Chapter 19
Iwould be lying if I said I didn’t know fear. Before I fell, it was a concept that eluded me, but since then, I’ve come to understand the meaning of the word, yet until this moment, I can say I’ve never been gripped by the notion. Even when I allowed myself to realize what Briar is to me, fear didn’t quicken the beat of my heart or give me pause, but I feel it now, festering in my thoughts like a lethal poison, corroding everything it touches…until she leans forward and places her lips over mine.
Any fear is immediately eclipsed by my need to protect her, give her exactly what she desires, and claim her. I force myself to loosen the grip I have on the back of her neck, holding her in place, but it only allows her more movement to throw her leg over my waist and straddle my hips. All sense of decency I thought I possessed evaporates in an instant, and only the drive to sink into her in every way possible remains.
When a tearing sound tries to register in my thoughts, I shove it aside, and I’m rewarded with the slick feeling of her cunt low on my belly. There’s a murmur of sound, but I have no concept of the words. I’m too far gone for that. Briar is nearly mine.
There’s a moment when I think maybe I was too hasty and should have listened to Ziv’s warning. That moment comes when Ziv manages to rip my pants off while I’m straddling his waist. It shouldn’t even be possible, but it is. Even my undergarments are gone, leaving me naked, other than my socks. There’s so much going on, I feel as if I’m in sensory overload as my mind tries to process all the sensations. There’s the burn at my hip, where the material was ripped away, the cool air on my thighs, the smoothness of his stomach under me, and the heat, but I think that’s coming from me. We’re no longer kissing, and I’m not even sure when we stopped. Our mouths are still close, and it feels intimate, but there’s no way I could have concentrated on kissing with everything else that is going on.
Ziv runs the hand on the nape of my neck down my back, making me squirm into his touch. It’s almost embarrassing how much he affects me, but the thought evaporates when he slides his fingers all the way down my ass and slips them between my legs from behind.
I jolt forward from the unexpected touch, making our noses bump. “Sorry,” I mumble, but the word ends on a moan when he finds my clit and circles it with the tip of his finger. I’m not going to pretend I never touched myself, but it never felt like this, not that I risked it often. I was too worried about getting caught and what might happen if I did.
His entire hand is between my legs, but it’s like I can feel him everywhere. Every nerve ending in my body is alive and centered where he’s touching me. My hips start to roll in sync with his movements until I’m grinding down on his palm, looking for a little more of that amazing friction so the pleasure will crowd out all the other thoughts in my head. I’ve been terrified of sex for as long as I understood what it was, but that had everything to do with who wanted it from me, not the act itself. That’s not a concern now, but apparently, it isn’t easy to just decide sex isn’t something to be afraid of anymore, so there’s still an edge of panic invading my thoughts.
As if sensing my whirling feelings, Ziv reaches up and grasps the back of my neck, pulling me down so his lips are against my throat. “You’re so warm, little flower, burning up from the inside out. I’ll make it better.” His voice is a deep rasp, sending a thrill of excitement all the way down my spine. I turn my nose into his neck, taking in his sweet scent until I’m almost dizzy with desire. My mouth waters. It would be so damn easy to bite him again. Would he even stop me? He didn’t seem to mind last time, but that was before I knew he was my mate.
My hips start to move faster. I’m so close to coming on his hand. My eyes close, increasing my other senses, just as he licks a trail up my neck. My inner muscles clench, and it sets off a cascade of tremors as I climax. To stop myself from sinking my teeth into his neck, I bite my lip, tasting blood as a soft moan escapes my lips.
Ziv stills abruptly, even his hand ceases movement. The only sound is the soft pants I can’t seem to keep within my chest. I begin to pull back so I can see his face, but he sits forward at the same moment. I slide down his chest as the backs of my thighs land on his. His chin tips down as he follows me with his eyes.
He reaches up and swipes his thumb under my lip. It’s the same hand he had between my legs, so he smells like me. He examines the smear of red on his thumb before slipping it into his mouth. Something deep within me relishes the idea of him having some part of me inside him. My lips part, and my breathing picks up again.
“You taste like home,” he rumbles with his eyes locked on mine. That sentiment melts something inside me, washing away my lingering reservations. I wish I knew what to say in return, something sweet and thoughtful, but I can’t get a word past the lump in my throat, and I wouldn’t know what to say even if I could.
Ziv doesn’t seem to need any response as he slants his mouth over mine and begins kissing me again. It’s slow, seductive, and so damn sexy, I find myself longing for his hand between my legs again…or something more. I circle my arms around his neck and pull myself up using his shoulders so our mouths are even. At first, I can taste myself on his tongue, dark and musky, but he overwhelms my senses, and then all I can taste and feel is him.
I feel him between my legs again, but this time, he’s unlacing his pants, and I’m the lucky recipient of the tender, accidental brushes of his knuckles, or at least that’s what I think until he slips two fingers between my folds, running them from back to front. I jerk a little when he grazes my clit, since I’m so sensitive, but when he takes those same two fingers and teases me deeper, I tense for a different reason. The slight pressure ends when he removes his hand from between my legs.
My body instantly relaxes against his, and I sink back into the kiss I’ve managed to keep up with. His hands glide up my sides, his thumbs running up my stomach and his fingers curled around my back, making me feel tiny and delicate. That’s not new, but feeling safe is. I’m not worried he’s going to crush my ribs or throw me against the wall. I relax into his embrace, and when I lower, I feel his skin against the backs of my thighs.
The thread of worry tries to invade my mind again, but I shove it down, instead focusing on how he makes me feel and what my future could be if I make it out of Ivy alive.
When Ziv’s thumbs brush over my nipples, my mind goes completely blank for a millisecond, and then I kiss him deeper and pull him closer. He allows me to set the pace for the kiss. The urge to bite him is getting so strong, I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to resist.
While I’m distracted by him toying with my nipple, he slips his other hand between my legs again, and I feel his tip skim against me. He’s hard, but his skin is so soft against mine.
Ziv makes that rumbly sound in his chest and pinches my nipple roughly. The bud is still throbbing when he removes his hand from my breast and grabs my hip. I know what he’s going to do, and my heart skips a beat.
I pull back from the kiss and stare directly into his silver eyes. “Ziv.” His name is just a whisper on my lips, but it’s laced with so much.
“Ziveet, little mate,” he corrects as he flexes his fingers, tightening his grip on my hip. That’s the name he told the headmistress not to invoke.
“Ziveet,” I repeat, very much liking the fact that I can use it while she can’t. His lids lower another fraction, making him look sleepy and sexy. “What if…” I murmur, unable to voice the rest of my question.
He leans his forehead against mine, his eyes falling shut. “It will hurt, little flower, but just for a moment.”
“No, not that.” I shake my head. That is a concern, but not one big enough to stop me. “What if…I’m not worthy?”
His eyes snap open, and his fingers tighten before he shoves me down, impaling me on his dick. The pain is real and sharp. I gasp, but it almost sounds like a reverse yell. In the next heartbeat, he kisses the side of my neck tenderly, then he sinks his teeth in.
White-hot agony steals my sight, leaving me blind to everything. As soon as the pain registers, I open my mouth to scream, and then it disappears, making me wonder if that really was pain or something else altogether.
My vision is slow to return, much slower than my other senses. The first thing I register is Ziv’s breathing, which matches my own heavy pants. I can feel each huff against my skin while his teeth are still embedded in my neck. The slow, steady beat of my heart is next. I know instinctively it, too, is synced with Ziv’s. He’s probably the only reason I’m not hyperventilating.
The sweet smell of cherries surrounds us, relaxing my limbs like some sort of spell, but I know it’s not. This is a different kind of magic, one I never imagined I was capable of experiencing.
Ziv shifts beneath me, and the fuzzy feeling of detachment snaps like a rubber band, leaving me with the monumental task of processing every overloaded sensation I’m experiencing. A wail flies from my lips as absolute pleasure assaults my senses. It’s more than an orgasm—it’s euphoric, but not just for my body. The pleasure touches my mind, body, and soul.
I feel him then, between my legs. I’m full, but there’s no pain. We fit together perfectly.
His lips move as he opens his mouth, releasing me from his bite. A thin trail of blood weeps from the wound, only making it an inch or two before I feel the tip of his tongue dart out and lave over my neck.
“There are no what-ifs,” he murmurs, his lips still brushing my skin. It shouldn’t be possible for something so simple to feel so good, but it does. My skin comes alive everywhere he touches me. I’m too far gone to agree he was right, to acknowledge there are no what-ifs between us. He is mine, and I am his.
I feel his palm on the back of my head, pushing me toward his neck. “Your turn. Take your fill, little flower. I want to know my blood and my cock are deep inside you.”
My lips brush the side of his neck, and he shudders before his fingers tighten into a fist around my hair. An ache hits my stomach, as if trying to urge me to bite him faster, but I hold off, savoring the moment and his reactions to my soft kisses and caresses. His skin tastes even better than he smells—sweet and warm. My mouth is watering by the time I actually part my lips. Ziv tightens his grip in my hair and around my back, effectively locking me in place as I prepare to return his bond mark. This moment will tie us together indefinitely. That knowledge spurs me to action, and I strike just as quickly as I did in the arena.
Ziv groans as I take my first pull from his neck. His essence explodes on my tongue, and the circuit that was already inching toward connection fuses completely. His hips begin to move in earnest as he crushes me against his body. Fire fills my veins, warming me from the inside and sating the endless hunger.
Another wave of pleasure, this time centered in my core, assaults me, forcing me to jerk my head back and cry out. I feel Ziv’s blood dripping down my chin and see a trail racing down his chest. Even while in the throes of ecstasy, I can’t take my eyes off the tiny red stream racing to where we are connected. There is something perfectly fitting about knowing our blood is mingling inside and out.
Stealing my attention, Ziv dips his head and presses his mouth to mine. His kiss is deep and controlling, and he tastes my tongue as if he can’t get enough of me. I match his fervor with my own. In a swift move, he rolls us so I end up flat on my back with him looming over me.
Huge black wings unfurl from his back, proving him to be the fallen god I suspected from the beginning. With our hips still locked together, he traces the thorns tattooed on my neck and shoulder, trailing down my arm as if memorizing each branch, but seconds later, matching markings appear on his neck, shoulder, and arm.
“How?” is the only word I can get out as he continues to assault me with pleasure, pushing so deeply into me, I wonder if pain even exists anymore.
“I am a god.” He leans down, kissing my lips with the tenderest of touches. “Everything you are is mine to take.” The black, thorny vines I know so well solidify on his skin, creating a visual link between us.
I trace the familiar lines with the tips of my fingers, and a smile tugs at my lips. “That may be true, Ziveet, but you are just as much mine as I am yours.”
He lowers himself over me until I feel his entire body pressed against me, crushing me between him and the cushions until he is all I can see and feel. “No what-ifs,” he states as he nuzzles his nose against mine. I’m so distracted by the sweet gesture, I scarcely notice him taking a hold of my hands and lifting them above my head until I’m fully splayed out under him.
“This is to make sure you never forget.” He kisses me so softly, I lift my head off the mattress in a bid to deepen the affection, but I drop back to the lounge when he slams into me roughly, and I lose my breath. The onslaught doesn’t stop there. He uses me and makes me feel and think things I never imagined possible, yet I already know I will crave every touch again and again. He is addicting and insatiable.
My eyes fall closed for the tenth or maybe hundredth time. My exhaustion is fickle, only lasting until he forces yet another orgasm from me or teases me until I’m a mess, begging for more. This time, when my eyelids lower, he kisses my temple before placing his wrist over my mouth. “Take,” he rasps out while still fucking me.
My mouth opens, but the desire to bite him is as weak as I am. I cry out again as another orgasm overrides my system, arching my spine and making my eyes roll back in my head. He pushes his wrist against my teeth, and his blood fills my open mouth.
I gasp as his teeth sink into my shoulder at the same moment, connecting us in every way imaginable, so even our thoughts mingle. The pleasure and contentment amplify to a level I know no mere mortal could ever experience unaided. The connection only lasts a heartbeat before my mind can’t handle it and goes blank.
I think he fucked me into the void.