Chapter 6
The next few weeks are a struggle where Nathan is concerned. I try to avoid him, but it’s hard. Every time I see him in the schoolyard, he tries to talk to me. The way he looks at me, as if he really cares, kills me. He can’t care . . . can he?
Did I do the right thing? Twinges of regret grow inside me. I like him. He’s on my mind constantly. What if I should have given him a chance? Maybe I was wrong. Perhaps he's right and I’m being a coward, and my pig-headedness is stopping me from doing something that could make me happy.
I’m dreading this afternoon, as one of Jess’s school friends is hosting a swimming party, which is fine, but the adults have to get into the pool with the children.
Afterwards, there’s a party in a room upstairs - I’m scared Nathan will be there.
It’s a bloody pool party, I have to get in my bikini, and he might be there, practically naked.
I get that he’s already seen me naked, but it’s my reaction I’m worried about more.
I can’t get him out of my head as it is - if he’s there today, I’m going to have to try and keep my eyes off his lush body while I know what’s underneath his swim shorts.
The other mums will be watching him. I hate the thought of him with another woman and other women ogling him, but I have no right to be jealous.
Any fears I have are confirmed when I drive to the sports centre - who pulls up in the next space?
Yup. Jess and Lucia are pleased to see one another, chatting away, discussing what present they’ve got for the birthday girl.
I look at Nathan, and he’s looking at me with an unreadable expression on his face.
“Hi,” I say quietly and smile.
“Hey, Kate.”
Argh, it hurts my insides to hear him say my name. I'm acting like a teenager with a crush. My body is aching to be touched by him again, to have him inside me again, to hear him laugh. I've got it bad.
I speak to the girls. “Come on, girls, let’s go and get changed.”
We walk to the entrance together. I turn to Nathan. “You go and get changed if you like? Lucia can come in with me and Jess.”
He exhales. “Thanks, I didn’t want her coming into the men’s changing room with me.”
I smile at him. “You silly thing, you should have texted me, I’d have been happy to bring her.”
He shakes his head. “No, I wanted to come.”
His eyes go down my body to my feet and back to meet my eyes, then he smiles at me and winks. Fuck, I’m in total trouble here, he winked at me – I like that.
He shrugs and leans into me so that only I can hear, “Maybe I wanted to see one of the mums in her swimsuit.”
I burn red with embarrassment and walk off, leaving him behind, chuckling.
As we’re getting changed, my mind goes to Nathan, he is acting like he’s really interested in me and wants more.
Perhaps I should forget about what happened in the past and focus on how he is with me now.
What if I could be happy, really happy with him in my life?
What if I give him a chance, and it works out, and I end up with everything?
I’m going to keep an open mind about him, maybe give him a little chance, to see what happens.
I nod to myself, a weight lifted by my decision, and a little sliver of excitement has crept in.
When we walk into the pool area, I scan the area, but I can’t see him anywhere yet.
Good. I can climb in without worrying that he will be watching me and be self-conscious.
When we get into the pool, the girls go off straight away.
There are lots of floats and other toys in the water, and they go to play.
It’s not deep, they can easily touch the floor.
I stay close, keeping an eye on them when I see Rosie and Charlotte, a couple of the other mums from school.
I wade my way through the waist-deep pool to go and say hello, still keeping a constant eye on the girls.
I smile at them, “Hi guys, don’t you just love pool parties?” I say sarcastically.
Charlotte, who’s only twenty-four, shakes her head, “I swear to God, whoever invented pool parties, making parents go into the water with the children should be hung, drawn and quartered. This is my worst nightmare!”
I laugh. “It’s not exactly my idea of a good time either - everyone from school seeing me half-naked . . . not good.”
Rosie, who is slightly larger than us both, says, “It's ok for you two, you’re bloody gorgeous in your bikinis, be thankful you’re not a size eighteen and have to do it. All I need now is for Lucia’s dad to walk in and see me in my swimsuit.”
My heart speeds at the mention of Nathan. I thought that the mums had noticed him, but now I’ve had it confirmed.
“You’ve noticed Lucia’s dad have you?” I ask her.
She snorts, “Are you kidding? Have you seen him? Every mother in the schoolyard has noticed him. He’s gorgeous and single. He's built like he should be an underwear model - I know I’m married - but a girl can daydream, can’t she?”
Charlotte pipes up. “Yeah, he’s a bit old for me, but even I can see he’s gorgeous for his age! I wouldn’t say no, he's a DILF. Bet he had a good time when he was younger - in fact, I bet he’s still having a good time now.”
Yes, he is, with me a couple of weeks ago!
Rosie nods toward me. “We think he’s got a thing for you, Kate. He’s always watching you, coming to talk to you - we’ve all noticed.”
“What? Nah, our girls are close, that’s all, sometimes Lucia comes for dinner or Jess goes to his, so I’ve gotten to know him a bit.”
“I bet you have.” Charlotte laughs, nudging Rosie.
“Speak of the devil.” Rosie gestures behind me.
I turned around and immediately wished I hadn’t.
When I focus on him, my mouth goes dry - of course, he has swim shorts that hang low on his hips so that you can see his chiselled chest, his V, and his bloody treasure trail - I've had my tongue on that treasure trail. He’s obviously been in the shower before getting into the pool because his body is glistening, then.
.. if he doesn’t stop just before he climbs in and runs his hand through his hair.
Ever seen the Diet Coke Break ad? Well, I’m in it.
Every other woman thinks the same because their mouths drop open.
His glistening chest and arms are covered in tattoos.
It could be a male model photoshoot. He doesn’t realise that every female in the place is watching him, or if he does, he doesn’t seem to show it.
His eyes find Lucia. When he sees that she’s fine, they land on mine, and he gives me a wide grin.
Charlotte mutters to Rosie, “Oh my fucking God. I knew he would be like that under those work clothes!”
Rosie says back. “Holy shit! And what were we saying? He can’t take his eyes off Kate.”
I’ve seen him naked. I love that they don’t know that I've seen him naked. They think Nathan in his swim gear is good, they should see the whole package! I give him a wide smile that seems to take him back a little and stop him in his tracks, not used to getting such a nice reaction from me.
I could see him naked again if I wanted to. Maybe I could have him as a boyfriend if I wanted to. And every woman in this place wants him.
Do I want to go there? The mood I’m in today .
. . yes, I guess I do. What has come over me?
I’m happy that I wore my favourite and sexiest bikini.
It’s a black and white bikini with ties at the sides of the bottoms, and I love the way it fits me.
I do feel sexy in it, and it makes my boobs seem a bit bigger than they actually are.
He steps into the pool and makes his way to Lucia and Jess, throwing them around as they try to attack him. Generally, he's having fun, while all the women watch, happy that we’re in a swimming pool so our drool has somewhere to go.
When it’s time, we get dressed to make our way upstairs to the party room. Nathan’s already there, he pats the empty seat next to him on the bench.
“Saved you a seat.”
I smile and sit next to him. “Thanks, Nate.”
The expression on his face quickly goes dark, and he leans in so that only I can hear. “Fucking love it when you call me that. Call me only that from now on . . . please.”
I blush, looking at my hands, unable to meet his eye. I actually blush.
It’s nice to relax and laugh with him when I let my barrier down.
He’s good company when I’m not too busy worrying that he’s trying to get in my knickers.
The children are busy eating party food and playing games; they’re not bothered if we’re there or not, so I relax with Nate and enjoy his company.
If he asks me out again, I’m going to say yes. It’s much more fun being light-hearted instead of worrying constantly. He seems to like me, he’s certainly making the effort - if he wasn’t that bothered, he would have given up by now, and I bloody like him.
“So...” Nathan says, leaning back in his seat, eyeing me speculatively “What’s with your mood today?”
“What do you mean?” I ask, grinning at him.
“You’re being friendly . . . very friendly . . . flirty even. I’m wondering what I’ve done to deserve it?”
I grin and wink at him. “Maybe I'm just trying to get you to buy me a drink.” I nod to the small bar. “I’d love a latte . . . ”
He smiles at me warmly. “When I get back, I'm going to ask you out again - I'm going to take advantage of you in this mood. I want you to think about your answer while I'm at the bar, and I want you to say yes.”
He stands and makes his way to the bar.
While he’s waiting to get served, he turns around, smiles at me and turns back.
Wow! I take a deep breath. This is going well. Can I do this? Open myself up to him like this? I have to give him a bit of trust; otherwise, I'll never meet anyone if I don’t take chances. I have a feeling Nate’s pretty special.
His phone, which he’s left beside me, beeps, and I instinctively glance at it. It’s a message that appears on the home screen. It’s from someone called Maggie. I go cold when I read it.
Thanks for last night, Nathan. See you soon. Love you, M xx
What the hell . . . He was with someone last night, but is sitting here chatting me up?
A stab of jealousy quickly turns into anger.
How dare he! I was falling for this nice guy act.
I’m so stupid . . . again. I flip his phone over so he doesn’t know that I've seen it.
I straighten when he makes his way back with the drinks.
“I've put the sweetener in it for you... two, right?”
I nod and smile at him. “Thanks.” I love that he knows how I like my coffee now. Wait a minute . . . he’s a wanker – I hate that he knows how I like my coffee now!
“So . . . Kate.” He clears his throat nervously. “Have you thought about it? Would you like to go out with me sometime? Just the two of us . . . a date.”
I stare at him. There are no signs whatsoever that he feels guilty. Un – fucking – believable.
“Are you seeing anyone?” I blurt
He shakes his head. “What? No, of course not, I wouldn’t ask you out if I was.”
“It's not a good idea, Nathan, sorry. I'm going to go and check on the girls.” My voice is cold and hard. I've closed down, and he can tell. He frowns at me and shakes his head.
I walk to Jess, and after checking on her, I go to sit with Rosie and Charlotte. I glance at Nathan, and he’s sitting alone, staring at me. Why do I feel bad? He’s the one who was getting action last night, not me. Stuff him.
I managed to avoid him for the rest of the party, but I don’t like doing it, after he bought me a coffee too. Well, he shouldn’t be a cheating bastard, should he? But why is he acting hurt?