Chapter 42
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
HAYDEN
Something tickles my nose.
Soft. Warm. Faintly floral.
For half a second, I don’t know why my chest feels heavier than usual. Then I look down.
Rowan is curled against me, her cheek resting over my heart, her hair spilled across my shoulder and collarbone.
She’s still here.
She didn’t slip out before dawn.
She didn’t retreat to her own room.
A contented sigh leaves me as I slide my arm more securely around her and pull her closer.
She stirs slightly, her fingers tracing gentle circles on my chest.
“You’re still here,” I murmur, my voice rough with sleep.
“You asked me to stay.” She cranes her head back to meet my eyes. “So I stayed.”
“I’m so glad you did.” I touch my mouth to hers, coaxing her lips to part. She opens for me, and I gently nudge her onto her back, settling between her legs. “Do you know the best part about waking up beside you?”
“What’s that?” She chews on her bottom lip.
“That I get to do this.” I slide into her, and her body eagerly accepts me.
“And I thought you were going to say because then you didn’t have to walk through the house with a raging hard on.”
I chuckle as I bring my lips back to hers. “That, too. But I like this, Rowan.” I circle my hips against her, burying my head in the crook of her neck. “I really like waking up to this.”
She sighs, running her fingers up and down my back.
“I really like waking up to this, too.”
“He’s in a mood,” Margaret warns when I step inside the office later that morning.
This is the last place I want to be today. But the promise of spending the night with Rowan in my arms is enough to make even the worst day seem survivable.
“I figured,” I respond, not even needing to ask who she’s talking about.
I already know.
And I know why, too. Because I skipped the memorial, then ignored all of Robert’s calls. I didn’t want anything to ruin my time with my kids.
Not anymore.
“Wish me luck,” I tell Margaret.
“You might need more than luck this time.”
I laugh under my breath as I continue down the hallway, my head still held high.
When I enter my office, I’m not surprised to find Robert sitting behind my desk.
“What the hell were you thinking?” he grits out, his jaw tight with barely controlled anger.
I calmly turn around and close the door. Then I face him. “I assume this is about yesterday.”
“You humiliated this family,” he snaps, jumping to his feet and stalking toward me.
“Do you have any idea what people were saying? Missing your wife’s birthday memorial to…
what? Galivant around town like it’s a cause for celebration?
People reported seeing you mini golfing.
And at the trampoline park. And the arcade. ”
“I was spending the day with my kids. Celebrating Cora’s life in a way that wasn’t centered on her death.”
“So is that it? You’re just going to blow off your responsibilities now so you can spend time with that nanny of yours? What will people think?”
“I don’t give a fuck what people think.”
He stiffens, his eyes flashing with anger, his face becoming even redder.
“I’ve let you dictate how I grieve for over a year,” I continue. “You can mourn however you need to. But from now on, I’m going to remember Cora the way I choose.”
He leans into me, spittle forming in the corners of his mouth. “You’re forgetting what’s important.”
“No,” I say quietly, at complete odds with his demeanor. “I’m remembering.”
I move past him and open the top drawer of my desk, pulling out the folded paper I’ve been hiding for days. I hand it to him.
“What is this?” he barks out as he hastily unfolds it. His expression immediately darkens.
“I accepted a position as Head of Emergency Medicine at St. Andrew’s,” I explain. “This is my two weeks’ notice.”
Silence floods the room, and I can physically feel his temperature rising.
I had a feeling he’d react this way. It’s one of the reasons I haven’t told him until now. I was offered the position earlier in the month, and they gave me a few weeks to think about it.
Even when I wrote this resignation letter, I wasn’t sure if it would ever see the light of day. Thought it might sit in that top drawer for the rest of my life.
This weekend changed that.
“You can’t be serious,” he scoffs.
“I’ve never been more serious.”
“What about Cora?”
“What about her?”
“This is a family medical practice. Considering you’re the reason she’s not here to continue the family legacy, it falls to you.”
“Cora didn’t want any part of this legacy either. Why do you think she never left Chicago?”
“You,” he stammers. “She—”
“She would want me to be happy,” I cut in. “Not chained to something that makes me miserable out of obligation.”
“This is all her doing, isn’t it?” he says coldly, his lip curling. “That nanny.”
My spine stiffens protectively.
“I’ve heard the rumors,” he continues. “The looks. The way you two hover around each other in public. So is that it? Are you screwing her?”
“It’s none of your business.”
“I warned you she wasn’t a good choice when you hired her.”
“Rowan’s the best nanny I’ve ever met. The best person I’ve ever met.
She’s gotten Presley to laugh again. To smile again.
And me…” I trail off, collecting my thoughts.
“Well, she’s helped me realize how important living in the present is.
Life is short. I don’t want to spend whatever time I have left miserable.
And working here with you? I’ve never been so damn miserable.
I’m done living this way. Done choosing things I think I have to.
Instead, I’m choosing things that make me happy. ”
My words don’t shake.
Don’t waver.
For the first time in a long while, I feel like I’m finally on the right path.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have patients to see.”
I don’t wait for him to dismiss me. I walk out of my office and do what I’ve always loved doing.
Take care of people.