Chapter 30 – Morgan
MORGAN
It was a week after Andie had returned from Spain, and I alternated between grief and being happier than I ever had been.
She was mine, fully, but it had broken me to see her so hurt.
We had barely left the bedroom during the week.
She was happy staying in bed, watching movies and cuddling, and I was more than happy to stay with her.
We’d had Charlie down with us for a few hours each day.
Andie said it cheered her up to see him.
I pulled her in closer, her deep breaths soothing me.
I couldn’t believe she thought she was damaged.
I vowed to spend every day showing her that, besides my son, she was the best thing to have ever happened to me.
Her phone vibrated on the table; I reached over to turn it off so it didn’t disturb her when I saw the text was from her ex.
M: I miss you. Call me.
Just three simple words, but I could feel my world falling apart around me.
Had they been talking when she was on holiday?
Was she just with me because she felt guilty for losing the baby?
He was so much better for her than I was.
He was used to the night life and her crazy schedule, had money, and could offer her way more than I could.
Maybe she would see that message, realise that she missed him too, and end things with me.
I couldn’t let that happen. I gently put her on the bed and clicked into the message, about to delete it, before realising I couldn’t do that.
It wouldn’t be right, but then I saw several more of them.
He was sorry, he missed her, still loved her, wanted to try again.
It had been going on for months, even when we were friends with benefits. Was that why she had pushed me away?
I fumed about the text messages all night, waiting for her to wake up so I could ask her about them.
“Morning handsome.” She smiled sleepily at me.
“Why didn’t you tell me your ex has been texting you?” I blurted out.
“Uh, what?” she asked, still half asleep.
“Your ex, he’s been texting you,” I ground out through my teeth.
“Aw, I know, he’s been doing it for months. Just press delete and forget about him.” She went to turn over, but I wasn’t done talking.
My breaths were becoming faster. I felt a burning sensation in my chest. I needed to know why she had been hiding it from me.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
She turned back to look at me, finally sensing there was more to the conversation than she thought. “Morgan, do you tell me every time Brooke texts you?” she yelled.
“Well, no, but she’s not saying she fucking loves me, is she? Or that she wants to get back together.” I stood up, pressing the palms of my hands into my eye sockets and trying to take deep breaths.
“I didn’t tell you because it means nothing to me. Did you also see that I haven’t replied to a single one of his messages?” she replied with a slight edge to her voice. She sighed heavily and pulled the covers up higher.
“You still should have told me. You didn’t delete them, did you? It’s like you’re keeping him hanging on in case we don’t work out or you got bored of me.” I paced around the room; my head was spinning.
“We haven’t been together, Morgan. I didn’t think I needed to tell you. Now, don’t be stupid. I’m with you.” She shook her head minutely from side to side, rolling her eyes.
“Yeah, for now, before you push me away again. You know what? Forget about getting together. You have more important people, better people to worry about who can give you more than I ever could. He’s better for you than me. It’s over, you don’t need to worry about me anymore.”
All my old insecurities had come back. I needed to get out of there, needed to walk off the anger.
“Morgan, wait,” she called after me as I ran out of the room.
I left the house and began the long walk home. On the way, I had time to think. I’d taken out my insecurities on her. That was fucking stupid. She had enough going on without me acting like a jealous twat. I decided I would give her more time to rest and would call her when I got home.
By the time I got home I was freezing. I hadn’t taken a jacket, and the autumn air was in full swing.
The house was empty when I got in, so I ran a bath to warm up.
I tried calling her while I waited for the bath to fill but couldn’t get an answer.
She was probably still sleeping. She’d had a rough couple of weeks.
I climbed into the warm water and settled in, letting the water soothe my body, but it didn’t help the turmoil inside. I lay my head back onto the bath pillow and closed my eyes. I would make it up to her. I was so fucking stupid.
I’d finally won her over, and in anger, I’d told her it was over. What the fuck was I thinking. It would serve me right if she turned around now and said she didn’t want me.
“Morgan?” I jumped at the sound of my mother’s voice outside of the bathroom door.
“Yeah?” I croaked, my throat dry.
“You’ve been in there a while. Are you okay?” Concern laced her voice.
“I’m okay. Just fell asleep.” I wiped at my face with the cool water and shook the droplets out of my hair.
“Okay, love. See you when you get out.” I heard her steps walk away from the door and the stairs creaking as she descended.
I jumped out of the cold water and towelled off quickly. Goosebumps covered my whole body and I dressed quickly. I picked up my phone and checked it. Nothing. I called her again, but it just rang out so I texted her.
M: I’m sorry. Please, let’s talk.
No reply.
M: Baby, please, I can’t lose you again.
Still no reply. I ran down the stairs to where my mother was on the sofa. She looked up and must have seen the worry on my face.
“Morgan, what’s wrong?”
“I fucked up, Mum.” I burst into tears as I sat down next to her.
“What have you done?” she asked, putting down her phone and sitting up. I went over everything that had happened. “Oh, Morgan, she would never get back with him. He hurt her so badly and was such a dick during the divorce. She loves you.”
“I know. I know. But I saw the texts and lost it. Now she won’t answer her phone… can you call her?” I asked.
“I don’t want to get involved.” She was hesitant.
“Please, I can’t lose her again,” I cried.
“Okay, I’ll try.” She nodded and picked up her phone. I watched as she rang and texted Andie. “Can’t get hold of her.” Now my mother was looking worried. “I’m calling Jonathan.” I could only nod.
“Jonathan, hi, Morgan is trying to reach Andie, but we can’t get her on the phone. We were wondering if you could check on her for us, please?” I listened to the one-sided conversation.
“Yeah, thanks…fuck.” My mother looked at me.
“Mum?” I sat up straight.
“Hang on, Jon.” She held the phone out to me.
I took it off her with shaking hands. “Hello?”
“She’s not here, mate. What happened?” Jonathan’s deep voice came down the line.
“Jon, I fucked up, man. I saw texts from her ex and told her she should be with him; I just went off on one. Told her she was hiding it from me and all that shit.”
“Listen, she would never get back with that prick. She hates him, Morgan. She left the country so as not to be around him. You need to trust her.” His tone was harsh; he gave a heavy sigh and I could hear him muttering under his breath.
“I know, I know. Tell me how to make this right, Jon.”
“Fuck me you two are awful… Right, are you still planning on asking her that thing you were telling me about? With the bracelet, and all that lovey dovey stuff?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, let me find her first. Once I do, I’ll text you. Get down here as you planned, and you can do it tonight.”
“Tonight?”
“Well, I’ve got to find her first, but yes tonight. You two need to prove to yourselves that you’re both all in. We all know you love each other, we’ve seen it for months.”
“You really think she loves me?” I asked.
“I know she does. Let me get out and find her and I’ll text you, okay? Stay by your phone.”
“I will. Thanks, Jon.” I handed the phone back to my mother and filled her in on the plan.