Soul Memories #3
Even though I was struggling to get my bearings, I reached over the edge of the tall ditch to grab Seb’s T-shirt and pulled as hard as my uncooperative body could.
Finally, Seb was on top of me until I rolled over, placing him on the ground next to me.
Then I rushed back to the ditch, tossing myself over the edge to help.
A curse echoed in the night as someone helped me to my feet. “Just as stubborn as your old man.”
Styx was an angel. I was sure of that. Even the raindrops shined brightest for him. I’d seen him get shot—killed. But I was beyond grateful that Noma sent him there to help me. In my out-of-body experience, I told him, “I missed you, Uncle Styx.”
Styx and I were able to unbuckle Finn and free his pinned leg, drag him from the car, and shove him out of the ditch.
Then, as we pried open the rear door behind where I had been sitting, Styx said, “Steady your feet and catch your friends.” The angel was correct.
As soon as I got the door opened, Ethan rolled out, causing a slight avalanche of bodies.
Gage rolled out next, Sarah following, landing us both on the ground on top of the boys.
I was too weak to be much help, so the angel helped guide the fall.
Inhaling against my chest, Sarah’s eyes began to open. “Johnny?”
Sadly, I watched Styx climb out of the ditch and disappear. I already missed him as I answered Sarah. “It’s me.”
From under us, Gage and Ethan began grumbling things like, “Where am I? Who the fuck is sitting on me?”
As I attempted to slide Sarah and myself off of them, I explained, “Car accident. Ditch. Climb.”
Suddenly, everyone was scrambling to their feet, and we boys were shoving Sarah up the ditch. Once to the top, she spun around. “Where’s Caleb?”
Ethan and Gage were already halfway up, peeking over the edge. Hanging on the side of the dirt wall, Ethan looked down at me. “Only Seb and Finn.”
They both dropped back down to help me search the car to no avail. Caleb wasn’t in the car or around it. Our hands searched to feel if he was trapped underneath the vehicle. Nothing but tree debris.
This made no sense. “He’s nowhere to be found.”
Like me, Gage and Ethan blinked, trying to clear our heads.
Gage turned to the dirt wall, preparing for another climb. “Where could he be?”
We all climbed back out and began another search.
I think this was when dread finally broke through shock, confusion, and minor head injuries.
I rushed to Seb and Finn, lightly smacking their faces.
“Guys, wake up.” As soon as eyes opened, both nodding, telling me they were okay, I stood. “Can’t find Caleb.”
They scrambled to their feet, stumbling and bumping into each other. “What? Are you serious?”
It was so black within the trees that Gage and Ethan had already pulled out cellphones for light.
Sarah didn’t. She was circling herself with an expression of gut-wrenching concern. “Caleb?”
Lost, she was already so lost for him. I grabbed her hand and held it, like she had for me, so many times. I shook it to get her attention, then stared deep into her eyes.
Squeezing my fingers and refusing to let go, she gave me a nod. Hand in hand, we searched for our friend. Phone lights scanned high and low. Many voices called out with no reply to be heard. Across the street, down more ravines, around trees, no Caleb in sight.
All meeting in the middle, back at Bertha, with no Caleb found, panic began to set in. Sarah’s hand shook in mine. “Johnny, where is he?”
My chest panted as my eyes searched for a place we may have missed.
Then, down the road, I caught sight of an intense collection of dancing rain.
It was where I had seen the taillights. It had been where we had driven past. I started to suspect it was near where the impact had happened.
Where the powerful spin had begun… “No.”
Feet heavier than they had ever been, I pulled Sarah as I ran down the road, fellow fosters on my heels.
Before we even found Caleb, Sarah began to scream. She knew. She knew a door had flung open while the car had spun so violently. She knew what we would see. His body was contorted but his eyes opened for her. He choked up blood as she fell to her knees by his side. “Caleb!”
In the background of my spiraling mind, I heard Finn calling Dale, shouting where we were. Maybe it barely registered because I was consumed with Sarah lifting Caleb’s upper body into her arms, just like I had Noma. Please no.
Sarah wiped at the blood seeping from Caleb’s mouth as if she could save him by making space for him to properly breathe.
Horror in his eyes, he watched her. She was the epitome of bravery.
She even smiled at him. “You’re okay. You’re okay.
I have you.” Her dripping tears landed on his neck as he nodded to her.
Mud smeared his forehead as she pushed away his bangs. “And I won’t let go.”
She didn’t.
Sarah held him through his very last breath…
She held Caleb until Dale appeared, gently prying him from her arms.
1 ? “Let’s Get Lost” — Beck & Bat for Lashes
2 ? “I Need You” — M83
3 ? “Fuel to Fire” — Agnes Obel