Peaceful Perceptions #2
Every foster child probably waits a mental eternity for such words, but I had found true diamonds in the rough.
Like Dad and Grandpa before that, I now had lifers, yet they had no idea who I truly was.
Johnny Watts was only a name that I would, as soon as of age, be shedding to honor the men whose blood pumped in my veins.
Once eighteen, Johnny Watts would no longer exist. Therefore, if these fellow fosters wanted to ever find me after they also became their own, how would they?
If I dared tell them my true name, would that put them in danger as it did Noma’s friend?
Dad’s brothers? I could never do that to these Misfits.
Noma did her best to protect her people. I would do the same.
“I have an idea.” I held up the tissue, hiding the razor.
Finn lifted a daring brow. “I am intrigued.”2
With a grinning Finn following me through the living room, that was now a bit of a war zone for Dale and a crying Harmony, I didn’t slow my stride. “Sinners, come with me.”
As if willing to follow me anywhere, they all gave Dale a shitty look then silently fell in line with me and Finn.
Outside, no questions were asked as I led them to Caleb. Standing next to his unmarked grave, I faced them. Sarah’s face was beet red as she told me, “Tomorrow, Johnny. You leave tomorrow!”
That was okay. All I needed was tonight.
Gage and Ethan were pacing like caged tigers.
Sebastian stared at me as if expecting the earth to open and swallow me whole.
Oh, my dear friends. For a moment, I actually felt guilty for becoming such a force in their lives. Had I set them up for failure? To count on me only to let them down?
“The day my dad died in a bridge explosion, I was blown into the air and landed—” Don’t give too much away. “—in an ocean.” I rubbed the back of my neck before holding up my disfigured hand.
No one was moving now. I had their undivided attention.
I blew out a breath, then admitted, “I should’ve died, too, but…” I lifted my chin almost as if offering it to be punched. “…I was saved by, what I believed to be, a… mermaid.”
Silence held us now. The gazebo hanging lights shown in the night like wings against my sinners’ backs. Every face showed how hard they were all trying to piece together what I just told them.
I shrugged. “To this day, I see sparkles in any water I come into contact with.” I gestured to the sky. “Rain.” I gazed at Sarah’s wet face. “Tears.” I peered at my peers. “Every time you take a sip of water.”
As if I were a living god, Sarah plopped to the ground, staring up at me.
I took a knee in front of her. “Do you think I’m nuts?”
Blinking, she shook her head.
A meaningful smile crossed my lips. “That makes one of us.” I sat down on the grass.
“I’ve doubted my sanity ever since. I’ve doubted how much I miss her.
” Sebastian sat, entranced. “How much I long for her. Like the saltwater she swims in is part of my bones.” Gage and Ethan sat down, completely consumed.
I looked to Finn. “I’ve doubted… how much I have loved her.
” He inhaled as if I had finally made sense to him, then he sat down too.
With all the adoration I felt for my Misfits, I explained, “So, if magic like that can exist in this world, believe we have a chance to find each other again.” I opened my other hand and removed the tissue, exposing the razor. “I swear it.” And cut my palm.
It felt like time stood still as Sarah reached out for the blade, sliced her hand, then held it to mine. “In heart and blood.”
I jolted. “That’s what Noma and I used to say to each other.” It felt right. Full circle. A moment I would cherish like the woman who raised me.
She squeezed my hand tighter, then released it to search her foster brothers’ faces.
Seb took the blade, no hesitation, and sliced his hand. Then held it up for mine.
I met him in the middle, palm to palm, promising, “And our Baby Blue.”
Tears filled his determined eyes, and he delivered a nod, then released me.
Ethan took the blade next, repeating the process.
As our hands clung and hung between us, he said, “My brother.”
Man, it was hard not to cry. “My brother.”
Gage, when he cut himself, there was a silent promise I could feel between us. I don’t think he understood it at the time, but one day we would both get it. As our hands stayed together, he said, “I want to watch over you.”
Not knowing how much this would make sense in our future, I accepted. “I would appreciate that.”
When Finn sliced his hand, he stared at the cut in amazement, then told me, “I won’t ever cut again.”
So. Fucking. Proud.
I snatched his bloody hand to mine. “What a great choice.”
Something shifted in us all that night. A bond that would withstand the test of time. Withstand broken promises and hearts. And withstand every challenge on our paths.
Too soon, the night was over, and we were having our last meal together, a breakfast that rivaled any Harmony had ever cooked for us.
She cooked more bacon than I’d seen since my arrival.
I knew her guilt was eating her alive. I was too pissed to care, though.
This day felt like a Life Date. And it, again, was bringing death.
Maybe not in the sense of having another funeral to attend, but in the sense of leaving so many behind.
Once again, I was facing an unknown future.
Although the Misfits and I had shared a night we were so blessed to have, it didn’t mean reality wasn’t cruel.
Deep down, I feared there was a strong chance I wouldn’t see any of them ever again.
And we all knew it.
Even my packed bags by the door were doubting what was coming next.
I’d thrown everything I owned into them before I stomped downstairs, only caring about the one article of clothing I’d long since outgrown: the sweatshirt that still, even after all this time, faintly smelled like the woman I would always love and miss. Noma…
Again, many forks pushed food around their plates, but I did the opposite.
I inhaled food while jabbing hearts. “Bette’ fill my bell’.
” Crunch-crunch. “Don’ know whe’ I’ll be fed agai’.
” Crunch-crunch. Since my worried stomach wasn’t in agreement, my gulps were audible as I forced each swallow.
Then I scooped more onto my plate. “Hope my new owners will offer me a garage or something to sleep in—” I froze in thought.
“Huh, how about that? I’m a goddamned pound pup being returned to a shelter. ”
“Language.”
My seething eyes shifted to Harmony. She had tears but her chin was still lifted as she stared back at me. I’d even pissed off the sweetest woman who walked the earth.
“I don’t even know how this is possible at my age!
” Since my forced breakfast was threatening to rise, violently, I left the table.
“How do you adopt an eighteen-year-old?” I marched to the front door, opened it, and threw all my shit outside.
Including the bag that once carried Noma’s leftovers.
Then, I stood in the driveway and roared my hatred to the heavens above.
It didn’t even feel like Noma was up there helping me anymore.