Chapter 40
Carla
I take the stairs instead of the elevator, and by the time I hit the second-floor landing, my thighs are burning in a way that almost feels good. I’m going to nail this fitness thing. Watch me!
And I also feel utterly like crap.
How is it possible to feel both great and like utter shit?
I am living proof. My body is finally cooperating after weeks of feeling flat and heavy and slow, like I was wading through syrup just to get through a normal day, and the rest of me is stuck on an endless loop that goes nowhere good because of him.
Magma and his white T-shirt. Magma who is taken.
Why?
Whhhyyyyy?
I push through the door into the hallway and try to shove the thought somewhere it can’t reach me.
It’s a new week and a new day.
Anything is possible.
Thing is, I am so excited to watch my best friend marry the man she loves. And I’m walking her down the aisle.
It’s going to be wonderful, and it’s also going to be the longest dang day of my life, because Magma will be there too. His girlfriend at his side.
Even worse, I saw the layout, and I’m at the same table as them.
It’s going to be pure torture.
It’s also for the best.
It’ll be like pulling off a Band-Aid, scab and all.
It’ll hurt like hell, but then I’ll get over it…
I hope. A whole day of watching him be unavailable to me in every possible way is exactly the reality check I need.
The slap in the face. The thing that finally gets through to the part of me that has feelings for him.
How? I hardly know him. We spent a few short days together. Sure, we had great sex, but I can’t be in love with him. I just can’t.
Move on, Carla.
I walk out into the hallway that leads to admin, feeling slightly short of breath.
“Hey, Carla,” the new guard says as I reach him.
“Hi.” I keep walking.
“You look lovely today,” he tells me.
“Thanks.”
Wait just a minute!
I think he tells me that every morning. Is he just being nice?
I turn around.
He smiles as soon as I do, and there’s a faint flush working up into his cheeks now that I’m facing him instead of walking past.
Actually, he’s pretty cute. I’ve never really looked at him before now.
He’s tall and built in the way that comes standard with most shifters. He’s got blond hair and really nice blue eyes.
Back in the day, I would have noticed the second he walked into the hospital.
I need to get back on track.
“How are you doing today?” he asks.
“I’m good. Remind me of your name? I’m sorry, it’s slipped my mind.”
He taps the badge on his chest. “It’s Malachite.”
“Good to meet you.”
“Actually, we already met. We—”
“What are you doing on Saturday night, Malachite?”
Just do it, already!
His eyebrows go up. “Nothing. I mean, I could move a few things around, and I could be available.”
I smile. He’s sweet. It’s a shame I’m not looking.
Scratch that. I am looking. I need to be looking. That’s the whole point.
“Do you want to come to a wedding with me?”
“A date?” He lifts his brows again, higher this time.
“Yep. Do you think you’d be able to move those things around in time?”
“I think so.” He smiles wider.
“Do you own a suit?”
He glances down at himself. He’s wearing one right now; it’s dark gray and fitted, with a tie to match.
I laugh. “Right.”
He smiles properly then, and yeah, he really is cute. “I have a few, actually. I have a tux too, if you’d prefer.”
“A suit’s great. A tux might be overkill.”
“We wouldn’t want that.” He shakes his head. “I’m glad you finally noticed me looking at you. You’re very pretty, Carla.”
I smile, because what else am I supposed to do? “Thanks.”
“And you’re nice.”
Crap. I think he actually likes me.
“This would just be a date, Malachite. I can’t promise anything beyond that.”
“What, like a second date, or that you’d let me take you home after this one?”
“Either of those things.” I widen my eyes at him. “I want to be upfront about it.”
“Noted.” A pause, and then a slow grin spreads across his face. “But you should know I’ll be vying for both.”
I laugh. “Good to know. I’m maid of honor, so don’t worry about picking me up or anything; I’ll already be with the bride for most of the day. You could just meet me at the venue, if that’s easier. Honestly, you don’t even have to come to the ceremony part if it’s not your thing.”
“I don’t mind the ceremony. I like Ridge, and Dr. Keller’s a good boss. It’d be an honor, actually. I assume it would be to their wedding?”
I nod. “Yes, that’s right. I’ll see you there, then. It starts at three. I’ll send you the details.”
“You don’t have my number.”
I pull out my phone. He rattles it off, and I type it in, hit send on a quick message before I can second-guess any part of this. His phone buzzes in his pocket a second later.
“There you go,” I say. “We’re all set.”
“I’m looking forward to getting to know you better, Carla.”
I smile and turn to walk away, and the smile slips about two steps later, somewhere around the corner where he can’t see my face anymore.
Guilt is a strange thing to feel about a guy I haven’t even gone on a date with yet.
“What’s wrong with you?” Robyn is in the lobby already. She’s seen my smile fade. “You look like someone stole your puppy.”
“Very funny. I don’t have a puppy.”
“What is it, then? Did you accidentally eat an entire bar of chocolate and now you’re spiraling?”
“Ha ha ha. No.” I shake my head. “I asked Malachite to be my plus one at your wedding.”
“Did he say no?” She frowns. “That can’t be right,” she mutters to herself.
“He said yes.”
Her eyes go wide, and her whole face lights up. “That’s great! He’s such a nice guy. He’s been eyeing you since the day he started, you know. Two and a half months now.”
“Two and a half months?” I stop walking. “I thought he started a few weeks ago. Three, tops.”
“Nope. He’s been on this floor since the hangar got ripped apart. Ridge put him here for extra security.” She rolls her eyes, fond and exasperated at once. “He’s so protective. Why do you look so glum if Malachite said yes? He’s gorgeous. I figured you’d be thrilled.”
I shrug. “Because he’s so nice, Robyn. I basically warned him upfront that it’s just a date and it’s not going to turn into anything. I don’t want to lead him on.”
“You warned him?” She laughs outright. “That is not how dating works. You’re supposed to go out, have a good time, and see where it goes. You don’t preface the whole thing with a disclaimer. Poor guy.”
“I know, but—” I lift a shoulder. “I’m still off guys, I think. I’ll get back into the swing of it eventually. I don’t want to lead him on because he does like me and he is sweet.”
“Maybe Malachite is exactly what you need.”
“You know, you might be right.” I say it like I believe it, even though I don’t.
I do make myself a promise to try, though. I want to feel like myself again.
I want things to go back to how they were before Mistveil.
Before I was with him.
I’ll get there.