Peaceful Perceptions #3
When I heard Kristen’s tires pull into the driveway, I stopped screaming, but my fury continued.
I glared at her as if she were the epitome of the worst. And when a car followed hers, the sun almost blinding off the windshield, I met that light head-on with my harsh stare, making sure this new couple was getting an inkling of how impossible I was going to be for them.
I was going to be their biggest mistake.
Think you want a ‘kid’. Get a taste of this sinner.
Kristen was already out of her car and coming up the driveway, her head down.
That’s right, you coward. Don’t look me in the eye.
I must have appeared deranged. Only the driver’s side door of the new foster parents opened. The setting sun was blinding, leaving only a man to be a dark shadow, but I could see he was big. Tall. Wide shoulders.
No problem, fucker. The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
I don’t know when I slipped my knuckles on, but I had. So, with two fists and a panting chest, I was ready to greet my new—
The shadow evaporated and the sun shined on… Uncle Styx.
He hadn’t been an angel, after all.
Somehow, he had survived and come for me. I’d been found.
Stumbling back, I should’ve fallen to the ground, but Dale wouldn’t let that happen. His chest hit my back. He didn’t offer arms to catch me. Probably not sure if I would strike or not, but he was there. As he had always been.
Dale, I’m so fucking sorry. I wasn’t capable of saying it aloud, but in my heart, I felt sad that my rage and grief had torn into him in recent days.
In complete shock, my brain in overload mode, I turned and faced him. I blinked, realizing we were now eye to eye. When had I grown so much? How had I not noticed until now?
Dale’s gaze did its best to speak to me. Most of all, it begged for patience and understanding. He said, “Until your mind can catch up, let your feet carry you.”
He was telling me I didn’t have much time. In front of his chest, to not be seen, he cautiously motioned to all of those around us. How, all of my sinners were present. Eyes glued to us.
Dale whispered, “Kristen is breaking every law, again.”
Shame was an emotion that slipped past my dissipating rage and now confusion. As with Caleb, these adults were facing more prison time to try and save us. Why they were doing it at this moment, I wasn’t sure yet, but had to trust. “Yes, sir.”
Yes, there was joy that Uncle Styx had located me, but I still felt stiff. I felt stiff as a board. My skin felt as if I had been whipped to my salt bones. Rigid, I backed away, offering a simple wave to fellow fosters. I even mouthed a goodbye. Speaking it out loud would’ve killed me.
Bandaged hands mimicking mine lifted and waved, as if all were in as much shock as me.
Facing my dead uncle, I prayed Dale was right. That my feet would carry me.
Uncle Styx, closing the trunk, studied me.
Each step felt like bare feet walking over hot coals. What was happening? Where were we going? Who else was alive? Where had Uncle Styx been this whole time? Is he even an uncle? When was my life going to stop being an insane roller-coaster ride from hell?
“Johnny!”
I turned to see Sarah running… and I caught her in my arms.
Like the comfort her holding my hand always brought, her body was the only thing that could pull me from this trance. Within seconds, I exhaled in relief, feeling Maddox returning to myself. Maybe that is because she had come to learn me so well.
I lifted her, needing this connection before I didn’t have another opportunity.
As her legs wrapped around my waist, she whispered, “Styx?”
Amazingly, she remembered my nightmare and put the pieces together.
Holding her tight, so fucking proud of her smarts, I bent over, speaking into her ear, desperately. “I’ll be okay. You stay strong. You hear me? You keep being a badass bitch and fight your way back to me.”
Wet cheeks rubbed the side of my crying face as she nodded endlessly. “I will, Johnny. I will. I will. I will…”
Standing straight, I knew she wasn’t going to release me.
Gage had promised to watch over me, so I asked him to help carry this pain. It was gutting me because I couldn’t force Sarah from me and he knew it as I spoke just two words, holding my gaze with a curt nod. “Take her.”
Fighting such emotions, he hugged me with her between us. “Love you, man.” Then pried her off me.
Sarah flailed, fighting the separation… until Ethan snatched her close, holding her in his arms and whispering into her ear. Whatever he said, it worked. She clung to him, nodding.
I remembered that first day Blue arrived here. At the table, Ethan had watched her grip my hand. The look on his face. A longing so deep and swift I thought I imagined it.
But I didn’t.
They would be okay, too. I had to believe it.
I couldn’t look back anymore. My ability to leave was caving. So, I got in the car, slammed the door, then growled to Uncle Styx, “Drive.”
As wheels spun underneath me, I left some of the best people I would ever know behind.
1 ? “Believe in Me” — Jason Tarver & Hugo Russo
2 ? “FOUND” — Matt Hansen