28. Simone
Simone
“Tilt the phone down so we can see him!” Lani whines.
“Yeah. I mean, we love you, Simone,” Lydia says. “But we’re on this call for the dog!”
I roll my eyes and raise the phone up in the air so they can see our family dog and me in matching PJs.
Yes, I got my family’s dog into a Christmas PJ set that matches mine.
“I feel really neglected right now,” I pout.
“Hush…you’re a cutie too. But OMG look at that sweet baby boy!” Lani coos.
“He’s literally almost sixteen, Lani. He can barely get up from his bed anymore. He’s a grandpa.”
“A cute wittle grandpa, isn’t that right?”
“As cute as he is, I have to run, girls,” Lydia tells us.
“Ugh, don’t leave us, Lyd!” I say, sticking out my bottom lip.
“I don’t want to, but I’m gonna be late for the study group if I don’t leave now.”
“Ugh…go then. Like it’s not bad enough you didn’t come with me for break, now you won’t even stay on the phone with me 24/7.”
“Do you need me to get you a phone necklace so you can carry me around everywhere you go on FaceTime?”
I nod. “Yeah…actually, that sounds perfect. Where do I get one of those?”
“Love y’all!” she says, laughing.
“Bye!” Lani and I both say, pouting.
We all hang up just as Tyler calls.
“Hey, babe,” he says as soon as I answer. “I’m at your door.”
I jump up, smiling. “Coming!”
My mom yells at me to slow down when I barrel down the hallway, trying to get to the front door. I just wave her off, too excited to see Tyler.
We’ve both been back home for two weeks now, and this is only the second time I’m getting to see him. It seems like he’s had a full schedule this whole break. And who knows how much time I’ll get with him while we’re home.
As soon as I open the door, he pulls me into him and kisses me.
I’ve been craving this from him, and I’m happy to finally be getting it…relieved to be getting it.
But as the day goes on, that attention seems to run dry pretty quickly.
By the end of the day, we’ve fought over countless small and unimportant things, and it feels like he wants to be anywhere but here.
We’re sitting on opposite ends of the couch watching reruns of The Game, and I just want to have a good night with him.
I get up to grab a drink, and when I come back, I try to sit closer to him, hinting at wanting to cuddle, but he seems to miss or ignore every cue.
His phone buzzes on the coffee table, and the name Emily with a shooting star emoji lights up. He grabs it and laughs to himself as he replies to the message. I put my feet up on his lap, and he finally scoots closer as he places his phone back down, wrapping his arms around my legs.
I hate this feeling.
Trust me, I don’t want to care. I don’t want it to bother me.
It doesn’t bother me…
It kinda bothers me.
We’ve always trusted each other enough that this kind of thing never mattered.
And I do trust Tyler. I just…I don’t know why I’m feeling this way all of a sudden.
I have no reason to worry. He’s never broken my trust before.
He’s had friends who were girls since we were younger. It’s never been an issue for us.
I just…I can’t get the feeling of jealousy to go away, and I hate it. I don’t like this feeling. I’ve never felt it before. I’ve never had any reason to feel it. I’m Simone fucking Edwards—as confident as they come. At least that’s what I like for people to think.
It’s obviously just in my head. We’ve been apart for the first time in our entire relationship, and it’s just making me feel like I need to hold on to him tighter or he’ll slip away.
He doesn’t say anything for a while, and we just go back to watching the show.
When another episode ends, he stretches and pulls me in next to him, kissing the top of my head. “I’m gonna go meet up with a couple of my old teammates from West Meck, okay?”
A wave of disappointment hits me.
“Will I see you again before Christmas? I really wanted us to go out and see some lights and go ice skating at the Ice House. You know, all the cute holiday couple things.”
He gives me a small, forced smile. “Of course, babe. We’ll try to make it happen.”
“Try?”
He huffs. “Yes, babe, try. I’ve just had a lot of friends and family to catch up with on break.”
“And all of these people are more important than your girlfriend?”
He takes my face in both of his hands and kisses me before pulling back. “Of course not. But I’m only one person, and I’m trying to keep everyone happy.”
“Well, you’re not doing a great job with me,” I pout.
He gives me a small laugh. “I’ll make it up to you, promise.”
“Mhm.”
“I love you, Simmy.”
The nickname pulls a small smile from me, and I roll my eyes playfully. “I guess I love you too, Ty-Ty.”
He stands up and reaches his hand out for me to take, and I stand too. Then he wraps me in a hug before kissing me goodbye.
For once, I want to feel the electricity between us without questioning whether it’s still there or not. I focus so much on if he still wants me that I can’t enjoy the small moments anymore without questioning if they’re enough on their own.
After he leaves, I retreat back to my room with a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies my dad made earlier and the current book I’m reading.
In the middle of reading, my phone buzzes with an incoming call, and I reach for it, thinking it could be Tyler.
When I see Mason’s name, I’m almost…happier? I mean, I want to know how he’s doing, and I miss my friend…I miss all my college friends.
I answer it and plop back down onto the bed. “Masey-Mase! How’s the great sunny state of Florida treating you?”
“Hey, pretty girl,” he says, propping his phone up so I can see him. “It’s been…real festive over here.”
It comes out purposely sarcastic, and I shake my head, laughing.
His hair is damp like he just got out of the shower, his eyes are heavy, like the day hasn’t been the kindest to him, and he’s…shirtless.
“So, what trouble have you been getting into?” I ask.
“You know, the usual. Hanging out with some old high school friends, spending a lot of time at the rec center playing some pick-up games of flag football, and still trying to get some last-minute Christmas shopping done for these spoiled little boys.”
I prop my phone up at the end of my bed and then rest my chin on top of my hands. “You gonna get me anything while shopping?” I tease.
“I’ll get you whatever you want.”
I lift a brow. “Whatever I want?”
“Name it,” he says smoothly.
I pretend to think about it. “I’d like a Mini Kelly Leather Chanel bag, and…”
He doesn’t even look fazed, just smiles at me.
“I’m joking,” I tell him.
“You deserve whatever your heart desires—”
“Mase!”
“Mase!”
Two little voices fill the other side of the call, and then I see two blonde heads pop into view.
Mason rolls his eyes, but I see the way his face softens for them. “Yes?”
“Come play! Please! You promised after you showered.”
“I know. I’m coming, let me just finish up with this call, okay?”
“Who’s dat?” one of them asks.
He turns the phone so they can see me.
“This is Simone. Say hey.”
“Hey!” they both shout at the same time.
“Hey, babies. Aren’t y’all the cutest? Geez, y’all look just like two miniature versions of your brother.”
“I look better than him!” one says, crossing his arms.
“No, I do!” the other argues.
“Y’all are identical twins,” Mason says. “You look the same.”
“She’s pretty,” one of the boys whispers to Mason.
He laughs and looks at me on the screen. “She is, isn’t she?”
“Is she your girlfriend?”
He almost chokes, laughing. “No, she’s just a friend, buddy. Are you trying to charm my friend, Easton?”
“Ew! Girls have cooties!” the other shouts, jumping on Mason’s back, as he sits on the edge of his bed.
He shakes his head, smiling. “Give it a couple of years, Ash. You’ll be chasing those cooties around.”
“No way!” he says, sticking his tongue out.
The other one—Easton—leans back in. “Can she come play with us, too?”
“Sadly, no,” he tells them. “She’s all the way in North Carolina right now.”
“Where’s dat?”
“It’s like a nine-hour drive from here, bud.”
“Woah, dats far.”
“It is,” he says softly. “Okay, I’m gonna come play. Just give me a minute to finish up this call, and I’ll be down.”
“Okay! Bye, Simone!”
“Bye, boys,” I tell them, smiling.
Once they’re gone, he walks into his closet and grabs a shirt, pulling it on.
“Sorry, those two are feral.”
“No, they’re so cute. I’m obsessed with them.”
He takes his phone and walks all the way down to his kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge. As soon as he cracks it open, I hear a faint voice in the background.
“Let’s try not to stay drunk and completely pathetic this entire break, yeah?”
My stomach drops.
Mason’s face doesn’t change much. But his eyes do. Something goes hard behind them.
He mumbles under his breath, “I wouldn’t need to if you weren’t around.”
He doesn’t give him any real response, though, just walks back upstairs and then out onto a balcony that looks like it’s attached to his bedroom.
“Geez, Mason. Your room alone is probably bigger than my whole house.”
He shakes his head, laughing, and then tips back his beer before setting it on the ledge and resting his arms there, holding out the phone to look at me.
“Yeah, well, I can guarantee it’s a lot emptier than yours, so.”
I hate the sadness behind those words, but before I can say anything else, he smiles and puts the happy mask back on. “So, how’s your break been so far?”
“Um, fine, I guess. It’s been good.”
“Fine?” He gives me a silent look that says, ‘Don’t lie to me.’
“Okay…it’s been…kinda boring, honestly.”
“Why boring?”
“Well, you know Lydia didn’t come home with me, and Tyler’s been so busy that I’ve only seen him a couple of times—”
“Busy?” he echoes. “Busy doing what?”
I wave him off, throwing on a smile. “Just with a bunch of friends and family pulling him in different directions.”
“How could anyone be too busy for you? He does know you’re his girlfriend, right?”
I let out a little laugh. “Yes, Mason. He’s just trying to please everyone while he’s back; that’s all.”
“Everyone but you, apparently.”
Funny, I said the same thing.
“It’s not like that. He said he’ll make it up to me before break is over.”
“He better,” Mason says, seriously.
Before I can respond, two little bodies charge back into Mason’s room.
“MASONNN!” they yell again.
“COME ONNN!” the other one screams.
Mason turns, smiling despite himself. “Alright, alright. Y’all are so impatient.”
He looks back at me.
“Duty calls,” he says, giving me a little salute.
I laugh. “Go. Before they riot.”
He nods, still smiling, and his voice gets softer. “Thanks, Simone,” he says. “For…making my day just a little better.”
My chest warms. “Any time, Mase.”
He gives me one last grin, then flips the camera, so I see the boys holding on to each of his legs.
“Tell Simone bye.”
“Bye!” they scream.
“Bye, boys!”
Then he flips the camera back to himself and chugs the rest of his beer. “Bye, pretty girl.”
“Bye, Mase.”
The call ends, and the room feels too quiet now.
I can’t help but wish I were around Mason’s chaos right now. His brothers are so sweet. They’re crazier little versions of him.
It stirs this longing inside me. I mean, I love kids.
I’ve always known I wanted a big family.
Being the only child made me want a lot of kids.
But, with a law degree, and law school, and a future career…
I’ve always wondered if I’d be able to make that happen realistically.
Or if it’s just not in my cards like it wasn’t for my mom.
My phone vibrating pulls me from my thoughts. I reach for it, and it lights up with a text from Tyler.
Tyler: I’m sorry I had to dip tonight. Can I make it up to you tomorrow with that ice skating?
I smile and turn to lie on my back on the bed, holding my phone up to text back.
Simone: I’d love that
Tyler: Love you
Simone: I love you too
I press my phone to my chest and smile.
Maybe this break can still turn around.