Chapter 28
It was another two weeks before Sloane was strong enough for the trip home.
By then, Lachlan had sent most of his men back and only left a few behind to escort him back.
Jamie and Adair were not among them. They were also not at the wedding.
Sloane hoped that didn’t mean he distrusted them for what Blaine did.
Outside the keep, Freya hugged her gently. “I promise that I willna speak to my husband for a month. I cannae believe that he rescinded his offer for sanctuary.”
“He didna rescind it completely,” Sloane acknowledged.
“He told me that I could return in the future if I choose and ye willna ignore yer husband because ye are deliriously in love, happy, and newly wed. Ye have a great deal of happiness that lies ahead of ye and I cannae wait to see ye again so ye can tell me all about it.”
Freya blushed and Sloane couldn’t help but laugh. She had no idea that anything could make Freya blush, but apparently, Gair was doing something right at night.
“Does that mean that you plan on returning?”
Looking over her shoulder, she glanced at Lachlan as he approached them. “I plan a good many things, but it only matters what we do.”
Freya gave her a strange look, but she didn’t get a chance to respond before Lachlan reached them. He cleared his throat and eyed Freya. “Do I get a hug?”
“No, I am not speaking to ye,” Freya muttered before she hesitated. “But travel safely.”
Sloane saw the twinkle of merriment in her husband’s eyes and shook her head. He knew that his sister couldn’t stay mad at him for long. But she did know how to push her brother’s buttons.
“Sloane, I will be seeing ye soon,” Freya promised.
Growling low in his throat, Lachlan gently pulled Sloane away and missed the wink that Freya sent her.
Careful not to hurt her, he lifted her up on her horse and stayed close while she steadied herself.
The worst of the pain was gone, but there were still some aches and discomfort.
The healer told her it was mostly from being in the bed for so long and would go away the more she moved around.
She wasn’t wrong. Yesterday, she spent most of the morning walking slowly around the keep with Freya while her friend chatted merrily about married life. Sloane was happy that Freya was happy, but she marveled at how different their experiences were.
And today, she felt a little better. The trip home could be trying. She assumed that was why Lachlan had sent more of his men ahead. The slow trip with constant breaks would be grueling for men like that and that was hoping that Lachlan took it easy on her during the trip.
She had a feeling that he would.
Surprisingly, he gave her a few more days before he asked her if she was well enough to travel. Since he was making everyone miserable, Sloane decided to take pity on them. She was feeling well enough.
“Thank ye,” she said softly. “I am ready.”
Polite. They were so polite to each other.
After Freya’s wedding, he sat with her at meals and walked with her in the evening.
They never talked about Blaine or Kenzy.
They never talked about her father or the fact that she’d tried to run away.
Just brief conversations about things that didn’t matter. So very polite.
Sloane wanted to scream.
Lachlan mounted his own horse, and their escorts started out. With a look over her shoulder, she smiled at Freya. No offense to her friend, but she hoped that she didn’t have to return.
The men fanned out and gave them plenty of privacy which only made things even tenser. She wanted to hear the jokes and banter of Lachlan between Adair and Jamie.
And Blaine.
“Do ye not trust them?” she asked softly.
“Not trust who?”
“Adair and Jamie. Is that why ye sent them ahead? Ye doona trust them to protect us?”
“I trust Adair and Jamie with my life,” he said staunchly. “I doona blame them for what he did.”
“Blaine,” Sloane said softly. “Ye need to be able to say his name, Lachlan.”
“He broke his vows to me.”
Maybe, but he had the chance to kill Lachlan and didn’t take it. If he had, Blaine would still be alive. He had to know that and so did Lachlan.
“He could have blamed ye, but he blamed me and ye feel guilty about that.” Sloane took a deep breath. “We need to talk about it, Lachlan. It is not going to go away.”
“What will talking about it do?” He slowed his horse just a little and glanced away.
“Ye never asked what happened. I was with him for two days before ye found me. That’s a lot of time, Lachlan, and yet ye were only interested in what he did to me and not what he said.”
“I know what he said,” Lachlan growled. “He told ye that I hated ye. He told ye that I all but gave him permission to get ye out of my life.”
She nodded her head and focused on the road ahead.
“Aye. He did say all of those things. He also talked about Kenzy. Told me all the wonderful things about her. Blamed me for her death, but it wasna true and he knew it. There was no one to blame. No one saw the distress she was in. Not her closest friends. Not her brother. She hid it that well. He blamed himself and when he saw that I was deceptive, he blamed me.”
Lachlan looked over at her. “And?”
“Ye blame yerself, too,” Sloane said softly as she looked over at him. “He didna blame ye. I doona blame ye. No one does, and yet I know the look well. I wore it not too long ago.”
Lachlan snorted. “Ye agreed to play spy and then didna pass along any information.”
“Funny how nearly dying can help a husband change his mind about his wife,” Sloane said dryly. He looked at her sharply, and she smirked. “My healer gave me laudanum to help me sleep, but on the night of Freya’s wedding, I stopped taking it because it was hard for me to focus in the morning.”
He groaned. “Ye were awake.”
“I heard every word,” she admitted. “I wondered what ye would do. Let me stay with Gair and Freya or force me back so ye can win my love.” For two weeks, she’d sat on pins and needles until Gair finally rescinded the sanctuary. Then she’d known that Lachlan had made his decision.
It was strange how forcing her to return with him was the reason she thought there was still hope between them. If he had let her go, she would have wondered forever if the love between them could have saved them.
“Sloane….”
She interrupted whatever excuse he was about to make. “‘Tis sweet, really, but my love isna the one in question.”
“Ye want me to tell ye that I love ye? I love ye.”
Sloane sighed and fanned herself. Inside, she was giddy, but a confession of love was hardly going to close the chasm between them. “How romantic. A declaration of love on a dusty road. I might swoon, but I doona think a fall from a horse will feel verra good.”
“Are ye trivializing my feelings for ye?” he demanded as he guided his horse close to hers.
“Not at all, but I already knew that ye loved me, Lachlan.
I will admit that ‘tis nice hearing it. It will be a little nicer to hear it when I am more comfortable.” Looking over her shoulder, she smiled when he abruptly reached for her.
“Easy. I didna mean to imply that I am too uncomfortable to stop. I am fine for a little while longer. I promise to let ye know when I need a break.”
Relaxing in his saddle, he matched her pace. “Did Gair really rescind yer sanctuary?”
“Aye, he did. Freya was furious. I was heartbroken. Then he told me why he rescinded it. He figured that ye’d need a little more time to grovel. He thought it might do ye some good.”
“Did ye come with me to watch me grovel?”
“Nay, I knew that ye wanted to grovel. That is why we are having this conversation. The last thing I want from ye is ye begging my forgiveness when ye have done nothing wrong, so I thought I might save us both some time.”
“No groveling,” Lachlan echoed. “Then what do ye want?”
She was quiet for a moment. There were a great many things that she wanted. Lachlan was her first love, and she knew they didn’t have many more chances to fix things.
“What I want right now is an honest conversation. I can go first if it makes ye feel better. I came to ye having never known love and ye gave it to me. Ye found out that I was meant to spy on yer sister and ye were angry. Something dangerous happened to yer sister and ye reacted to it. Ye blamed me. I blamed me. I could have stopped it.”
“Ye didna know the lengths that yer father would go to.”
“There ye go again. Forgiving me all because I nearly died,” she said in frustration.
“Wrong,” he growled suddenly and stopped abruptly.
She slowed her horse as well and stared at him.
“I didna forgive ye because ye nearly died. I forgive ye because I see what it is like to have blind faith in someone and be betrayed by them. The only difference is that ye saw yer father for what he was and stood up to him. I had no idea what Blaine was doing.”
“Still doesna make it yer fault.”
“I was punishing ye because I loved ye and I was hurt that ye didna trust me enough to tell me what yer father had asked of ye.”
“Ye were right to do that,” she cried out.
“No. He was yer father and I was a stranger.”
“Ye loved me and he didna. I knew that. I wanted him to love me,” she confessed and closed her eyes. “The only reason I stood up to him was because I finally realized that he would never love me.”
“That is not news to me,” he said softly. “Ye did something wrong. Is that what ye want me to say?”
“Aye.”
Smiling faintly, he nodded his head. “I see. Ye did something wrong. Even though yer father was manipulating ye, ye still knew that ye were doing something wrong. I was angry at ye. I punished ye. I forgive ye.”
Sloane took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She believed him. “Ye are still angry with me.”
“Aye. Ye didna trust me to protect ye, so ye left. I am angry at that.”
“Then ye are angry at the wrong thing. I feared that ye would die trying to protect me and I was almost right. I left to protect ye.”
“That wasna part of yer vows.”
“No, but I love ye,” she said simply.