Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
HAYDEN
“Ro-Ro!” Jemmy squeals the second I step through the front door with Rowan.
Presley’s head snaps up from where she’s sitting on the floor beside him. For half a second, she freezes. Then she jumps to her feet and darts across the room.
Rowan barely has time to brace herself before Presley wraps her arms around her middle, holding tight.
“I missed you, too, sweet girl,” Rowan says softly, kissing the top of Presley’s head like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
My chest immediately tightens at the sight of them together.
I’ve never seen Presley cling to anyone like this. Not my sister. Not my mom. Not even me. I still struggle to wrap my head around the fact that this woman was a complete stranger mere days ago.
But in that short time, she’s ingrained herself into our lives to the point that my kids can’t imagine life without her.
How is that possible?
Maybe that’s just who Rowan is, easily able to draw people to her.
Hell, she drew me in, too, despite fighting it.
I’m still fighting it.
Every morning in the shower.
And sometimes at night, too.
Across the room, I catch my mother’s eye.
She doesn’t say a word, but the look she gives me is unmistakable.
I told you so.
I heave a sigh and look away.
She’s right. I know she is. Watching Presley melt into Rowan like this makes it impossible to deny.
Rowan is absolutely in my kids’ best interests.
Even if I’m starting to suspect she might not be in mine, simply because I can’t stop thinking about her.
The way she moves through my house like she belongs here.
The way my heart speeds up the second she walks into a room.
The way my thoughts keep circling back to her, whether I want them to or not.
Maybe that’s why I fired her earlier today.
Not because she messed up, but because she makes me feel things I’m not ready to feel.
Things I don’t want to feel.
“Ro-Ro!” Jemmy calls again, toddling toward her with all the coordination of a baby giraffe.
Rowan laughs, and the sound fills the house, bright and warm. She gently untangles from Presley and crouches to scoop up Jemmy.
“Hey, bud.”
He roars, throwing his head back dramatically.
“That’s right,” she says, grinning. “We can play dinosaur all you want. But right now, why don’t we play something your sister wants to. Okay?”
“K,” Jemmy agrees immediately.
She sets him down, and he bolts toward the living room, pointing at the bin of blocks. “Build house!”
Rowan glances at Presley for her approval.
Presley smiles and gives a small nod. Then she grabs Rowan’s hand and tugs her across the room.
They all drop to the floor together, blocks scattering across the rug as Presley dumps them out. Rowan doesn’t take over. She doesn’t direct. She takes her cue from the kids. She lets Jemmy stack crooked towers. Lets Presley carefully reinforce them. Laughs when it all collapses.
My mom rises from the couch and crosses the room, giving Rowan’s shoulder a squeeze. They share a brief look before my mom heads toward me.
Neither one of us says anything for several moments. We simply watch Rowan with Jemmy and Presley, another wave of giggles and laughter erupting when their next attempt falls to the floor yet again. But that doesn’t deter them from starting over again.
“She looks so happy,” Mom muses.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Rowan not happy,” I reply automatically.
My mom raises a brow. “I was talking about Presley.”
“Oh.” I clear my throat. “Right.”
“But I find it interesting you thought of Rowan first.”
“I didn’t. I just…” I trail off.
“Whatever you say,” she teases with a wink. “Do you need anything else?”
“The crisis has been averted for now.”
“Then I’m going to head home.” She grabs her purse. “Try not to fire your nanny again.”
My eyes float to Rowan of their own accord. “I’m pretty sure I learned that lesson.”
“Good. Because she’s good for you.”
“I see that now. I can’t remember the last time Presley’s played with Jemmy like this.”
Mom shakes her head. “I’m not talking about the kids, Hayden. Although she’s definitely amazing with them.” She narrows her gaze on me. “She’s good for you, too. You’ve seemed…lighter. Happier.”
“I’m not sure about that. Not sure I can be happy,” I admit.
“Why do you think that?”
I part my lips, about to respond, but Mom holds up her hand, cutting me off before I can utter a single syllable.
“I know what you’re going to say. That you can’t be happy because of Cora. Because it’s only been a year.”
I swallow hard. I can’t deny she’s right.
It’s one of the reasons I keep cursing myself for the things Rowan makes me feel. Not just because she’s technically my employee. But because I feel like I’m dishonoring Cora’s memory by looking at Rowan the way I have been.
Hell, by looking at any woman.
But I haven’t looked at any other women.
Only Rowan.
“I’ve been where you are, Hayden,” Mom continues. “There was a part of me that thought I would dishonor your father’s memory if I felt even a hint of happiness after losing him. But then I realized something.”
“What’s that?”
A nostalgic gleam fills her eyes. “He would have been livid if he learned I was moping around. He’d want me to live life to its fullest. He’d want me to laugh again. Maybe even love again.”
I open my mouth to argue, but she cuts me off once more.
“I’m not saying you need to forget Cora. She’s the mother of your children. A woman you loved for years. She’ll always have a piece of your heart. But you can allow yourself to be happy. Okay?”
She may not come right out and say it, but I know what she’s getting at.
That it’s time for me to move on and find someone who makes me happy.
I’m not sure I’m ready for that.
Not sure I’ll ever be ready for that.
But I’m not about to tell my mom that.
“Okay.” I place a soft kiss on her cheek. “Thanks again. For everything.”
“I’m always here for you.”
I walk her to the door, giving her one last hug, then head back inside to watch my kids.
At least, that’s what I tell myself.
In reality, I can’t stop looking at Rowan.
At her wide smile.
The way she involves both Jemmy and Presley in their project.
The way her laughter rings through the air.
The way she makes these four walls feel like a home, instead of a place I live.
I pad toward them, keeping my steps soft so as not to interrupt Rowan and the kids. But Rowan senses my presence anyway, shifting her eyes to mine.
“I should probably start dinner.” She starts to push to her feet.
“You don’t have to,” I say quickly. “I’ll order pizza.”
Jemmy cheers. Presley’s eyes light up.
“I don’t mind cooking,” Rowan states.
“I appreciate that, but it’s been a…trying day. You should take some time to relax.”
“If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.”
“Oh. Okay.”
She looks back at Jemmy and Presley, who both wear frowns.
“It’s okay, you two. I’ll be back tomorrow morning. This is your family time.”
She tousles Jemmy’s hair, and he giggles before returning his attention to his blocks. Then she gives Presley a hug, promising to cook together tomorrow night before pulling herself to her full height.
She heads to the foyer to grab her suitcase, but I’m there in a heartbeat.
“I’ll carry that for you.”
“It’s okay. I’ve got it. See you tomorrow.” She continues toward the hallway leading to the in-law suite.
“Rowan,” I call out, her name leaving my mouth before I can stop it.
She pauses, glancing over her shoulder at me.
I have no idea what I even want to say. It’s almost like some other force took over, forcing me to stop her.
Maybe because deep down, I don’t want her to leave yet.
“Do you… Do you want to join us?”
She doesn’t say anything right away. Just stares at me.
I can’t remember the last time I was this on edge around a member of the opposite sex. It was probably when I asked out Cora. But even back then, I didn’t feel this unsettled.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” I add quickly, a bout of nerves overtaking me. “I just thought—”
“Do you mind if I have pizza with you guys?” Rowan asks, directing her question at Jemmy and Presley.
Not surprisingly, both their faces light up with enthusiasm.
“I’d like that,” she says, returning her gaze to mine. “Just give me a minute to unpack.”
“I’ll order the pizza. Do you have any preference?”
“I’m not picky. Whatever you like is fine with me.”
“Okay.”
As she walks away, I have to force myself to look somewhere other than her ass.
But I fail miserably.