13. Lily
13
LILY
H alf an hour after we pass the city outskirts, we slow to a crawl and pull off the highway onto an unsealed road. It’s bumpy. It’s dusty. The aching in my ribs is hard to take as I bounce around behind Zeke. I sink my teeth into my bottom lip to distract myself as two huge farm sheds come into view, but that only makes my stitches pull.
With my dad leading the way and Zeke riding directly behind him, the other Shamrocks follow us into the yard that surrounds the sheds. As we pull to a stop, I see that there’s already six or seven Harleys parked here, as well as four blacked-out SUVs. The sight of them sets my hair on end. Only one person I know uses these vehicles for transport.
“Is Joseph here?” I ask.
“Wait here,” Zeke orders as I climb off his bike. “I’ll find out what’s goin’ on.”
Satisfied that he’ll get to the bottom of things, I lean back against the sissy bar. I roll my eyes when Zeke snags a smoke from Toker and joins the huddle of Shamrocks hierarchy out the front of the closest shed. Although I understand the stress he’s under, seeing him reach for a kick of nicotine is annoying. Sure, it’s not quite in the same realm of self-harm, but I doubt he’d like me to pick up a razor and start slicing my skin again to avoid my feelings.
The Inadale chapter’s president joins the new arrivals from our chapter, and they chat while their other brothers mill around—stretching, lighting cigarettes, and just generally shooting the breeze while they wait to be told what to do. When Zeke approaches, he exchanges words with my father, then the conversation dies.
I can feel the tension from here.
“Little Cherub.” Dad beckons for me with a sharp wave. “Come here.”
Since wasting their time seems counterintuitive, I push down my residual anger at my dad’s attitude and rush over to the group. When I reach them, my pulse kicks up into a sprint and my mouth runs dry. It’s unusual for anyone outside of the patched members of the MC to come along on club business, so to say I’m feeling a little out of my depth would be an understatement.
Looking to Zeke for comfort, I find he’s staring at the ground.
Nobody else acknowledges me, except my father.
There’s an undercurrent to the tension that makes my hair stand on end.
“You sure you can handle this?”
Squaring my shoulders, I meet Dad’s eyes and answer his terse question. “Yes, I’m sure.”
I contemplate what I’m going to ask, doing my best to muster the courage needed to request what I really want.
My father isn’t going to take it very well. He prides himself on how tough his kids are, and I’m about to let him down big time.
“Dad.” I pause for a second as I try to find the words I need. “I don’t want to be the one who deals with Alex.” Although I cut my gaze to Zeke for backup, I’m left hanging. He’s still concentrating ridiculously hard on stamping out his cigarette butt. “I want Zeke to handle things for me. I only want to observe.”
At the mention of his name, Zeke jerks his head upright. Doubt clouds his harsh features. Realisation dawns that he didn’t really believe a word of what I said to him before we rode out here, and I glare at him until he offers me a wry smirk.
So much for trusting me like he expects me to trust him.
“Fuck, no,” Dad exclaims. “That’s not happenin’.”
He swings toward Zeke and grabs him by the front of his jacket. My man clenches his fists, and Slash makes a move to separate them.
I motion Slash to stop, and I step up to my dad instead, grabbing the arm he’s holding Zeke with and tugging on it.
He ignores me, glaring at my fiancé.
“Did you put her up to this?”
My father spits his question at Zeke as maliciousness darkens his tone. Thankfully, Zeke just regards him impassively, and refuses to dignify his ridiculous statement with an answer. Every person who knows me is aware that I have a mind of my own. My choices are mine. Good, bad, ugly, and somewhere in between, I’m rarely talked into things I don’t want to do, and I’m even less likely to be swayed from a path I’ve chosen without a damn good argument.
For better or worse, my stubbornness has been a boon and a bane.
Time will tell which category my choice to attend this meeting falls into.
“Dad, for crying out loud.” I pull harder on my father’s arm. “Will you stop all this macho crap today and listen to me? Please. ” It’s the most irritating reaction to have in front of this group of men, but I can’t help the tears of anger that well in my eyes and threaten to spill over if I so much as blink. Everywhere I turn, I come up against another roadblock. “I don’t understand why you have such a grudge against Zeke today.” Eyes burning, I gesture between them with my free hand. “But it stops now. I need to see Alex dead, but I can’t be the one who does it. I’m not built like that. I’m not built like you.” My voice shakes as I plead with him to understand what I’m saying. “For my peace of mind, I need Zeke to do it. He’s been through everything with me, right from the start, and I want him to be at the end, too.”
At that declaration, Dad releases Zeke with a shove. My man stumbles backward a few steps before regaining his balance. Expression tight with rage, he appears ready to launch himself at my father, but he backs down when Slash loops a heavy arm around his shoulder.
When I take a step toward Zeke, Dad gathers me against his chest in a bone-crushing hug that is impossible to resist. “I get what you’re asking, little Cherub, but that’s not the outcome we’re here for… even if we were, I wouldn’t allow you to give that useless prick the opportunity.”
I pull back as far as I can from my father until there’s enough space for him to see the full depth of my anger at his current behaviour. He doesn’t even blink in the face of it. Always right, even when he’s wrong, his rigid posture and indignant expression displays his sense of self-righteousness for all to see.
“Don’t talk about Zeke like that.”
Dad shakes his head at my demand. “You’ll see just how right I am shortly.”
“You’re insane.”
“Maybe.” My father smirks as I glare at him. His blue-eyed gaze, so much like mine, moves between me and Zeke as deviousness dances in his sharp features. “But I’m rarely outmanoeuvred.”
Done with his dramatics, I pull away from my dad and walk into Zeke’s arms. He encloses me in his embrace, shielding me from my father’s sight, and turns me so my back is to the crowd. On my periphery, I see my father stalk off without another word.
Everyone scrambles to follow him.
“Do you know what he’s talking about?” I ask.
Zeke shrugs, although I can see his thoughts running a million miles a minute, trying to work out what has set off my father’s pig-headedness.
Grabbing my hand, he pulls me behind him into the shed my father has entered. The door’s being held open for us by the sergeant-at-arms of the Inadale chapter who ushers us in with urgency, and then twists the handle to secure the doors behind us.
I don’t know exactly what I expected to see when I came face to face with Alex again, but finding him dressed in a bespoke suit, flanked by his grandfather, father, Hugh, and eight made men, wasn’t in the realm of possibilities. Pain makes his generous lips a tight line. He leans heavily on the calliper secured to his forearm. The dust swirling in the empty shed has reddened his eyes.
Other than that, he looks in decent health.
Hugh, on the other hand, looks a lot worse for wear.
His face is bandaged, and he clutches his side.
“But Charlie said…” My shock remains unvoiced as Kristoff Maddison steps forward and holds his hand out to my father.
“We appreciate you taking the time to meet with us, Brutus,” the boss of the Maddison clan tells my dad as they shake hands. “Especially in the circumstances.”
“What the fuck?” Zeke blurts. “This ain’t the kinda meetin’ we discussed.”
“You’ll have to excuse my VP. He’s still learnin’ how to conduct himself in public.” Dad holds his hand up to silence Zeke when he opens his mouth to argue. “I was surprised by your call but, I must say, I’m intrigued by your offer.”
Alex’s father, Joseph Kingsley, smirks at Dad’s blatant lie. The double-cross in play makes it clear that my dad has been in touch with the Maddison’s more than he’s let on. When he chuckles at my discomfort, I swallow deep, averting my gaze from the corrupt politician who’s gone out of his way to make my life a misery. My attention is caught by Hugh, who chooses this moment to wave at me like we’re long-lost friends.
“Anna,” he drawls. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“Yeah,” I retort. “What a coincidence.”
“Coincidence or fate, princess?”
“More like a nightm?—”
“Don’t speak to her,” Zeke growls over my retort. “She doesn’t exist for the likes of you.”
The boss of the Maddison clan holds up a hand to silence Hugh when he opens his mouth.
“Maybe we should leave the young ones to their devices?” Kristoff asks in the same tone a creepy uncle might offer you his last candy. “They can patch up their differences while we discuss a mutually beneficial path out of the mess my grandson—” He slants a piercing look at Alex. “—has caused with his rash actions.”
Zeke’s temper has been slowly building as he’s taken in the scene before us. I can feel the tension coiling within him, my awareness that I’m about to see the mythical “Venom” in action grows by the second. Apparently, Slash and Toker can feel the same thing. They quickly move into place, taking up position on either side of us.
“I think that’d be wise.”
In the immediate wake of Dad’s agreement, the shed falls silent.
Disbelief emanates from the Shamrocks’ side as the sound of motorcycles approaching at a distance fills the air. In the Maddison’s midst, an atmosphere of arrogant expectation builds. Alex shuffles awkwardly, leaning his weight on the crutch, and, ever the faithful friend, Hugh follows him when he slowly steps into the expanse of concrete separating the two groups.
“I’d like to apologise, Lily.” Zeke growls a second time at Alex’s use of my nickname and Slash takes hold of his upper arm. My cousin crowds closer to me, his right hand tucked into the left side of his cut so he can easily grab his handgun from its shoulder holster. “I should have left you alone, like you requested . Please know that I’m sorry for any pain I’ve caused. You have…” Alex trails off, his nostrils flaring as he battles his rage to continue with the transparently unwilling apology that he’s being forced to offer me. “You have my… word … as a Maddison… that this is the last time you’ll lay eyes on me, unless you specifically request otherwise.”
I take in Alex’s tightly clenched fist and the hardness in his chocolate-brown eyes.
His rigid posture.
The fury ticking in his jaw.
And I know that his capitulation is for show.
His grandfather has forced his hand, threatened him into compliance.
Alexander Kingsley’s word means nothing to me. Not only because he’s untrustworthy, but because of who he is at his core.
A monster.
“I note you neglected to mention that I have your word as a Kingsley.”
My bald statement hangs in the air between us. I don’t actually expect Alex to answer me—or to offer me an oath in the name of his father when we both know he has zero intentions of keeping it. Truthfully, I have no goal, other than to alert Alex to the fact that I’m not buying his act.
“You’re never content to take what’s on offer,” Hugh replies before Alex can. “You’ve always got to push for more. Dirty, little, jumped-up biker princess who thinks she’s better than she?—”
The tall, sandy-blonde haired man, who I now know is a Maddison captain, makes a move toward me.
Toker is the first to draw his gun.
Slash and Zeke are seconds behind him.
I’m shoved behind my man, and my view is partially blocked by his bulk.
At the sight of my cousin’s weapon, Hugh freezes on the spot while Alex motions his men forward. In rapid succession, each biker and soldier, Black Shamrock and Maddison alike, points a muzzle at his opposing man. They stare at each other, animosity etched on their faces, a hunger to kill clear in their posture. My heart beats thunders in my ears, deafening me as it grows louder with every second that passes while the two sides hold each other at gunpoint.
“This fight won’t go the way you mobsters envision,” Slash’s deceptively placid remark is eerie in the quiet shed. “Our calvary is about to breach the gates.”
As he mentions backup, I realise that part of the sound growing louder in my ears is external. The distinctive rumble of Harley-Davidsons rattles through the corrugated walls of the shed. I peer past Toker, down the long line of Shamrocks, and notice that my father, Joseph, and Kristoff have disappeared.
“Zeke,” I hiss in my man’s ear. “Dad’s gone.”
Irritation radiating from every pore, my fiancé steps into the middle of the two groups and glances in the direction my father was standing. He slams one hand on his hip, the other clenched around his hand grip as he realises that I’m right. My dad, master manipulator that he is, is huddled somewhere with the boss of the Australian-Irish mob and the man whose chance at becoming State Premier I torpedoed.
“Take her home,” Zeke orders Slash. “I want her miles away from here before a single bullet is fired.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
After nodding his agreement with my man’s terse demand, Slash wraps an arm around my neck and uses it to guide me toward the exit. I try to stop him, but it’s futile. Six foot eight, with the muscle to match, physically extricating myself from his embrace is impossible.
I twist as much as I can to look back at Zeke. “Come on. Be reasonable.”
“Yeah, Venom,” Alex offers in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear. “Let Lily stay… I mean, this meeting is about her. Doesn’t she deserve to witness it first-hand?”
“No one fuckin’ asked for your input.”
“Maybe I’m looking out for my own interests.” The man who’s invaded my nightmares for years hits me with a look I know well. Alex is about to rip the rug out from under my feet. “Maybe I want to see her face when she learns that you started Sander’s little habit, then left him to fend for himself when it became too much to handle?”
“What?” With frantic eyes, I seek out Zeke. “You didn’t… you wouldn’t…”
“But that’s not all.” Alex’s smirk widens. My heart drops as Zeke refuses to meet my searching gaze. “I also wanted to witness Lily’s fragile little heart breaking when she discovered that Nadia was fucking me senseless the entire time that I was seeing her.”
I gasp, then press my palm to my mouth. The pain that’s flaring through my body has nothing to do with my injuries and everything to do with the truth bombs Alex is dropping with delight. Not that I care about my best friend sleeping with him—it’s the implications behind that that hurt.
The folly that led to my downfall was her idea.
“Calm down, angel. She meant nothing to me—it was a mutually beneficial deal.” Always a drama seeker, Alex pauses to ensure he has everyone’s attention as he drops the second shoe. “You were a delicate little virgin who needed coaxing. While I finessed you, I got my rocks off with your best friend and she was provided with all the pills and crystal meth she needed to make your twin dependent on her in return.”
“Nadia wouldn’t… she didn’t…”
“Come on, Cherub,” Slash urges me forward. “Let me take you home.”
Every part of my body is numb as I let him tow me outside.
I allow myself one look backward.
At Zeke.
He continues to evade my gaze.
“It wasn’t like it sounds.” Slash tries to reason with me once we’re separated from the others. “Just weed. That’s all.”
“I don’t care.”
“Yeah, ya do,” he tells me. “You wouldn’t be shakin’ like a leaf if you didn’t.”
I wrap my arms around my middle, hugging myself tight as I try to make sense of Alex’s allegations. The stupid games. The lies. The damage wrought. The guilt. The suffering inflicted.
Could my man and my best friend have really been the catalyst?
When we emerge into the bright late-afternoon sun, my father leaves the huddle he’s in with Joseph and Kristoff. He takes one look at my face, and a grim yet oddly exhilarated lustre enters his eyes. “She knows?”
“That you set this up… yeah, I’m pretty sure she knows that.”
“Don’t take that tone with me,” Dad warns Slash. I blink at them, black spots in my vision that match the dark thoughts in my head. “It’s for her own good.”
“Keep tellin’ yourself that.” The two men stare at each other for a moment, then Slash shakes his head. “Fuck. I don’t even know you anymore.”
“Take her home,” Dad demands.
For reasons he doesn’t voice, Slash follows my father’s directive. He grabs my helmet and sunglasses from Zeke’s bike, then pulls me over to his Harley. While I zip up my jacket and prepare for the ride back to the compound, I try to hold on to the hope that Slash’s cryptic comments have given rise to.
If it was only weed, maybe I can move past it?
“He was gonna tell you when you got out of the hospital and a heap of fuckin’ times after that.” Slash pulls his own helmet on, then yanks his pillion pegs into place for me. He tries to explain the secret that’s been kept from me, “But I’d tell him not to rock the boat, and so would everyone else. You weren’t copin’, we couldn’t add another betrayal to your plate.”
“None of you had the right to keep something so important from me.” My voice rises an octave or two as my anger grows at the knowledge of yet another lie. “I brought Nadia into our life.”
“By the time we realised we’d made a mistake, too much time’d passed.” He mounts his bike, then pats the seat behind him. “We knew you’d shut him out—shut every one of us out—if he told you the whole truth.”
Knees shaking, my limbs heavy yet light at the same time, I tighten my chin straps and clumsily climb onto Slash’s bike. A huff leaves me when he takes hold of my wrists and pulls me tight against his back. I shake off his grip to push my sunglasses back up my nose before I offer him one final rebuke. “So what? If I shut him out, it was because he deserved it! You all did! Nadia’s my best friend. I see her. Every. Single. Day. For God’s sake, she’s one of the Shamrocks’ old ladies. You guys kept me in the dark… let me pick her to be my matron of honour… not that it matters now.”
As I gaze down at the engagement ring that sits on my left hand, I’m filled with sadness.
How can I marry a man who doesn’t see me as worthy of the truth?
“Now is not the time to do anythin’ rash,” Slash cautions. “Reserve your judgement until you know the whole story—I guarantee that it’ll make you see things differently.”
“I hope so.”
When his Harley roars to life, I settle in behind him.
I watch Cub, Isaiah, and two other Shamrocks pull to a stop in the yard.
They remain on their bikes, revving their engines, as they scan the situation.
It’s noisy, but I can still hear Slash grumbling under his breath as he tucks my hands inside the bottom hem of his jacket. “The man’s a fuckin’ millionaire, you’d think he could buy his woman a pair of gloves.”
Heart in my throat, mind whirling with more questions than I’ll likely ever have answered, I refrain from explaining to Slash that I have a dozen pairs of riding gloves. I just never need them when I’m riding with Zeke. He prefers my palms against his skin.
I thought I preferred the same.
Now, it just feels like a bittersweet memory we’ve made in the midst of lies.
All the things that we have in common, all the experiences we’ve shared, it all feels contrived. Where I once believed that Zeke was my destiny, I’m left to wonder if everything—my hopes, my dreams, my thoughts, my preferences—was built on a foundation of untruth.
Because that’s all he does…
The man I love lies to me.
Betrayal, confusion, and regret cloak me.
Weigh me down.
Push me lower than ever.
Yet, another step in my descent back toward rock bottom…