Chapter 28 #2
With a small smile, Lachlan urged his horse forward. “All right. So, we both love each other and we both made mistakes. I forgive ye. Ye refuse to forgive me because ye refused to believe that I have done anything wrong. Where do we go from here?”
“I forgave myself. Now ye need to forgive yerself and we start over.”
“How do I do that? When did you forgive yourself?”
“I had a lot to think about while Blaine was torturing me.” When he winced, she shrugged. “I made a choice thinking that I was doing something good. It was a mistake and it had consequences that I couldn’t possibly foresee, but if I didn’t forgive myself then I couldn’t move on.”
“Are ye trying to say that I could not possibly foresee what would happen when I wed ye?”
“Oh.” Wrinkling her nose, she looked over at him. “Ye are going all the way back to our marriage? I thought ye were blaming yerself for punishing me too harshly.”
“What? No? I wasna saying that our wedding was a mistake. I was saying…” he trailed off when she chuckled. “Are ye enjoying yerself?”
“A little.”
When they stopped for the night, he erected one tent for the two of them. She was sore from the last stretch, so he massaged her muscles until she could stretch without wincing.
Lying down next to him, she placed a hand on his chest. Gently, he brushed his fingers through her hair. “I had this big gesture planned for when we return.”
“A large celebration?”
“No.” He frowned. “Would ye like that?”
“No.”
Sighing, he leaned over and kissed her forehead. “What did Blaine say to ye?”
“He told me that he respected me in the beginning,” she said as she pulled his arm around and rested her head on it. “That I had blossomed on MacFarlane lands. He was complimenting me. Of course, he lost all respect for me when I turned against Freya. He wasna wrong.”
“Ye didna turn against Freya,” Lachlan growled.
“I meant about the blossoming part.” She loved having his body up against hers. There was nothing like his heat, not even a fire. It warmed. It comforted. It filled her with bliss. “I was a waif when I came to ye.”
“A curious and trouble-making waif.” Closing his eyes, he slowly placed his other hand on her abdomen. “I was a fool to think that ye were delicate.”
“I’m glad that ye figured that out.” His heartbeat lulled her to sleep and she knew there was a smile on her face. He made her feel cherished.
The next day, they argued a little more, but she could see his body relaxing a little more and that old twinkle in his eye return. That night, he talked a little more easily about Blaine and Kenzy.
On the last night before they reached the keep, she turned in his arms and touched his face. “What will ye do about the Fenton clan?”
“I wondered when ye would ask me about that,” he sighed. “Do ye know what happened?”
“I spoke to Gair. I know as much as I need to. I am asking what happens now. He may not have tried to kill me, but he still sent a spy into yer camp.”
He snorted as he finished massaging her legs and settled down next to her. “Ye arena a verra good spy.”
The Fentons were not her family now, but once they had been her name and she didn’t want to see them suffer because of her father. “Will ye force them out of the alliance?” If he did, they would be vulnerable to attack.
Settling a hand on her hip, he sighed. “Not a single one of them helped ye when ye needed it, but I do believe that yer uncle will help them. I will speak with him, but I doona believe that I will abandon them.”
“Are ye doing it for me?”
“Maybe. But I am also doing it because it is the right thing to do.”
In the silence, she drank in his face. With the fire dying outside, the fading light still lit up in his eyes and she felt her heart skip a beat. Was he ready to look beyond her injuries and see her as a woman again?
“Are ye going to touch me?”
“I am touching ye.”
“Ye know what I mean.”
“Aye, I know,” he murmured and shifted just a little to brush his lips on hers.
Her toes curled at the briefest kiss. “I ache for ye, Sloane, but while ye hide it well, I know that ye are still in pain. I know when ye are lying to me and I can read yer body, so while ye want me, and I certainly want ye, we will both have to suffer until I have a bed and a little more privacy.”
“So, tomorrow night then?”
“Perhaps, depending on what yer body tells me.”
Exhaustion started to set in and she closed her eyes, but she wasn’t done convincing him. “Ye are telling me that I will have to lie to ye better to be in yer arms?”
“Ye doona lie verra well, Sloane. Not to me.”
“The one time I do want to lie to ye,” she murmured sleepily as she snuggled deeper into his arms.
“Get some sleep, my love. We will be home soon.”
Snuggling in his arms, she closed her eyes and slept.
His parents, Adair, Elspeth, Jamie, and Isla were waiting for him at the keep. Of course, they all greeted Sloane first and he didn’t stop them. They had heard what Blaine had done to her and they needed to see for themselves that she was well. He understood that all too well.
Finally, Maggie reached him and placed her hand on his cheek. There was pain in his eyes. “How are ye?”
“Proud,” he murmured as he stared at Sloane. She looked happy to be among her friends again. Happy to be home. “She is incredibly strong.”
“Because she survived Blaine?”
“Because she came home.”
After everything that had happened between them, after everything that had happened to her, she had come home. He knew now that it was never his choice. It was never anything that Gair or Freya had said or done. It was always her decision and he thanked the stars that she had made the right one.
“‘Tis about time,” Maggie murmured before she leaned over to hug her son.
As Isla and Elspeth talked to Sloane excitedly, Lachlan pulled Adair and Jamie aside.
“The door?”
“Installed this morning, although the blacksmith was verra confused,” Adair chuckled. “I doona see how this is going to woo yer wife.”
“Apparently, I doona need to woo her,” Lachlan sighed. “But that doesna mean that I won’t. And Jamie, doona think I didna notice yer hand on Isla’s back.”
Jamie frowned and shuffled his feet nervously. “I was going to wait until ye were settled to ask yer permission to marry her.”
“Ye doona need my permission.” He felt bad for the poor bastard. “Ye need hers.”
His eyes flickered just a little and Lachlan grinned. “Welcome to Clan MacFarlane where all the women are difficult but worth it. Good luck. If she decides to marry ye then ye have my blessing. Ye can spend the rest of yer life just as confused as the rest of us but possibly blissfully happy.”
“I like a challenge.”
Walking over to the women, he noticed that they weren’t looking at him like they hated him. That was nice. “Ye will rest for the remainder of the day,” he ordered Sloane quietly.
“Will I?”
“Aye, because ye are still limping and I would see ye running around and driving me mad verra soon.”
“Oh, if that is all then aye, bed for me.” There was a twinkle in her eye as he walked with her into the keep and up the stairs. “They are all mourning. Perhaps a small memorial would be nice.”
He was thinking the same thing, and he was pleased that Sloane had thought of it. “Elspeth and Kenzy were quite close. I will ask her what she thinks.”
They reached her door and she stopped. “When ye said I should go to bed, did ye mean my bed or yers?”
“I will leave that up to ye, but ye are only resting today.” Kissing her on the top of her head, Lachlan left her and opened the door to his chamber. Leaving her out in the hall, he firmly closed his door, and he started to pace.
And he waited.
After what seemed like an eternity, the adjoining door opened and she walked through. “There is a lock on my side of the door,” she said softly.
“Is there? I must fix that immediately.”
“Lachlan.” She looked like she might cry. “There is a lock on my side of the door.”
“Aye. Someone once told me that I didna understand the institution of marriage. It turned out that she was right.” Sheepishly, he ran his hand through his hair. “I was planning on groveling. I sent Adair and Jamie back to ensure that a new door was made and installed by the time that ye arrived.”
“So I could lock ye out?”
“So ye could feel in control. I feared I was hauling ye back against yer will. I wanted ye to feel safe while ye took whatever time ye needed. But then ye made yer speech on the road and I….”
“I love ye,” she whispered and wrapped her arms around him. “I love that ye wanted to do all of this for me. I love the lock, but I will never use it.”
“It will always be there as will I.”
Winding her fingers through his hair, she pulled his head down. “Ye have forgiven yerself.”
“Aye,” he admitted. It would still take time, but she was right. And now he could look forward to the rest of their life together. “Now, rest and tonight, I will show ye just how much I love ye.”
“Another lock for the door?” she teased.
“Minx.” He chuckled and leaned down to kiss her. “I had something a little different in mind.”
Lachlan adored the wonderful and amazing wife who’d come in like a sheep and turned his entire life upside down.