho shirt over her curves, and the sound of her raspy voice as she speaks.
All of it has longing surging through my veins.
I want to hold her, to talk to her. More than that, I want know her—and be known by her.
She spreads her arms wide at the end of the video I’m watching and waves to the camera, reminding me of her flowing body during my class yesterday.
We didn’t get far in the first lesson, but the way she moved shows her mind-body connection is exquisite.
She had no problem following every movement, flowing unerringly with intention and grace through every stretch as well as the basic tai chi walk.
My heart skips a beat and my chest warms at the memory, a strange sense of pride suffusing me.
I hope she enjoyed it. She seemed to, but I didn’t get a chance to talk to her afterwards.
I was too stuck in my own head, trying to sort out my words and what to say.
Before I could figure it out, she was disappearing out the door with her friends.
I sigh, wishing for the millionth time that I was more brave.
That I had more going for me. Maybe even that I was an alpha so I could be what she needs.
Anything to give me a chance with her.
I fall asleep to images of Siobhan’s slender arms curving above her head as she moves through a stretch, and I wake with my cock hard as a metal rod.
I groan and roll to my back, the last vestiges of lust-filled blue eyes and my name being moaned by her perfect lips fading from memory as consciousness greets me.
I have got to get over this crush. It’s been two years, and if nothing has happened by now, chances are it’s not going to.
Omega’s don’t tend to stay single if they don’t want to, and the fact is that Siobhan could be with whoever she wants by crooking one cute little finger at them.
I don’t realize I’m stomping through the house until Bunny yowls at me, and I startle.
I’m normally much more self-aware, and I shake my head at how out of sorts she has me.
Regardless of how unlikely it is, I can’t stop hoping. I could use a walk before my Saturday afternoon classes, and Main Street isn’t too far from where I live. So I force myself out of the apartment, putting yesterday’s idea into practice and going to all the places I don’t normally go.
I start at the coffee shop, convinced her warm, earthy chai scent is lingering in the air, although my brain tells me it’s probably just the actual tea being served to customers.
Then I wander up and down the street, eyes swiveling this way and that, darting to every brightly-colored skirt and golden-blonde head, only for my shoulders to drop when it’s never her.
When downtown yields no results, I tell myself I might as well walk through the park.
It’s only a little further away, and so what if she’s often there in the videos she posts on her social media?
I doubt she will be today. I’m only going because it’s been too long since I’ve enjoyed it.
I swear I catch a hint of her scent weaving between the trees, but it’s so fleeting I could very well have imagined it.
My heart pangs when I turn around, resigned. I sigh and my steps slow as I plod back the way I came. I stop by the coffee shop on my way home, and when the barista asks what I want, I nearly ask them to brew an extra sweet masala chai for me.
But I don’t. Because I’m not that far gone.
I tell them to pick their favorite, then I pout into the tea when it doesn’t taste or smell like what I wanted.
I don’t even know what I’d do if I did see her.
Maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t.