Chapter 16 Jamaica #2
“Why do you think the worst of my brother, when all he ever sees in you is the best?”
“I don’t.”
“Yes, you do. Kody was out there bad, just as Freedom, but you married him and from what I know, you’re doing alright for a teen mama.”
“Kody had ambitions about college.”
“Freedom had singing. Your point?”
“He would’ve done whatever it took to take care of me and Jamie. I didn’t want to worry about him.”
“Do you even know what he’s been through?
” He shook his head. “The sacrifices he made for me, what he did for you. That man…excuse me, boy, because that’s what he was at the time, swept hair at the barbershop, bagged groceries, cut grass, and did whatever odd job he could do to pay for a limo, a tux, and dinner at Sullivan’s steakhouse for your prom.
To pay for what I needed. He quit the easy money route and worked his ass off. He changed for you.”
“But…but he broke…into those people…” I stammered, trying to process Peace’s words and the memory of that day after, when Freedom said sadly that it was his prom, too.
“Everything, okay?” Freedom’s stern voice traveled through the air, letting us know that if he could hear us, Jamie could too.
“Yes,” I answered for both of us.
Peace suddenly stood, pulled off his shirt, and dove into the pool.
Freedom tossed a questioning look at Jamie, and he happily nodded. Soon, the three men were in the pool, yelling at me to join in. “Y’all have fun. Think I need to turn in. I’m tired.”
“Don’t go to sleep, Mama.”
“We’re supposed to watch scary movies in the theatre.” Freedom added.
“Of course, he has a theatre,” I muttered under my breath, though I announced, “What if I go hide out there and nap, and you can wake me up when you come in from the pool?”
Jamie smiled in approval.
In my sleep, I could hear them talking and laughing at the screen. Then silence. I cuddled deeper into the sofa when he whispered near my ear, “Let me help you get to bed.”
“Nope,” I mumbled. “Not getting me in trouble.”
Then I ascended into his arms, and I screamed.
He kissed me to shut me up and lifted his head when I melted into him. “I didn’t want you to wake them.”
I looked into his handsome face as he carried me. “I can walk now. I’m awake.”
“Shh…”
Sighing deeply, I held on to him until he brought me to my assigned guest room, turned on the light, and laid me down on the bed.
Freedom closed the door and glanced around the room. “What are you going to sleep in? You didn’t bring a bag.”
“I didn’t know I was coming, remember? I bought a sweatshirt and leggings at the airport. I’m good.”
“What about tonight?”
I sat up. “You just want me to say that I plan to sleep in the nude.”
Freedom growled, “What are you doing to me?”
“Nothing. So good night.” I waved at him. Thankful that he’d don a t-shirt after his swim. His taut chest had become my aphrodisiac.
He held onto one of the mahogany posts on the bed. “I swear I’m not trying to throw shade at Kody, but I know him. He’s not comfortable with anything other than heterosexuality. How is he around Jamie?”
I flopped back on the bed. “This is all too much. All this talking and figuring out shit. It’s been two weeks since you came back into my life.
I can’t think straight when you’re around, and when I’m with you, I feel like Jamaica, and when I’m with Kody, it’s wifey and Mommy.
Now, I find out my son has been going to therapy behind my back to discuss his sexuality.
Don’t get me wrong, I suspected it was possible because he never talked about girls, nor did he say anything about boys.
He doesn’t have any feminine ways, but he doesn’t really do guy things beyond video games.
Now, you’re on me about Kody being homophobic, and my son telling me that if he’d met you sooner, he could’ve been more comfortable in his skin.
Then stuff about the past keeps coming up, and you sooo fucking fine I just want to be up under you all the time. And I’m exhausted.”
“Baby…baby, chill. We can talk another time.” He tugged on my foot.
“Please don’t call me that, like you have the right.”
“I do have the right. Now, I’ll respect your ring around others.
” He pulled me lower on the bed by my feet, and the bed sank as he hovered over me.
“When it’s just you and me, I don’t care about this ring.
If you want to fuck, we fuck. If you want to talk, we talk.
You’re my baby, and I’m yours. We love each other, and that shit ain’t going nowhere.
You can’t tell me that tonight, we didn’t feel right, that Jamie didn’t feel right with me and with us.
You and Peace act like no time has passed. You are my family.”
I pleaded with him. “I can’t keep cheating on Kody. I told him about us.”
“I know.” I scoffed, “He told me he would kill me if I fucked you again.”
Worry lines etched in her forehead. “You can’t take what he said lightly. People get killed all the time because of affairs.”
“I’m not scared of Kody, and he won’t hurt me anyway.” He lowered his head to punctuate his words with kisses on my face and neck. “He. Don’t. Love. You. Like. I. Do.”
I giggled at his antics despite my best intentions not to.
Freedom’s lips formed a disapproving line. “He doesn’t love my son the way he should, either.”
“It’s been hours, Free. You’ve known Jamie for hours. You can’t judge Kody.”
“My son is in therapy because he feels like he can’t be himself around Kody or his granddad. He told me that while we were playing the guitar together.”
“He told you that?” Guilt flamed my face.
My son couldn’t tell me something he easily told Freedom.
My God, my son had been starving for the attention of a man who allowed him to just be.
He sensed it in Peace and Freedom. What would my son have been like if these two men had been in his life all along?
“Yeah. I think he and I should spend more time together. He loves music, and I can teach him instruments. You don’t have to make a decision now.
But I want him to come on tour with me this summer.
Maybe just to Paris and London. Peace could join in or even you if you want someone else to be with him. ”
I rolled from underneath him and curled into a fetal position. Too much. Too much.
“Okay. I can take a hint.” He resignedly kissed my cheek and eased out of the bed. “See you in the morning.”
The softness and warmth of a blanket covered me, and he turned the light off and left the room just as the tears fell.