Chapter 14 #2
“I am not.” I laugh softly. “You can tell that to my body. I sure as heck feel old right now.” That gets a low sound out of him that might be a laugh.
“But yeah. I want kids. More than one, probably. I was an only child growing up, and I hated it. My parents didn’t make huge amounts of money, so they decided that they would rather give one kid a good chance at life and an education than to have more than one.
I used to make up imaginary brothers and sisters when I was little. Pathetic, right?”
“Not pathetic at all. I often wished I was an only child. It isn’t easy growing up with five sisters.”
I laugh. “I’ll bet.” I sigh. “I want a big, loud, messy family. The kind where you can’t hear yourself think at dinner because everyone’s talking over everyone else.” I smile into the dark. “I just need to find the right person and get going ASAP.” I laugh, but it comes out sounding a little sad.
“What about Flint? I thought you guys were going to start dating. I thought you liked him.”
“I do like him.” I nod a few times.
“Has he asked you out?” Magma adds.
“Not officially.” I pick at the edge of the guava in my hand. “We were going to get coffee. We talked about it before everything went to hell. Now I’m not so sure it will ever happen.”
“He likes you,” Magma says. “He told me as much, after you came by Security Central that day. Said he’d be interested in exploring it further. I’m sure he will, once we’re back and the dust settles.”
“That would be really nice.” The words come out a little flat. “It really is. I look forward to it.” I inject enthusiasm into them.
I thought I’d be more excited at the prospect, but I’m not. I think it’s just everything that’s going on. This whole situation. It’s hard to think about coffee dates when a few hours ago I was running for my life. I still am.
“He was quite badly injured trying to save you so—”
I gasp. “Oh shit! It never crossed my mind. Oh no! The poor guy. Was he okay? Was he going to be fine? Why didn’t I ask you?”
“Relax, Carla. You’ve been through a rough time. He had a broken leg and a gash or two, but—”
I gasp again, my eyes filling with tears. “That’s terrible. I’m a terrible person.” I mean it.
“You are not.” Magma sounds amused again. “By now his leg will be mending, and those wounds will be healed up. I’m sure he’s worried sick about you. You’re out here fighting for your life. It’s hard to think about anything other than that. Don’t feel bad.”
“I guess you’re right.”
I do feel bad. I’ve hardly given Flint much thought at all.
“I am right.”
I yawn and cover my mouth. “Sorry. I’m so tired I could fall asleep sitting up.”
“We should finish eating, then get some rest. Tomorrow is going to be rough going. We need to cover some serious ground.” I hear him moving, gathering things up.
I make a noise of agreement.
“I need to get rid of any evidence that we were here. If we leave food scraps anywhere near where we’re sleeping, it could draw unsavories.
” He’s already moving away, his footsteps fading into the trees.
“Give me a minute. I’m going to bury everything a good distance from here, and then I’ll help you get into our hiding spot. ”
I take the opportunity to go to the toilet behind a nearby tree, feeling my way.
Then I carefully walk back to the log. The jungle presses in around me again, but it doesn’t feel quite as frightening as it did before. Maybe it’s the food. Maybe it’s just knowing Magma is close by, even if I can’t see him.
A few minutes later, he’s back, his footsteps quiet.
“Okay. Let’s get you back in there. I’ll be right behind you.”
I crawl toward the base of the tree and find the opening by feel, sliding into the hollow the same way I did before. I squeeze up to the side as much as I can, trying to give him room.
I shuffle forward until my knees hit the back wall of the hollow, and then he’s crawling in after me, and the space that already felt small somehow gets smaller.
There’s a scrape of wood and leaves as he drags the brush back across the gap behind him, sealing us into total darkness again, and then there’s nowhere left for either of us to go.
“This is tight,” I whisper.
“There’s room. We just have to… Here…” His hand finds my shoulder in the dark, guiding me. “Turn around. Face away from the entrance.”
I do, and immediately his arm comes around me, pulling me back against him because there’s nowhere else for either of us to put our limbs.
My back ends up pressed flush to his chest, his other arm slides underneath me, and somehow, in all of that shifting and adjusting, my head ends up tucked against him, my cheek resting just below his collarbone.
I can feel every inch of him against my back.
He’s so big it’s almost comical. He smells like the outdoors after rain, with something underneath that, something smoky and a little spiced.
All things considered, he smells really good.
His chest rises and falls slowly behind me in a steady rhythm.
The muscle of his arm where it rests over my waist is hard and warm.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice low near the top of my head.
“Yeah.” I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
“I’m sorry it’s so tight. It’s just that—”
“It’s fine. I’m fine.”
“Try to sleep. We’re safe.”
“Okay.”
I lie there in the dark, listening to his heartbeat against my ear, slow and even, and I think there’s no way I’m falling asleep like this. Not after everything I’ve been through and everything still to come. My brain is going to keep me up all night, running through all of it; I just know it.
It doesn’t take long for me to drift off.