Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Siobhan
I’ve been waiting for this for days. It’s finally our second tai chi class, and I can’t stop bouncing with excitement. I did my best to practice what I could remember over the last week, and I hope it shows during the lesson today.
Foolish though it may be, I want to impress Aury.
Sage and Wren meet me outside the community center, grinning at me as they nudge their elbows into my sides. Vee, one of Sage’s alphas, is propped against the brick wall further down, and I wave. She smiles and offers me a chin-jerk in response.
“We have it all worked out,” Wren says when I get close enough, placing a delicate hand on my forearm and squeezing in reassurance. Her voice is calm, matter-of-fact. “We’ll have our stuff ready to go this time, so at the end of the lesson we can duck out, and you can stay to chat with him.”
“Wait, what?” It takes me a second to catch onto what she’s saying, and then I can’t get the proper words out to tell them that’s not how it is. Yes, I think he’s cute, but I don’t need to try to start anything. “I don’t— That’s not—”
Sage is nodding with what I think is supposed to be an encouraging look on her face. “You can do it! Do you want us to wait after? We can wait for you out here if you need moral support!”
And now I feel pathetic, though I know she doesn’t mean it that way.
“No, no. That’s fine, you don’t need to wait around for me.”
“So you’ll do it?” Sage says, her big brown eyes wide with excitement.
Did they just talk me in a circle until I agreed with them? I blush and shake my head.
“Fine, yeah,” I mutter, tugging them along with me into the building. “Whatever.”
My nerves turn to butterflies when I walk in to see Aury stretching. He’s sprawled out on the gleaming hardwood floor, body contorted in ways I can’t fathom and muscles flexing with the stretch he’s doing. My mouth goes dry and I come to an abrupt halt, causing Sage to run into my back.
“Oof,” she says, bouncing off me. “Siobhan?”
At my name, Aury’s head snaps up and a thin silver necklace swings from the abrupt movement. His dark brown eyes pierce me, flaying me open and sinking into my soul. I wouldn’t be surprised if he told me he could read my thoughts right now.
And then… is he blushing?
It’s hard to tell with his warm skin tone, but no. It’s probably exertion from whatever exercise he’s cooling down from. I doubt it has anything to do with me.
I convince my feet to move again and we file into the room. Sage and Wren are chatting quietly, and I try to tune into what they’re saying, but my mind is fixed on Aury behind me. Is he watching me? Does he feel whatever this draw is between us, too? Or is it just a me thing?
The lesson at least helps me relax, forcing me to focus on my body as we review the stretches and walk we learned last time, then start learning some of the forms. Aury demonstrates each one first, then goes through the motions one step at a time.
His back is to us, so we’re all facing the front, and every so often our gazes collide in the mirror that covers the entire wall.
My heart skips each time it happens, and I bite my lip when my perfume starts to leak into the air around us.
“Shit,” I whisper, and Sage side-eyes me.
“What?” she whispers back as we slowly turn.
“I’m…” I trail off and try to subtly wave my hand, but she shakes her head, not understanding. “Perfuming.”
Her mouth forms a perfect O, and her eyes dart to the front of the room before coming back to me. She takes a step in my direction and sniffs delicately, and although she tries to hide her nose twitching, I catch it. “It’s not that bad,” she says.
I sigh. She’s sweet, but she’s a terrible liar.
I do my best to keep my thoughts on the movements and my eyes away from Aury, instead watching the older Chinese women in front of me as they follow Aury’s movements.
It’s much less effective, significantly less enjoyable, but at least I’m not making a fool of myself by filling the entire room with my sweetened chai perfume.
When the lesson ends, Sage and Wren nearly sprint from the room.
Sage shoots me a thumbs-up as she slips out the door, and I smile.
They really are good friends. I grab my water bottle and tip my head back, letting a stream of cool water slide down my throat, stalling until everyone else has left as well.
And then it’s only the two of us.
I finish packing my bag, then straighten and turn around, sucking in a steadying breath while I stride over to him. I can do this.
“Hey, Aury.” I fidget with the straps of my bag, and he turns to me, a smile already pushing at his high cheekbones.
I haven’t been this close to him maybe ever, and his cinnamon and honey scent is strong after a day of sweating and teaching classes.
It’s a fight with my self control not to lean into his neck to huff him deep into my lungs.
“Siobhan,” he says. His voice is smooth, a moderate tenor and perfectly soothing. “Have you taken tai chi before? You’re picking it up so fast.”
My cheeks heat at the praise, and I shake my head, astounded to realize I feel shy. Not something I can ever remember feeling before. I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear and clear my throat. “No, um. I haven’t. It’s my first time.”
And then I’m thinking about what other first times I could have with him… I’ve been with all variety of genders before, but there are plenty of things that could be a first for us.
My perfume explodes out of me, and my eyes flare with mortification while his widen with alarm.
“Oh my— Shit,” I say, panting as I clamp my thighs together and try to step back, all at the same time. “I’m so sor—”
His hand darts out and one finger presses into my lips, halting my words.
“I know you aren’t about to apologize for how incredible you smell right now,” he says, dark eyes blazing.
I don’t know what to do, so I shake my head. His finger is still pressing a divot into my lips.
I stick my tongue out and lick it, swiping the sweet, lightly floral taste of his skin into my mouth. Pleasure trickles through me, and since he hasn’t moved his finger yet, I open my lips wider, then close them around it.
His mouth drops open and he gapes at me. It’s only then that I realize exactly what I’ve done.
Did I think I was mortified before? It’s nothing compared to how I feel now.
I gasp and take a jerky step back, allowing his finger to fall. He glances down, taking in the shine of my saliva, and I’m about to collapse to the floor and die when he does that last thing I could have predicted.
He sticks his tongue out and licks his own finger.
Now I’m the one shocked, and my entire body freezes halfway between running away and melting into a humiliated puddle. He groans, a barely-there rumble in his throat, and then he sticks his whole finger in his mouth and sucks my saliva from it.
His eyes land back on me, and he’s taking two steps forward before I can blink in surprise.
One firm hand lands on my hip, and the other tangles in my messy braid.
He tips my head back and leans over me, our scents swirling in the air around us, and I let my eyes drift closed.
This is everything I wanted, everything I’ve been dreaming of. For Aury to kiss me, see me, want me.
Instead of his lips kissing mine, though, his forehead rests against my temple and he sighs.
“Siobhan,” he breathes out, the air ghosting across my ear.
I open my eyes to see a pained expression on his face, and rejection tries to slide its poisonous fangs into my vein. “What is it?” I ask. “I’m sorry, if you don’t want—”
“No,” he says, interrupting me again. “I do want. I very much do want. But not like this. You deserve better than this.”
He pulls away, but his hands don’t release their hold on me. He bends his knees so he can look me straight in the eye, and my gaze flits back and forth over his earnest, handsome face. He starts to smile, but before he can say anything else, my intrusive thoughts make themselves known.
“Do you date?” I blurt out, then slap a hand over my mouth. Moon Goddess, have I lost all sense? That was barely a sentence!
His grin is slow, sublime, as it spreads across his face, and it seems to light up every nerve ending his fingers are touching.
“I would love nothing more than to take you out on a date, Siobhan,” he says. “Now, can I walk you out to your car while we sort the details?”
I nod, dazed and a little overwhelmed by the roller coaster ride we just took, but I turn and his hands fall from me, and I’m only a little sad about it.
“How are you liking the class?” Aury asks, turning to close the door behind us as we exit.
“I love it,” I say. “I’ve been practicing what I can, but it’s hard to remember it all.”
We’re already pushing through the front doors, the chill evening breeze of early autumn kissing my sweaty skin, and I don’t want this to end. I turn back to look at him, seeing him a couple steps behind me as he was holding the door open for someone to walk inside.
“Can I give you my num— Ah!” I shriek, flailing my arms when I miss the top step.
The cement stairs rush up to meet me, and pain flares through my wrist, then my legs and ribs and head as I tumble down the flight of concrete steps.
“Siobhan!”
I barely register the panicked shout, my body screaming at me on the inside. Or maybe that’s me screaming on the outside.
The last thing I see is Aury’s horrified face as he bends over me, his mouth moving frantically but his words not making it past the ringing in my ears. Pain slams through my body, pounding through my head, and then blackness overtakes me.