Chapter 25
JACE
After texting Jackson to get a truck over to the shopping center for Ash’s car, I call them before hopping in the van to go pick them and Gerry up at the McDonald’s. Instead of Ash, Gerry answers the call with obvious worry in his voice.
“Brother Bear, I think something’s wrong with Ash.”
My heart is suddenly in my throat and my foot presses a bit heavier on the accelerator. The cops around here don’t give a fuck about speed anyway outside of the school year and when they need to meet their quotas.
“What’s goin on there Ger-Bear?”
The kid had the idea that all of us in the family need a “bear” nickname because Jackson likes to call me “Baby Bear” and he has heard the guys from the manor call me “TB” or “Teddy Bear” a few times, so I’ve indulged him with it.
The first time he called Justice “Lawyer Bear” was priceless. Names are really not his forte.
“She looked really sad and then dropped her nugget and she’s crying but she’s not making any noise and… is Ash going to be alright? She isn’t holding my hand back.”
Shit. Fuck. Shit. Shit. Fuck.
I am still at least five minutes out.
Ash hasn’t had a dissociative anxiety attack in a while.
They used to happen a lot more often back when they…
she first moved in. The attacks usually only happen when she would have the time to overthink things.
As long as she stayed engaged in some activity, she was fine, but too much time to think allows intrusive thoughts to take root.
At least that’s what she told me when we were working the bar during her first New Year’s Eve at the club.
“She’ll be okay,” I do my best to reassure my little brother. “Just sit by her and don’t let anyone touch her anymore. I will be there in less than five minutes. I promise.”
Touching Ash when she’s like this can result in no response or it can trigger a primal one.
I’m honestly grateful she didn’t respond to Gerry trying to hold her hand, but I can’t guarantee the same will happen if a random stranger touches her.
Is it logical? Not in the slightest, but fear and anxiety are the farthest things from logic most of the time.
Without knowing what set her off, I can’t begin to speculate how her mind will try to protect her body.
Still three fucking minutes away…
The center console lights up to show me Jackson’s text and I hit the call button immediately.
“Do not go near Ash or Gerry until I get there!” I practically yell as soon as the call connects.
I can see him from the intersection as he leans against the side of the restaurant, hopefully out of sight from Gerry inside. Thank goodness he isn’t going to push me on this.
“Seeing as how you never raise your voice, I’m assuming Ash is having an episode?”
I exhale heavily in relief that he understands without an explanation.
Most of us that were around when Ash first moved up on Manor Drive remember the day Theo got thrown through the manor’s front window.
Thank fuck it was before Lucky moved in because it took weeks to get all of the bloodstains cleaned up.
Honestly, I am surprised I manage to turn off the van before running into the restaurant after parking. Jackson follows, like I knew he would. It doesn’t take long to locate Ash and Gerry since they are the only people in the corner by the play area.
“Gerry, why don’t you go outside to help Jackson with Ash’s car?”
Ash tenses when the kid leaves her side. Only her eyes track him until he reaches my big brother, but they are devoid of her usual warmth. Once her eyes meet mine, nothing else matters. I have to go to her.
Somehow, I manage to get her up and walking out to the van while Jackson is entertaining Gerry by showing him how to operate a tow truck. While my attention is on the person in front of me, I almost miss the text from my brother.
Jackson:
go ahead and take Ash home. GB and I need some bonding time at the movies after I get the car back to the shop.
Twisting in my seat, I can see Gerry sitting in the cab of the tow truck and Jackson throws me a mock salute.
My nod makes him smile, and Gerry waves enthusiastically as I drive past. I’m not sure what Jackson told him was going on, but I am grateful.
My big brother might not be the most mature guy out there most days.
Even so, there is no one on the planet I could ever imagine being more loyal or self-sacrificing.
Maybe someday someone else will notice without taking advantage of him.
The drive home is the longest twenty minutes I can honestly ever remember experiencing.
Even the agonizing waiting after they turned off the machines with David wasn’t this nerve wracking.
Ash being unresponsive for this long is not something I have ever experienced before.
Usually her disassociation attacks would last only a few minutes at most. The longest one was maybe ten minutes total before Theo got too close, and she tossed the man nearly twice her size through a window before jumping through after him to start beating the ever loving shit out of him.
As much as I don’t want that to be me, I am also willing to let her do whatever she needs to me if it makes her feel better and come back to herself.
“Talk to me, Ash.” I try to coax her once we are inside the trailer.
She heads straight back to her bedroom instead of responding.
I follow at a distance and let out a sigh of relief when the shower turns on.
Any kind of conscious action means progress.
While she is washing up, I am going to get the surprise I finished at the workshop yesterday for her.
Having Gerry out for the evening makes it the perfect time.
I don’t want her to feel pressured to answer a certain way because he is here.
Maybe Jackson can even keep Gerry at the house for a night?