Chapter 22 – Morgan
MORGAN
Though it had only been sex for her, it was so much more for me. I missed her texts, her smile when she saw me, her hand on my leg when we sat in the booth at the club, and I missed the sex.
For the two months after our breakup, whenever I hadn’t had Charlie, I’d been out with the boys, drinking until late, getting up early for work, spending time with my son, then repeat.
She hadn’t been around when Dad and I had been finishing up working on the bar; Jonathan had been letting us in.
I had hoped to get a glimpse of her, but nothing.
When I turned up at her house on the first day to work on her library it was so awkward, I didn’t know what I was going to say to her.
“Hey, come in.” She stepped back for me to move past her.
I inhaled her sweet perfume; it reminded me of the Parma Violet sweets. I looked her up and down; she was wearing a black suit with a hot pink shirt and matching pink heels. She looked good and my chest hurt.
“How have you been?” I asked moving past her, then turning to her as she closed the door.
I didn’t realise just how close we were until she turned back to me. If I dipped my head, I could have kissed her. I think she realised it too, because she looked up at me with wide eyes, biting that damn lip again.
“I, uh, it’s been okay. You?”
She was sandwiched between me and the door, and I wanted to wrap my arms around her and kiss her. When she looked down and wrapped her arms around her body, I knew that would have been the wrong move.
“Yeah, busy with Charlie and work, you know.” I stepped back and to the side to allow her to pass.
“Yeah. I’ll show you to the room.” She breezed past me and up the hallway, leaving her sweet perfume trailing behind her.
“Fuck me,” I said under my breath as I followed her.
The room she had picked for the library was perfect, just the right amount of space and plenty of natural light.
“You know where the bathroom and kitchen are. Help yourself to anything you want. I have to go out.” She moved to the far end of the room to open the window and began moving back towards me.
“Anything I want, right?” I leant against the wall and folded my arms over my chest and felt a satisfied pull in my chest when I saw her steps falter at my words.
But she recovered quickly, clearing her throat, and smiling tightly at me. “Of course. Thanks for this, Morgan.” She placed a hand on my forearm and squeezed it.
I met her gaze, and my heart lurched. Her eyes were glassy, and I knew she was still hurting. “Andie,” I said softly and made a move to hold her.
“No, uh, I have a meeting to get to in the city. See you later.” She swallowed hard and quickly moved out of the room, pulling the door closed behind her.
“Fuck,” I shouted, punching the door, before leaning my head up against it to calm myself.
I still wanted her; my feelings hadn’t changed. It would be so fucking hard working that close to her and not being able to touch her. As soon as I had calmed myself down enough, I got to work.
The day flew by as I put everything I had into work. I hadn’t eaten lunch. By the time I had finished for the day, Andie still hadn’t returned home. I went home and had Charlie for the rest of the evening, but I was looking forward to seeing Andie in the morning.
When I knocked the following day, it wasn’t Andie that opened the door, but her brother Jonathan. “Hey, Andie said to let you in. She’s stayed in the city.”
“Oh, okay.” I followed him to the library room, and he went back to his side.
As I worked, I kept thinking why had she stayed in the city? Was she with someone else? The thought made me angry. Though most things had been making me mad, I was angry and drinking all the time. I had lost that quiet shy good boy vibe when we broke up. I was angry and miserable all the time.
I was just loading up my tools for the night when Andie returned home.
“Oh, I didn’t know you’d still be here,” she said, placing her bag on the unit by the front door and stepping out of her pink, shiny high heels.
“Yeah, just packing up for the day. You have a good time in the city?” I placed the tools at my feet. It wasn’t lost on me that she was still wearing the same clothes as the day before.
“Yeah, it was good.” She smiled.
“I didn’t know you were staying for the night. I had a right shock when Jonathan answered the door instead of you.” I tried to smile but I didn’t think I got it quite right.
“Yeah, sorry about that. It wasn’t planned. We had so much fun and too much to drink and decided to stay for the night.” She smiled back at me but looked down and closed her eyes for a few moments.
“We?” Fuck, please let it be with the girls. I didn’t know how I would handle it if she was with someone else.
“Yeah, me and mmm,” she mumbled and started walking away quickly.
“You and who?”
I knew I had no right to be asking her, but if I didn’t then it would just play on my mind all night. I followed her through to the living area where she sat down on her cream-coloured cuddle chair.
“Me and Ben, but—”
I felt like my legs were going to give out, she was with someone else. “Ben?” I croaked. “you stayed the night with another guy?” I felt the tears build up and warmth flood through me as anger boiled up and over.
“Yes, but not like what you’re thinking.” She stood up and reached out her hand, but I stepped away.
“Yeah, then how did it go?” I demanded as I folded my arms across my body.
“Look, Morgan, we”—she gestured between the two of us—“are over. You didn’t want what I had to offer—”
“Because you didn’t offer anything!” I exploded, cutting her off.
“I don’t have to explain anything to you, not anymore. Please leave.” She shook her head slowly and sounded tired.
I wanted to argue more, but she was right. What little she had offered had not been enough for me and I had walked away from our agreement. If she had found someone else who was happy with just being a fuck buddy, then I had no say in it.
I got into my car and hit the steering wheel a few times. She had someone else, and it was all my fault.