Chapter 43
Magma
The Seaview Hotel lobby smells like fresh flowers and salty sea air. It’s nice inside.
The female behind the reception desk smiles at me again, and I nod in her direction. I go over to the large windows that overlook a terrace restaurant and take a look at the view. Gulls fly over the ocean. It’s quite tranquil and at complete odds with the churning in my gut.
This is it.
The elevator chimes, and I glance up. The doors slide open, and Brook steps out.
She’s wearing a sexy gold dress that highlights her bronzed skin. Her dark hair is down, loose around her shoulders, and there’s gold at her ears and her throat. She’s truly beautiful. I can’t understand why I don’t feel anything.
I should.
I don’t!
She smiles at me and gives a little wave. I smile back.
Her arms are bare. Her tattoos run from her shoulder down past her elbow, swirling lines of red ink that run across her back, which looks like it might be bare.
A male near the concierge desk elbows the female next to him. Her eyes track straight to Brook’s arm.
“That’s a Red,” someone says, not quite low enough.
Brook frowns, her eyes darting in that direction.
“What the heck?” It’s a different voice. “A Red, here at the Seaview?”
I start toward her, giving the couple a glare that shuts them up.
The whispering from the other side of the lobby dies down when I glare at them as well.
Brook hasn’t slowed down. Her smile returns as I get to her.
I close the distance and kiss her cheek, my hand finding her arm.
“You look beautiful,” I tell her.
“Thank you.” She smooths a hand down her dress. “I think I might be showing a little too much skin.”
“Nonsense. You look amazing.” I offer her my arm, and she takes it.
“I’m so glad you could fetch me.” She smiles at me. I note how tall she is in those heels. She hardly has to look up.
“Me, too.”
Her back is open all the way to her ass, with just thin golden straps over her shoulders.
If I’d met her somewhere else, on some other day, I think this could have gone differently. I might have given her a second look. She’s worth it.
Brook is gracious, holding her head high as we walk past the stares still aimed our way.
I lead her out to my vehicle and open her door before she can reach for the handle herself. She slides in with a small huff of laughter, her dress sliding up her long thighs.
I still feel nothing at all. It’s irritating.
I round the hood and get in, start the engine, and the radio comes on low, one of my playlists picking up mid-song. I reach over and turn the volume down another notch before pulling out of the lot.
The drive starts out quiet.
I drum my fingers on the steering wheel.
“So.” She turns slightly in her seat, her eyes on me. “Are you okay, Magma? I’m getting this feeling that…”
“Everything’s fine.” I sigh. I had hoped to broach the subject first. I was just trying to work up the nerve.
“Because I—” She stops, restarts. “Is it because I’m a Red?”
I shake my head, glancing at her long enough to mean it. “Not at all. I like you. A lot.”
“I’m sensing a but in there somewhere.” She tips her head. “You’re going to tell me it’s you, not me. Is that it?” She laughs, but I can hear the tension.
“I was going to say that it’s me, because it is me. It’s definitely not you. You’re great, Brook.”
She groans, dropping her head back against the headrest. “There it is.” She laughs again, and some of the tension is gone this time.
“It’s not because you’re a Red. I’m honestly a little shocked at how little that bothers me, given everything…you know.” I keep my eyes on the road. “I like you, Brook. I think you’re gorgeous and funny and sweet. You’re great.”
“So what’s the problem?”
This is usually the part where I tell them about Sage. About my mate. About how I lost her and how some piece of me went into the ground along with her, and how I don’t have whatever it takes to do this again.
I glance at Brook, then back at the road.
“I think I might be in love with someone else.”
“Oh.” She blinks, head tilting back a fraction. “I did not see that coming. Why ask me, then? Why not ask her?” She shakes her head.
“Last I heard, which was not that long ago, she’s seeing someone else. She’s bringing him tonight. And I…I…”
“And you didn’t want to show up alone like an asshole.”
A short laugh gets out of me before I can stop it, and I cut it off fast. “You hit the nail right on the head.” I pull in a breath, my hands tightening on the wheel for a second. “I do like you. I hoped that when I saw you today, I’d… That…”
Fuck.
“That you’d feel something for me. That you’d find me attractive?”
“Flint’s right.” I shake my head at myself. “I am a pussy, because you’re awesome. I do find you attractive but...” I sigh again. “Do you get where I’m coming from?”
“Of course I do.” She nods a few times.
“I hoped you’d arrive and I’d feel it. I really did, because you’re lovely, Brook. Except…”
“You can’t stop thinking about her.”
I shake my head. “Nope. I saw her last weekend and my dragon about lost his mind. I look at her, and everything’s instantly better.
Except it isn’t better, because a second later, I remember I let her go.
” I exhale through my nose. “That’s not even true.
You can’t let go of someone who was never yours to begin with.
It’s complicated. I can’t really get into all of it. ”
“Is she serious about this other male?”
“I don’t know. All I know is that it’s new, so maybe not.” I shrug one shoulder. “She’s a little young for me, anyway.”
Brook gives me a long look, head angled, eyes narrowed in a way that’s edging toward amused.
“What?” I ask.
“What’s too old?”
“I’m almost fourteen years her senior. That’s ancient. Fuck! It would be cradle-snatching.”
She starts laughing. “Ancient? Really? Does she think you’re ancient?”
“She says she doesn’t. She told me that I don’t look my age, and I know that she is…was attracted to me.”
“I’m sure she is attracted to you, Magma. You’re a good-looking, excellent specimen of a male. How old do you think I am?”
I shrug. “Is this a loaded question?” I laugh. “I don’t know. I must say, I never really thought about it.”
“Why not? And before you answer, I’m twenty-seven.”
I give her a look. Shit! She’s younger than Carla.
“You say you never gave it any thought when it came to me, but you hoped to feel attracted to me?” she asks.
“Again, is this a loaded question?” I check, lifting my brows.
“Not at all.” She shakes her head. “I think you’re making excuses,” she adds. “That’s the point I’m trying to make.”
“Not you, too.”
“What?” She smiles, all teeth.
“Flint’s been giving me so much shit. Ridge, too, although less lately because he’s been too busy falling in love and planning a wedding. Anyway. Now you’re piling on as well.”
“I guess I am.” She settles back. “I’m going to tell you how I see it.”
We pull into the chapel’s lot. I park, but neither of us reaches for the door.
“Okay.” I turn toward her. “I’m all ears.”
“I don’t know your reasons, but you’re holding back and making excuses even though you are in love with this female.
If you ask me, you’re scared. The usual culprit is fear.
You’re scared of taking the next step with her, so you come up with reasons why not to go after her.
She’s too young, she’s seeing someone else, she’s not interested… Do you get the pattern?”
“I guess I do…and maybe you’re right.”
“I’m pretty sure I am. This is all quite easy to solve.”
“How?” I ask like an idiot.
“How about having an actual conversation with her? Tell her how you feel. Ask her how she feels. It doesn’t sound like you’ve done that part yet. You’ve been avoiding it out of fear.”
I look down at my lap. “I guess I haven’t spoken to her. Maybe I’m making too much of this. I only spent a few days with her.”
“You’re making excuses again. You’re talking yourself out of it.”
“Holy shit! You’re right.” I look over at Brook, and she’s smiling.
She turns serious and touches the side of my arm. “Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Find out what she thinks instead of guessing. You might be surprised.”
I shake my head. “It’s too late. She’s seeing that other male.”
“Is that the reality, or is that the fear talking? You won’t know until you actually go and find out.”
I’m nodding before she’s even finished. “You’re right. I think you might be onto something.” I look over at her properly. “I’m adding intuitive and smart to the list of attributes. You’re a find, Brook. I wish things could be different.”
She smiles, soft around the edges.
I narrow my eyes at her. “Why are you single? I hear Mistveil is crawling with unmated males. That you guys are at a ratio of fifteen to one, or something crazy like that.”
She shrugs, looking out the windshield instead of at me. “I guess I haven’t found the right male yet.”
“Really?” I lift a brow. “Might be worth taking a closer look at that. Take some of your own advice about making excuses and running scared.”
“I’m not scared of commitment.” She gives a small laugh, higher than the rest of them, and her smile doesn’t quite make it all the way up to her eyes.
“You should still give it some thought. It’s ultimately for you to decide. You have an island full of males and yet you’re interested in someone who is miles away and unavailable.”
She nods. “I didn’t realize you were unavailable.”
“Or maybe you did, but you’ve been lying to yourself.” I hold up my hands. “Either way, only you will know for sure. Should we head in?” I offer. “Let’s forget all the bullshit, and just enjoy the night.”
“That sounds great.”
“Wait right there.” I’m already pushing my door open. I jog around the hood and pull hers open before she can do it herself. “I’m glad you came, Brook.”
“Me, too.” She takes my arm. “And if you need me to make her a little jealous, I won’t mind at all.” She winks at me.
“I doubt that will be necessary.” I laugh. We head to the chapel where Flint and Ridge are standing, greeting the first of the guests.