Chapter 24
ASH
Despite being a bit less smiley than before, Gerry has been calmer and more relaxed since his conversation with Jace the other day. He is still my little goofball at times, though.
“Does this make my butt look big?”
I glance over towards the fitting room to see the little shit sticking his bottom out towards me before shaking it back and forth. He giggles at my exaggerated eye roll and runs back into the changing room to finish trying on the clothes we picked out.
Eight is old enough that I can mostly trust him to know when things don’t fit right, but I’m not crazy enough to let him completely choose everything himself.
Also, growth spurts are absolutely a thing, so I made sure to take that into account with our choices.
We will come back for anything heavier than a hoodie around Halloween and again in the new year if necessary.
Until he stops growing, seasonal shopping will absolutely be a thing in our house… their house.
It’s not permanent. The landlord had the front door replaced yesterday and the new hot water tank will be installed in two days. I will move back once that is done.
Once all of the important selections are made – Pokémon is a thousand times cooler than Super Mario for shoes apparently – we load up my car to head home.
Only, the damn thing won’t start.
You have got to be fucking kidding me! I cannot afford to have my car fucking break right now. I am supposed to be starting at WB Construction next week. A car is a bit of a fucking necessity to get to work every day.
“What’s wrong with your car, Ash?”
I look to the backseat. Gerry is playing with the Transformers toy I decided to surprise him with as a treat.
Thankfully, he isn’t looking, so he won’t see the tears forming from my frustration.
I just spent the last three hours fitting this kid out to be the coolest fucking third grader in Wrenshaw.
How am I supposed to tell him that I can’t afford to call a tow truck without returning some of his new clothes?
“Why not call Jax? He fixed your window last time. Maybe he can fix the key this time?”
Calling Jackson wouldn’t be a bad idea if it wasn’t for the fact that I still don’t have the money to pay for the damn tow. Steve’s dad might be a sweetheart, but he doesn’t exactly offer any discounts outside of family members. Maybe Jace gets a family discount?
“I’m gonna text your brother. Why don’t we get some nuggets and sit in the air conditioning for a bit while I figure this out?”
Me:
Do u get a discount from GBT&T?
After ordering a kid’s meal for Gerry and using my rewards app to get a free order of nuggets for myself, I let him go play in the kids’ area while I wait for the food and a response from Jace.
**:
y? what happened?
Before I can type my response, our food is ready.
I guess the upside to being broke and ordering so little is fast service.
I carry the tray to a corner booth where I can see both Gerry and my giant lawn ornament.
The kid runs back to me and starts stuffing his face with fries.
After opening up the sweet and sour sauce for me and the ranch for him, I pick my phone back up.
Me:
car wont start. Ger and I are at mcdonalds so that we don’t roast
I just need to know if u get a discount so that I know how much of the clothing I have to return to cover it.
**:
y would u have to return anything?
Me:
to pay for the tow
The three dots appear, disappear, and reappear multiple times before I set the phone down and start eating my own nuggets. Gerry seems content to play with his toy for now, so I let myself feel the frustration a bit more than I normally would.
I have done everything in my power to make sure the kid doesn’t get the shit end of the stick when it comes to normal childhood experiences. My parents never let me feel money troubles, and I don’t want Gerry to have one more worry on his head.
Hell, my financial situation isn’t even his problem… except when my life fucks up when he’s with me. Starting next week, it won’t affect him anymore. I’ll be back at work and he will be splitting his time between Jace’s workshop and the community center until school starts up.
He looks up to show off something cool with the toy from his meal, and it’s like a punch to the gut. I’m going to fucking miss this kid so much. Every day of the last few months has been hilarious and heart-wrenching and…
I can’t fucking do it.
I can’t go back to being just neighbors.
I can’t go back to before I knew what it was like being with them, with Jace.
For the first time in my life, I feel wholly accepted and loved. It will break me to go back.
“Brother Bear, I think something’s wrong with Ash.”
I hear the words, but nothing can stop the pain of my heart shredding in my chest. Something is very much wrong with me. I don’t belong anywhere.