12. Venom
12
VENOM
T he bar is full by the time Lily strides through the exit from the sleeping quarters, dressed in black jeans, a long-sleeve shirt, her “Property of Venom” cut, and her riding boots. As I keep an eye on Brutus from the corner, I check out how many others are coming with us. Most of the old-timers are here, all but four of the newer patches curiously absent. I expected Fret, at least, to be involved in this, yet he’s not present either.
Apart from Lily, Charlie is the only other non-patch in the room.
She’s being discreet about her presence, sitting in a quiet corner near the bar. My father is in the middle of things with Brutus, but he keeps shooting strange glances my way. Every now and then, he looks at Charlie and the same sort of regret or worry invades his expression before he refocuses on his president.
Everyone seems tense, and it only ramps up when Lily’s presence becomes known.
She seems to be unaware of the unease that’s filling the atmosphere as she quickly moves over to Charlie.
I use my chin to subtly beckon Hunter over to me. He settles himself on the stool next to mine and immediately starts to read Lily’s lips for me as she questions her stepmother.
“Do you know what’s going on?” he repeats.
The look of glee Charlie offers Lily doesn’t bode well for the rest of us. Hunter translates in a monotone that matches my woman’s cautious expression as she listens to her stepmother’s explanation. “They’ve got their hands on Alex, I believe. Now some kind of meeting has been arranged.”
My fiancée squeezes her eyes shut. She balls her hands into fists, then opens and closes them three times. I’m about to head over to check that she’s okay when she embraces Charlie. “So, you’re saying that my nightmare might be over?”
“Thank fuck,” I curse after Hunter speaks her words out loud for us.
With a satisfied nod that matches the one Slash and Hunter offer my assessment of Lily’s response, Charlie speaks again. Once more, the certified genius sitting next to me fills us in. “I hope so… I’ve been trying to listen in without your dad noticing. So far, I’ve learnt that Hugh has been found as well and, ah— ” Charlie clicks her fingers. “—one of the other men in the van. You broke his nose… and it sounds like Alex’s in a pretty bad way since you shot him…”
Both women stop conversing when Brutus stalks over to them. “Are you talkin’ outta school again, Charlie?”
Hunter doesn’t need to tell us what Brutus is saying. Every person in the bar can hear his booming voice. Charlie shakes her head and ducks her chin to her chest. Lily rolls her eyes at her father.
He ignores her. “I’ve told you that club business ain’t for your ears. Do I needa send you back to Inadale since you can’t seem to work out how to keep your nose outta my business?”
Lily’s cheeks have reddened during Brutus’ diatribe toward Charlie, and her temper reaches boiling point a second after he finishes.
“Oh, grow up, Dad,” my woman snaps. “Charlie’s been by your side for almost ten years… she’s entitled to know what’s going on, just as much as I am.”
“Got no time for your mouth today, Cherub, not when—” Brutus gazes at something over Lily’s shoulder. “—we gotta head out now. You’re coming with us.”
I’m on my feet and halfway to them before Lily says, “What do you mean?”
“We have a meetin’ to attend,” Brutus tells her at a volume everyone can hear. “You’re going to have your say, and this shit with Alex will be put to rest, once and for fuckin’ all. After today, I don’t wanna hear another word about it from you—you’ll move on with your life. Forget it happened.”
“What sort of meetin’ is this?” Duke asks from behind Brutus.
“What the fuck?” I shake my head as I interject over the top of the very relevant question posed by Toker’s father. “Where’s your heart, Brutus? Alex meetin’ the reaper doesn’t give you leave to declare Lily’s sufferin’ is dead and done, too.”
Chin wobbling, Lily steps into my side. I curl my arm around her waist and she slips her hand into my back pocket. Brutus’ top lip pulls into a snarl as he scans us. “My club. My business. My daughter. My right to end this how I see fit.”
“You’re—”
“Don’t,” Lily tells me. She places her hand on my chest, patting me like I’m a rabid dog when I glare harder at her dad. “It’s obviously going to take Dad some time to come to terms with his failures, but he is right about one thing… I want to come with you today.”
“No. I don’t want you near him.”
“Back the fuck off, Venom. This’s family shit,” Brutus bellows. He takes hold of Lily’s wrist and tries to yank her out of my reach. My woman digs in her heels and stays by my side, even as her father grunts with frustration. “None of this concerns you… far as I’m concerned, you’re responsible for everythin’ that happened to my Cherub. If you hadn’t stood by with your dick in your hand, my daughter would be whole right now, not constantly lookin’ to you to keep her together.”
When Lily gasps at his harsh words, I push her behind me into Slash’s grasp and get right in Brutus’ face. The fingers of my right hand unconsciously flex, burning with the need to grab one of my guns and jam it in his vile mouth. Pulling the trigger on the fucker is looking irresistible right about now. “Say that shit again about Lily and I’ll paint the wall behind you with your arterial blood.”
“Gonna pull a gun on your president?” he asks, offering my clenched hand a pointed look. Glancing past me, he addresses the club brothers watching our showdown. “Do you all see this? Are you gonna let this stand? This’s your VP threatenin’ your president. He’s arguing about followin’ my orders, showin’ us all that he’s unworthy of his patch.”
I swallow hard to stop the challenge that’s sitting at the tip of my tongue from emerging out of my mouth. Calling him out right now would backfire. I don’t have the votes, any misstep will see my faction thrown out of the club.
It’s not my usual M.O. but patience is currently my only weapon.
“Every… one!” my dad wheeze-shouts as loudly as he can when nobody steps forward to agree with Brutus. His status as the ex-president, the longest serving at the mother chapter, is enough to immediately capture everyone’s attention. “Out. The … front.”
When I turn around, I find a lot of the older members nodding in agreement at Brutus’ declaration. It’s not as many as last night, but it’s still enough to split the club beyond repair. Slash, Cub, Toker, and Hunter move in to crowd behind my father. They cross their arms over their chests and dare the rest of the MC to step forward and challenge my dad. Finally, after a few fraught seconds that drag like days, their quiet support acts as a cue for everyone to heed Dad’s order and head out.
Once they’ve evacuated the bar, leaving me, Brutus, Lily, Charlie, Slash, and my dad alone, I glare at my president. He stares back at me with naked loathing in his gaze. If I hadn’t grown used to the change in his attitude to me, his open hostility would hurt.
“You should’ve had the balls to put a stop to her dramatics five fuckin’ years ago—yesterday wouldn’t have happened if I was in charge.”
While his accusation is still ringing in my ears, Brutus shoves me in the chest, pushing me back a step. Before I can react, Charlie and Lily burst into action. My woman circles my waist with her arms and uses her body to move me away from her father as Charlie tries to shepherd Brutus toward the exit.
“It’s not your fault that Alex abducted me yesterday and it’s not your fault I can’t keep my head on straight,” Lily tells me. Her voice drops to an urgent whisper. “Don’t listen to him. Don’t allow him to undo the progress we just made... we both know he’s lashing out to deflect from his scheming back then.”
“Brutus! You stop this now,” Charlie orders her old man when he lets out a mocking snort in response to Lily’s pronouncement. “This is your stubborn pride and anger talking because you know, as we all do, that Lilianna is safe with Ezekiel. He’d sacrifice his own life before he let her get hurt.”
As Charlie tries to smooth the situation over, the guilt that has ridden me for almost six years returns with a vengeance.
“But I have let her get hurt.” I tell Charlie in a voice that vibrates with regret.
As crass and self-serving as Brutus’ description of the circumstances may have been, he’s not wrong. Lily is my responsibility, and I’ve failed her. Over and over. I know how dangerous Alex can be, yet instead of telling her the truth of the situation, I let my selfish desire to keep the smile on her face overrule my common sense.
In some ways, I’m no better than her father.
My hands shake as I take hold of Lily’s shoulders and push her into Brutus’ reach.
“Don’t do this!”
“I’m sorry, metukà shelì , but he’s right.”
“Fuck’s sake,” Slash snaps as I dislodge myself from Lily’s grip. “You wanna martyr yourself on the altar of Brutus’ bullshit, do it on your own time. Right now, we have a meetin’ to attend. Cherub needs you… man the fuck up and show her how much you love her instead of letting this egotistical fuck get in your head.” He jerks his thumb in Brutus’ direction. “He’s not worth it.”
“Ezekiel,” my dad ventures breathlessly. “Slash. Is ... right.”
Hope in her eyes, Lily takes a step toward me. Brutus snags her by the waist and holds her back. Her eyes are watery, and her bottom lip is red from worrying it with her teeth while I went head-to-head with her father. My president. My godfather. My father-in-law to be. I want to tell her it’ll be all right. That we’ll work it out.
I can’t
It’s not true.
Because I am responsible for what happened to her yesterday and five and a half years ago, and it’s clear Brutus has found out somehow. Now, it’s only a matter of time before he tells her the full story and she’s forced to face the stark reality of the full extent of my failures.
After scanning my face, she visibly deflates.
“I don’t want you to come, sweet thing,” I tell her. Anger flares in her sapphire gaze, a spark of defiance that my next words fan into an inferno. “I don’t want you near him, don’t think you can handle it.”
Unspoken is the fact that I don’t think I can handle it.
“Too bad.” Lily straightens her shoulders and lifts her chin. “It’s not your choice.”
Her refusal spurs a conflict between my heart and my head. I need space before I say something I’ll regret. My hasty stride eats up the cement floor between my woman and the exit. The distance does nothing to calm me, only adds to my agitation. I don’t want to make things worse for Lily, don’t want her to suffer more than she already has, yet I fear rock bottom is deeper than I first imagined now that Brutus is inserting himself into things.
The Devil himself will have a penthouse view of our downfall by the time this is over.
Lungs straining, I don’t breathe again until the double doors are swinging shut behind me. When I spy Toker standing near our bikes, I snatch the cigarette that’s hanging from his lips and suck down the poisonous tar like a starving man. It’s been weeks since I quit, so the nicotine makes my head spin and does nothing to settle the tension that’s got my nerves twanging. Once I’ve finished it, I steal a second smoke, using the new one Toker has just put in his mouth to light it.
“All right, I get it,” he chuckles as he takes his cigarette back. “You’re stressed… doesn’t mean I’m suddenly the fuckin’ free smoke fairy.”
My mood darkens further in the face of his levity. “Shut the fuck up.”
Seeing Lily emerge from the compound with Slash only makes things worse. He’s holding her hand and instructing her on what to do next. After passing Lily her sunglasses, leather jacket, and helmet, he says, loud enough for me to hear, “You go on Venom’s bike. Don’t take no for an answer from the stubborn jackarse… you know he’s not gonna like you being there, and I fuckin’ agree with him, but we need you to come now. You’re needa stop this turnin’ into a shit show that fucks up this club.”
“Okay. I’ll try.”
Her wavering voice conveys exactly how she’s feeling.
Lost and betrayed.
By me.
When Brutus approaches Lily with his arms wide like he’s going to hug her, she swings out of his reach. “You need to back off today, Dad. I know this is your club, but you’re messing with my relationship. I’m furious with you right now.”
He blanches at the vehemence in her tone for a quick second before his expression turns businesslike again. “You’re not in possession of the full truth, little Cherub, but we’ll discuss that soon.”
“Whatever.” Lily dismisses her dad with a flick of her hair, then stalks with purpose toward me.
I throw a leg over my Harley and look everywhere but at her. She grabs the cigarette I’m smoking, tosses it on the ground, and grinds it out with the toe of her boot. Passing me her helmet and sunglasses, Lily pulls the jacket on, then she quickly braids her long locks. Once that’s done, I hand her the helmet.
The entire time she’s fastening the chin straps, she doesn’t address me.
I remain silent too.
What’s left to say?
Brutus is sure to fuck up our life as soon as he can.
She snatches her eye protection out of my hand, then leans down to pull down the pillion pegs. The assurance in her movements puts me on edge. Lily is rushing headfirst into a situation that none of us fully understand. Protective instincts engaged, I take hold of her upper arm to stop her, and with my chin, gesture toward Slash. “Stay here... he can keep you company.”
“No.”
She shrugs off my hand and hits me with a pointed look.
Knowing when I’m beat, I bend to the side and yank the pillion pegs into place.
One hand on the sissy bar and the other on my shoulder, Lily cocks her leg and pulls herself onto the back of my Harley like she has hundreds of times before. A sliver of something bad, foreboding, gut instinct, I’m not quite sure, ripples through me, and the thought that this is the last time she’ll sit behind me like this bursts into my brain.
Distracted, I hiss when my woman tugs on my T-shirt to pull it free of my jeans, then slides her hands under the material. Her long and slender fingers settle on my abs, the band of the diamond engagement ring I custom designed for her catches in the material, and the shudder I repress is part need, part guilt.
A reminder of what’s at stake.
Since we always ride like this, Lily’s actions were to be expected. Today, though, it’s an unwanted reminder of her eighteenth birthday when I held her in the same way as I rode bitch on the back of the bike that I gave her as a gift. It was my way of finally making a move on her—one that Lily reciprocated as soon as she wrapped her head around the implications of there being an us again after all the drama that had gotten in our way over the previous couple of years.
Mere hours before Alex almost killed her...
“Dunno what the fuck you’re playin’ at today, woman?” Mouth in action before my brain has time to kick in, I bark, “Brutus’ plan is stupid—I should lock you in our room.”
Our gazes meet in the side-view mirror. I can’t see her eyes behind the sunglasses, but I know her well enough to see that she’s as confused as I am right now. Never in our history have I spoken to her like this. Never thought we’d find ourselves in a situation that called for it. My club. My life. My heart. All three are at risk since they are so intertwined with the woman pressed against my back.
“What?” Rather than admit her chaotic thoughts, Lily chooses to feign ignorance. “I’m just riding bitch like a good old lady should.”
When she rakes her nails lightly across my stomach, my abs clench.
The grin she hits me with tells me she did it on purpose.
“You know what I mean, Lilianna . You’re actin’ reckless.”
My heart lurches in my chest when I use her full first name. It’s another low blow. One that hits a bullseye because it wipes the cheeky grin right off her face.
“I know it seems dumb to you, but I need to see this to the end, Zeke. Like, I don’t want to be the one who ends him … I’m not—I’m not… that… tough . I only want to be there when you do it.” When I place my gloved hand on her thigh and softly squeeze, Lily lowers her chin to my shoulder. “I need you to support me being there, though.”
“I wanna be the one who sends him to the reaper for you, but I don’t think it’s right for you to be anywhere near him when it happens. He’s gonna try to fuck with your head as soon as he realises it’s over.” My woman nods, seeming to understand where I’m coming from. Still, she shows no sign of backing out of this meeting, so I try to press my point. “I can try to support you, but I don’t see how you can deal with this shit, not hot on the heels of yesterday. I know you’re strong, but confrontin’ him might be the thing that breaks you… might send you back to where you were four years ago.”
“I can deal with anything if you have my back.”
“I hope I’m enough,” I confess. As my stomach churns, I decide to bite the bullet now, not only to head off Brutus, but to see if sharing my worries will encourage Lily to dive deeper into her reason for listening to her father, despite his track record of letting her down. “You’re gonna look at me different once this is over… and I don’t know if I’m ready for that. Actually, I know I’m not... I’m a fuckin’ dark and dangerous man, sweet thing. You’ve no idea the shit I’m capable of, and I’m not lookin’ forward to you seein’ up close and personal exactly how bad I am.”
Tight chest and a muddled head warning me that I’m about to risk it all, I tell her the secret I think Brutus is about to spill. “I went after Alex while he was in hospital, and I also arranged for some of the brothers to pay him a few visits on the inside… thought it’d scare him off—but it’s clear that it only made him more intent on gettin’ his hands on you.” I swallow hard. My pride strangles the rest of my admission, garbling the words as I force myself to say them, “I fucked up, sweet thing. I didn’t tell you that I poked the monster, and I compounded my secrecy by hidin’ the sick love letters he sent you, pleadin’ for you to meet with him so he could explain everythin’.”
Although it feels good to get this off my chest, I take no pleasure in dumping my mistakes on Lily’s shoulders. She already carries too much weight… I hate myself for adding to it. But needs must. Dulling the sword Brutus is planning to swing at my neck takes precedent. The damage he can do to Lily is immeasurable.
If my gut is right, an arranged marriage is the least of his sins.
With a caustic laugh, Lily retorts, “ Oh, I know who you are and what you do. I’ve always known. I grew up in this club, remember?” She laughs again. It’s a bittersweet sound. “No matter how much you men embrace your code of silence, things have a way of getting around, and we women hear about them… Sure, some of what I’ve heard about you horrifies me, but this is the life I chose when I fell in love with an outlaw, so I take the good with the bad… I can separate Zeke from Venom.”
Although it scares the living shit out of me to know that she’ll eventually discover that Zeke and Venom are one and the same, I force myself to offer my agreement. “Can’t ask much more than that from you.”
“No,” she quips. Lily’s chin wobbles when she adds. “But I can ask you to trust me like I trust you.”
“I do.”
“You don’t,” Lily objects. “If you did, you wouldn’t lie to me over and over.”
When she falls silent instead of pushing her point, I know that shit’s about to get real. Wild Lily, the girl who flies off the handle and says what’s on her mind without thinking, is scary enough. This Lily, the quiet and contemplative version, is fucking terrifying.
Physically and mentally, I brace for her to lash out at me over the jailhouse beatings and the letters. I wrap my fingers around the handlebars, flexing them, before I run my thumb over the ignition button, ready to ride off the moment Lily stalks away from my lying arse.
“Honestly, I always suspected that you arranged some payback… that’s just how you roll. Doesn’t mean you’re to blame for what he did yesterday. That’s on Alex.” The sigh that leaves Lily’s lips is filled with exhaustion. “And, as for the letters, let’s put a pin in that argument for now since I, kinda, already knew about them.” When I frown, she shrugs. “I’m going to tack it right alongside the fact you hid his release from me ’cause I’m more than happy to hash this out once you’re free to make it up to me with multiple orgasms.”
“Sweet thing?—”
“Don’t sweet thing me,” Lily cuts me off. “Just listen.”
“Okay.”
“Nothing you do today is going to change how I feel about you. I love you, Zeke. Heart, head, and soul. Is there stuff about you that should scare me? Sure… but I know you’d never hurt me, and for that I can accept your darkness and your danger —” She makes air quotes around the last word. “—Because those two things give you the strength to pull me free of my nightmare when Alex’s darkness and danger threatens to overwhelm me.”
“And that’ll never change, metukà shelì .”
“Which is why your love is literally the only thing I’m completely certain about in my life right now.”
At that, my woman gives herself a shake, then dips her head, and curls into my back again. I flip down my visor and bite back a growl when Brutus stares at me with undisguised loathing. Instead of giving him my rage, I offer him a sardonic salute with one leather-clad hand.
“Move out,” Brutus orders.
The Harleys in the front of the compound roar to life. The sound is deafening but revitalising at the same time. After patting Lily’s hands to let her know to hold on, I pull out into my rightful place at Brutus’ six and follow him out of the city to meet with Alex and his captured sidekicks.
As we ride, the freedom of the open road that usually relaxes me doesn’t work. If anything, as I glare at my president’s back, my body becomes tenser as I wonder what’s to come.
What are we about to walk into? Will it be a scene where we’re in charge or one where Alex is pulling the strings? Why is Brutus trying to drive a wedge between me and Lily now that I’m VP? And why is my dad openly going against his best friend to defend me?
Too many questions. Not enough answers. But the main problems are clear…
My president is shaping up as suspect numero uno in my pursuit of the Shamrocks’ traitors.
My fiancée is about to face her nightmare and, hopefully, watch me put a bullet in him.
The solutions should be clear—out Brutus’ disloyalty to my brothers and support Lily through the shock of seeing me kill someone.
It should be simple.
Except my gut is screaming that the outcomes are going to be anything but…