19. Jared
Jared
“Now!” I yell. My heart is pounding fast, and it feels like it’s going to pop out of my chest at any second.
Kailey’s body is fading; she’s about to pass out in my arms. When I walked back inside the emergency department from trying to reach Joey, her body was crouched down in the middle of the floor.
I’ve never been in this position before; I don’t know what’s up or down, except this whole night has gone to shit.
I’m praying Beth comes out of this hospital alive.
Seeing Kailey break down, right before my eyes, broke something deep inside me. I want to protect her from this pain.
“You’re okay. Breathe with me, baby. In and out.
In and out. Come on, you can do this.” Whispering these words into her ear while I stroke her black hair in a slow, calming rhythm, I grab her hand and lift her from the floor.
My mouth goes to her racing radial pulse, and I give her two quick pecks there.
She doesn’t acknowledge the kiss. Kailey’s red, splotchy, tear-stained face looks up at me. Wiping the snot that’s dripping from her nose with her bare hand, she snaps, “I’ll never be okay again.”
Kailey’s eyes shift from my face to something behind me. Her face morphs right before my eyes, from devastation into pure rage. She shifts her body to get past me with determination as she runs outside. Before I can comprehend what’s happening, Kailey launches herself at Joey.
“What the fuck have you done?” she screams before punching him square in the face, and I can hear the crunch of bone. Instantly, blood pours from my brother’s nose.
He shoves at her chest, and pushes her away from him. “Not a fucking thing, you psycho! I’m here because Jared called me.”
“Don’t fucking touch her, Joey!” I grab his elbow, pulling him back.
“You did this, you bastard!” Her voice—it doesn’t sound like her.
Before she can attack Joey again, the rest of the group comes outside.
Greg grabs Kailey’s hips from behind and pulls her backwards until she’s flush against him.
He’s actively holding her thrashing body back.
Greg, Steffan, Brittney, and Travis look angry and disgusted.
“Hey!” Steffan yells, his stare bouncing between Kailey and Joey. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“This wouldn’t be happening if she didn’t take something you gave her!” Kailey points her shaking finger at my brother. Her shoulders are heaving up and down, like she can’t get enough air into her lungs.
“We don’t know what all happened.” I put my hands up in surrender. Trying to calm her down like you would a rabid dog.
“I didn’t force her to take shit.” Joey spits blood on the sidewalk after his snide remark.
Damn, my girl got him good.
“I’m sure she’ll be fine. Haven’t you ever seen someone on a bad trip before?” An evil grin takes over his face.
“Get the fuck outta here!” Steffan shoves Joey back a few feet.
“I’m going to tell the police! Tell them it’s all your fault! Sarah told me what happened!” As the words leave her mouth, she looks like a ghost—pale and like her soul has left her body. She’s shaking her head back and forth, her eyes glossed over.
Joey brushes invisible lint off of his left shoulder. “Well, good luck with that. Let’s go, Jared.” He attempts to grab my elbow to pull me toward him. “They don’t need or want us here.”
I look back at Kailey, the woman I’ve fallen madly, deeply in love with. “No, I’m going to stay. We need to be here for Beth, for when she wakes up.”
“You need to leave.” Those words slice through the quiet air.
I swallow the lump forming in my throat and attempt to regain my composure that’s slipping. I look at Kailey. “What?” My voice is pleading.
“You need to go, with your brother,” Kailey flatly states, her voice devoid of any emotion.
“No.” As I reach for her, she takes a step back at the same time, putting her hands up as a barrier.
“I can’t be around you right now. Leave, Jared.”
Her words are a whisper, but her message is clear.
Sharp pain radiates inside my chest. She can’t mean that…
It has to be the adrenaline from the night talking.
Kailey turns around and walks back inside, her body latching onto Brittney’s side.
With every step she takes away from me, I can feel my heart cracking into pieces.
“Just go for now; we’ll keep you updated,” Greg tells me, while nodding his head in the direction where Joey took off.
“This is a lot right now,” Steffan chimes in.
I shake my head slowly back and forth. I’m unable to take my eyes off of Kailey as she walks away from me.
“I swear, I didn’t know...” My eyes burn behind their closed lids as a lonely tear sneaks down my cheek.
My knees give out, and I drop to the cold pavement.
“I didn’t fucking know!!!” Wanting the pain inside my chest to stop, I punch into the concrete over and over again.
Kailey
When I started learning medical terminology and nursing instruments, I never thought it would be used in this kind of situation.
Disgust fills my body as I walk back into the emergency department’s waiting room.
Dad is standing through the barrier of the doors, hands in his pockets, face covered with red splotches.
His posture is rigid, and he’s been crying.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen my dad cry.
“Follow me,” he orders my brother and me, while slowly turning around. His soft, determined steps head straight for E.D. One.
As a child, adults would randomly tell me that my whole life could change in an instant. You never really believe them, but I should’ve believed it.
Bleach. That’s the smell that engulfs my nose as I walk on the shiny white marble floors.
My feet are trailing behind a nurse wearing a solemn expression, alongside my dad.
I hear a child screaming in a patient’s room, and a woman shuts the door as we walk by.
I see staff laughing at the nurse’s station, looking at something on someone’s phone.
A man in a hospital gown is calling a nurse a bitch, saying she’s worthless and for her to go grab the doctor.
My hand starts to feel a warm sensation. When I look down at it, I see Travey’s hand is now wrapped around mine. I give it a squeeze. How is he so calm?
“E.D. 1” is labeled in bold letters on a plastic plaque above the room.
We walk together through the open door. Beth wears a hospital gown, and she’s lying on a stretcher in the middle of the room.
Her bra and underwear are in pieces in the corner of the room, and it appears they had to be cut off of her body.
My body is frozen in place, and I can see everything in the room.
The countertop is a cluster of syringes, opened medication boxes, empty tubes…
Is that a catheter? No one has spoken since we walked into the room.
The doctor’s hands are clasped together in front of him, a grim expression lacing his face.
“She went too long without oxygen.” Dr. Hugh cuts through the silence, his words directed at my parents, and then he looks at my brother and me.
“But miracles happen all the time,” Mom cries while her stare lingers on my sister’s peaceful body.
I hear machines beeping at her bedside. Beth’s body is still pale, and she has a breathing tube hanging out of her mouth. I stand in place, in a trance, watching to make sure her chest continues to rise and fall.
“Nothing else can be done, Mr. and Mrs. Caine; Beth is brain-dead. She failed the apnea test, the EEG, and the angiography.” The doctor steps closer to the stretcher, and he looks down at my sister.
“It’s my recommendation that we cease life-prolonging measures.
” Dr. Hugh’s eyes are glossy when he looks back at my family.
“I’m so sorry for your loss. Please let my staff know your decision.
Take as much time as you need with your daughter.
” The doctor stops and turns around, pausing at the door, silently making sure we have nothing more to say to him before shutting the door.
“But she’s breathing; she’s okay,” Travey whispers next to Beth’s bed.
“Not really, she isn’t.” A sob breaks free from Dad, and he attempts to cover it with a clearing of his throat.
“Your sister is brain-dead. These machines…” he points to each one, located around the room, “they’re keeping her body alive.
” He slowly walks up to my sister, pauses his movement, and kneels down at her bedside.
Dad leans over her and places a soft kiss on her forehead.
His mouth lingers there, and he quietly tells her, “I love you, baby girl.”
“They are wrong!” Mom screams. “Our daughter is still in there! Come back to us, sweetie.” She throws herself on top of Beth, whispering words into her ear while brushing stray hairs out of her beautiful face.
Travey doesn’t move a muscle—he’s a statue—and he continues to just stare at them.
“This can’t be real.” Shaking his head, he walks over to where Dad is now holding himself up against the wall behind the stretcher.
Dad turns and hugs him tight. I’m quiet as I watch my little brother’s armor break apart, shattering piece by piece.
Dad sees me staring and gives a nod of silent understanding.
Beth’s hands are cold as I grip one into mine.
“I love you so, so, so much. You’re my best friend.
” Snot drips from my nose, landing on the crisp white sheet.
I wipe it away with the back of my hand.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Beth.” Her sunflower tattoo, the twin to mine, is radiant with color behind her left ear and down her neck.
A contrast to the rest of her pale body.
On instinct, my fingertips trail over the spot behind my right ear.
“I can’t do this life without you,” I whisper, laying my head next to hers on the pillow.
I let out a shaky breath, raising my head up to look at her face that’s devoid of any emotions.
I don’t believe that she’s really gone. I cautiously and unhurriedly lift each of her eyelids and find that both of her pupils are blown.
Sobs rake through my body as I lean in, placing a soft kiss above her right dimple piercing.
My. Fault. This is all my fucking fault. Why did I have to go and get involved with Jared?