Chapter 20
The entire institute is on edge after the discovery of the body. Instructors are making their presence much more known, while the novices are walking around like they think they will be next. Everyone is looking for Briar, including me. I haven’t seen her since yesterday, when Ziv took her from her room early in the morning.
I’ve heard the whispers—that my creature is a killer. With each muttered rumor, her status morphs into something they fear and respect. It places an entirely different kind of mark on her back. The other novices will see her as a threat, as someone they need to be wary of, but it will likely make her competition in their eyes too.
I move through the halls like a specter. The only acknowledgment I get are people stepping out of my way to make sure I don’t get near enough to touch them. They try to pretend it’s not intentional, that they need to cross the hall at that exact moment or leave the area altogether, but it’s obvious to me and anyone else paying attention.
It doesn’t take me long to reach my destination—the instructors’ wing. The novices are not permitted in this area, and most don’t even know how to get here, but it’s not my first visit. I’ve made it my mission to explore every inch of Ivy and learn all her secrets.
I’m tempted to use my shadow form to slip into Ziv’s room, but the minute I step foot in the hall, I can feel his wards gnawing at me to turn around and go back the other way. They are much stronger than the ones on the restricted library.
Gritting my teeth, I lift my arms and pound my fist on the wood. If the desire to find my creature on the other side wasn’t so strong, I might not have had the fortitude to do it. My skin is crawling, my body demanding I leave.
There isn’t a sound before the door opens a minute later, which is a good thing, because I’m not sure I could have knocked again. It’s only when I see Ziv, rumpled and sneering, that I realize I’ve backed ten feet from the door.
“Just because I can’t touch her doesn’t mean you can keep her from me.” Getting close to the door is easy now, since her scent is enough to override the ward the fallen placed on his threshold.
He leans against the frame, completely nude and smelling of my creature. There’s dried blood on his shoulder, his, and a smear on his cock, hers. A spike of jealousy tightens my throat.
No wonder I haven’t seen them in over twenty-four hours—he completed his bond with her. My next inhale of their mingled scents feels like a knife to my sternum. I will never know the complete peace he has now.
I’ve never been so tempted to kill anyone in my life. The only thing that stops me from lunging forward and ending his life is knowing it would hurt Briar, and I can’t do that.
“I’m not keeping her from you,” he argues without hostility. There’s a definite shift in his demeanor when it comes to me. I suppose that’s what being bonded does for you.
“Where is she?” I try to look around him, but the big bastard fills most of the doorway. He leans to the side, turning his neck to get his own view of Briar. She’s sprawled out on her belly over a mass of cushions piled on the floor. It’s probably easier for him than trying to fit his ass on furniture. I step forward on instinct. The draw to be close to her is getting harder to resist every time I see her. I can’t help but wonder if maybe things would be easier for me if Ziv took her from me. The tightening of my throat and chest makes the question moot. I would go insane before the loss of her would ever be easier.
Ziv steps to the side, and it’s not because he’s afraid of me getting too close, he just makes enough room for me to move past him. I hover several feet away while she sleeps soundly. “Is she?—”
“Fine,” the fallen interjects as he closes the door. “I’m impressed you could even knock.”
“It was only because she was in here,” I admit without shame.
“I figured it was you or Syrinx.” He saunters past me, and I realize I missed something about his appearance when I got hung up on the blood earlier. He has markings that perfectly match my creature’s thorns. I do a double take of her, just to confirm what I already know. His markings are new. I’ve never known a god, even a fallen one, to desecrate their body in such a way, but I’ve never known another that would allow scars to remain on their body either.
As if he can feel my eyes on his back, Ziv looks over his shoulder and about knocks the wind out of me with a single sentence. “I told her about you.”
A strange sense of euphoria blasts through me, only to be squashed by the realization of what it means. “You what?” I shout, then I glance over at Briar, who thankfully hasn’t stirred.
“She knew someone was watching her. I had to tell her something,” he answers belatedly after emerging from another room with pants on, shrugging into a shirt. It’s easier to look at him with clothes on, but it doesn’t dampen her scent all over him. Not even a bath would ease that.
“So she doesn’t know about me, she knows of me,” I deduce. That should make me happy, but it doesn’t.
Ziv stretches out on the cushions right next to my creature. My eyes are glued to his hands, which are already tangling in her long, dark hair. “She knows exactly who you are.”
“You told her?—”
“You’re her mate, yes,” he interrupts again. This time, it’s at least useful so we don’t have to continue this guessing game.
“Why the hell did you think that was a good idea?”
“She needs someone to protect her when I can’t, someone she can learn to trust.” He makes it all sound so simple.
“Yes, but now she will also have to deal with knowing what we could be,” I grit through my teeth.
The fallen shrugs one giant shoulder. I could strangle him with my bare hands, preferably so I could be certain to kill him. “There are things you should know about Briar. I’m a little surprised you don’t already know, considering your curiosity.”
“What things?” I hate feeling like he knows more than I do, especially when he clearly does.
“Tell me what you’ve heard about her.” The arrogant bastard tips his chin up at me.
“That she’s a killer,” I snap back hastily with no finesse.
“She didn’t kill anyone.” He strokes her hair gently, but he doesn’t hide the hint of disappointment in his tone.
“I know that, but they don’t need to. Maybe it will keep the vultures away from her.” I lower myself to sit on the end of the cushions, far enough away that I can’t touch her, but close enough that it almost feels like I could.
“Did you hear how they think she killed the other novice?” There’s too much interest in his voice for me to ignore the question.
“No, I didn’t bother to learn. Usually when someone dies, they blame it on me, and they are always wrong. I assumed she got the blame because she’s the unknown factor.”
“She was set up.” His heavy brows rise, showing the indignation he feels.
“Set up how?”
“Whoever killed the novice made it look like Briar did it.”
“How? Why?”
“They killed them in a way her kind is known to kill.”
“Her kind?” I repeat with a sneer.
Ziv licks his lips. It’s a big tell. He’s buying time because he’s unsure of something. I just don’t know what. “Briar is a void,” he states, his words flat, but only because he forced them to be. The swirling in his eyes gives away more than his tone, but then his words sink in.
“A void?” I question. It’s not a term I’m familiar with.
He looks down at her, then back up at me. “She’s not affected by magic.”
“Huh?” I know I heard him correctly, but I don’t think I understand what he means.
“Briar has never been affected by magic.” His hand bursts into flames, and he strokes it over her cheek tenderly before I even think to stop him. I hop up, ready to kill him for hurting her, but her skin is unblistered. There isn’t even a red mark left behind.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I growl but stand there helplessly. If I get close enough to kill him, he could hurt her, but if I don’t risk it, he could do it anyway.
“I needed to be the one to tell you, so you didn’t learn it from someone else and try to touch her. I don’t know what will happen if you place your hands on her, demon, and I’m not willing to risk it.” He’s leaning over her now, his teeth bared as if he would kill me where I stand. I understand the feeling.
“Touch her? I’m not going to touch her,” I scoff.
“You’ll want to. How could you not? She’s perfect and made even more so because she’s unaffected by magic. You’ll always wonder what if.” There’s so much emphasis on his final words, I can’t help but let the idea play out. What if I could touch her? What if she is unaffected by my magic? Then I see the image of her dying in my mind, writhing in pain, and I shake the notion of what-if away like the nightmare it is.
“No, it’s not possible. No one survives my curse—no one!” I let him hear the finality in my tone. There’s no room for doubt, not when it comes to her.
“We’re on the same page,” he confirms.
“Then why did you even tell her about me?”
“Because she needed to know she is safe with you.”
“She didn’t need to know anything about me.” Why do I hate admitting that out loud?
“Yes, she does. She needs to know she can trust you when you’re the one watching over her.”
“She didn’t need to know I was watching over her at all.”
“She did,” he argues. “She already suspected you were following her.”
“Only because she got tangled up with Corin and I had to intervene.”
“She mentioned that. Where were you?”
“Sixth floor, west wing.”
“How did she end up over there?” He continues to pet my creature, and I’ve almost gotten to the point where I can pretend to ignore it.
“She was either searching for something or wandering around aimlessly. I’d bet it was the latter.”
“And Corin, what was she up to?”
“I couldn’t stick around to find out. I had to get her out of trouble.” I gesture to Briar, even though it’s more than obvious I’m speaking about her.
“She does have an abysmal sense of direction. I wonder if Syrinx knows Corin was snooping around the restricted libraries,” Ziv muses out loud. The fact that he didn’t try to conceal what is in that area proves he already assumed I knew, or he’s trying to show he trusts me.
“She didn’t seem too happy that Briar happened upon her.”
“Interesting, but she’s not important right now, Briar is.”
“You’re the one asking questions about the instructor,” I remind him.
Getting right back on topic, he adds, “Syrinx wants Briar working with the other novices and instructors. You’ll have to be with her when I can’t be, which is another reason she needed to know who you are.”
I knew this was an eventuality. Most of us are dropped right into the deep end of the institute, but it feels different, knowing it’s Briar who will have to fend for herself. Well, she’ll never truly be by herself because the fallen is right—I will be at her side. Maybe it is better she knows who I am.
I examine her sleeping features. What-if filters through my mind, but I shove the idea away just as fast as it materializes. Every minute I spend near her will be torture, but I wouldn’t give up even a second.
“How much does she know about?—”
“She knows what you would be to her if?—”
“If I wasn’t cursed,” I interrupt, and Ziv nods once.
“She’s na?ve. She believes your magic won’t affect her. Don’t be surprised if she tempts you to touch her.”
I spin around and scrub my hands over my face, but it doesn’t get the image of my creature on her knees, begging for me to touch her, out of my head.
“After the trials, when I know she is safe, I will kill you if you choose.”
The offer sounds cruel and heartless, but in truth, it’s the kindest thing he could do for me. I know Ziv can keep her safe after the games, so there will be no point in me sticking around after that. It’s still not an easy pill to swallow. “How gracious,” I gripe.
“I didn’t say it wouldn’t benefit me, demon, but know the offer stands, even if she hates me for a century or two for it.”
“A century or two?” I snort, no one would care about me for a fraction of that time.
“It would be helpful if you didn’t allow her to become too attached.”
“I bet it would be.” A dark chuckle emanates from my chest.
“I’m only thinking of her,” he deadpans, and I realize for the very first time, the fallen is capable of emotions beyond the desire to cause pain and kill. He’s trying to make light of the situation. In another lifetime, I might appreciate the humor, but now, it just fucking sucks.
“I hope she does hate you for it, but thank you.” I make sure to meet his eyes when I say this, allowing him to see the truth in every word.
Ziv gives me another nod of acknowledgment, and talk of my death ceases as if it never happened. “I found her father.” His subject change is swift and welcome.
“Did he survive the encounter?” I retake my seat on the edge of the pillows.
“Just barely,” he sneers with open disgust. “One gutting nearly killed him.”
“Where is he now?”
“In a chamber about a hundred feet under the oldest cemetery in Osier, where all the rot of the dead can weep on him.”
I wince at the imagery. “You’re kind of sick in the head.”
“Just wait until he gets thirsty enough to drink the moisture from the walls.”
I shudder in revulsion. The gods really are cruel bastards.
“It’s far better than what he deserves,” Ziv defends as if I censured him.
“I don’t disagree, I just never would have thought of it. Does she know?”
“Not the details, but she did say she wanted to watch me make him eat his own tongue.” There’s a strange expression on the fallen god’s face. It might be his version of a smile, but I can’t say for certain.
“I need to know more about why someone would set her up and what we’re going to do about it.” I settle back into the cushions, more relaxed than I’ve been in days, but that’s not saying much, considering I still feel like I’m going to fly apart at the seams.
“My assumption would be they did it to get rid of her, or at the very least draw attention to what she may be capable of. I don’t know who’s behind it yet, but I will find out, and when I do, they will no longer be a threat to anyone.”
“What is she capable of?” It’s hard to think of my delicate creature as deadly, especially when she’s sleeping.
“I’m not sure, but if she’s anything like the other known void, then a great many things.”