15. Chapter 15
fifteen
“You have got to be shitting me.” Tanner wags his head.
Mercy just filled us in on Laurel’s ex’s latest move over beers at the Dust Devil. Tanner’s not working the bar tonight—just supervising. The place is loud, pool balls cracking in the back, the jukebox humming low under the chatter.
“He thinks he can get custody away from her? I bet she’s the best mother there is. And make her pay him child support?” Tanner’s got steam coming out of his ears.
He’s not alone. My pulse pounds against my ribcage. I’m just not as verbal as he is.
“He was never faithful to her.” Mercy thumbs the label on her beer. “She tried to make it work until she… had enough.”
I didn’t know anything about her marriage. Never wanted to think about her with another man.
My fist tightens around my beer bottle. She meant too much to me to ever start liking her—but I cratered when I saw her sitting in that hospital waiting room last night. She thought she’d lost her father.
I went through that. I knew exactly how she felt. It knocks you to your knees.
Her and that little boy—I couldn’t handle it. Bowie, crying so hard he couldn’t catch his breath long enough to choke out a sentence.
Broke my fucking heart.
I can’t have Laurel because losing her twice might be the end of me—but it’s not in me to hate her close-up, either. So… whether I want it or not, friends is what it’s going to have to be.
And I don’t let anyone walk all over my friends.
I grind my molars.
“Calder.” Tanner’s tone irritates the fuck out of me. Almost parental, and we’re the same age.
“What?”
“I see your wheels turning. You can’t manhandle that fucker. You know that?”
I lift my hands in resignation. “He’s in Nashville. Haven’t planned on it.” Personally. But I’ve got friends in low places. Dammit, I don’t even know his name.
“Calder….”
“I’m not going to do anything, so drop it.”
Mercy elbows me. “I heard you’re speaking to the school board about the stadium not being safe.”
Thank fuck she changed the subject.
“Ray asked me to. Said he’s been trying to get them to spring for improvements for years, but the school board won’t listen to him. He thinks they might listen to me. I’ll give it a shot.”
“When? I’ll be there to support you.”
My eyes meet hers. “Next meeting. You know, that’s a good idea. Maybe you can drum up community support for stadium improvements. That might help.”
“I’m on it. And I know someone with time on her hands who can help.” She grabs her keys. Her chair scrapes against the stained concrete, catching a few glances from nearby tables. “I’m off. We’ll talk later.”
I catch Tanner’s eyes following that ass as she sashays toward the entrance, and given all the shit he gives me, I can’t miss my chance. “Why don’t you go after that? Mercy’s a hell of a woman.”
He doesn’t take his eyes off her until she disappears behind the entrance door. “I know.”
“What’s your holdup?”
He shrugs.
“That’s all you’ve got to say?”
“Bite me. You want one more?”
“Yeah.”
He waves a server over. The girl nods, weaving through tables. Tanner makes sure all his servers are… blessed by nature. He holds up his bottle. “Two more, Nicole.” Then he turns to me. “What happened with you and Laurel after we left?”
“Nothing.”
He gives me a tilted sneer. “Jesus.”
“Nothing, really.”
“So… you two are going to be friends.” He does air quotes around friends.
I thumb the wet sticker on my bottle. Truth is, the word friends tastes like gravel in my mouth. “Only choice we have. Her divorce isn’t final. Besides… shit.” I squirm in my seat. “I don’t have the balls to go there again.”
I scrub my palm over my jaw, noticing I need a shave, and little Bowie flashes through my mind—his chocolate milk and non-stop chatter. Never been around a little kid like that. He was fun. “Why the fuck did she give her son my middle name?”
I don’t know what to do with that.
“She told me she always liked the name.”
“That actually hurts, you know?”
“No. I’d take it as a compliment and move the fuck on.” Tanner studies me, staying silent while I finish off my beer.
He keeps that up, and I’m walking out.
Finally, he nods. “Okay. What’s happening with that power line easement?”
“Nothing.”
“Man—is that all you can say? Nothing’s your new word?”
I flip him off. “It’s with the PUC. Could be there a year.”
“You know you can’t win. That easement’s going through.”
“Yeah, I know. But we can drag it out. I’ll fight ’em as long as I can. Son of a bitches.”
“And the stadium?”
“Hell, Tanner, I don’t know.” I’m losing patience with this interrogation. “It’s got problems… the metal is old. I’ve told you all I know. They need to get a top firm to come in and assess its condition. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’ll last another ten years. But they need to know for sure.”
“When’s the meeting? I’ll be there, too.”
“The twentieth.”
The jukebox clicks, and be damned if that slow, aching intro rolls out—the one about wanting someone more than they ever wanted you. Need You Now, Lady A.
I let out a bitter groan. That opening note hits like a punch to the ribs. I know that song. Everybody does.
But for me, it’s not about drunk dialing or loneliness.
It’s about being eighteen and wanting a girl so bad it hollowed me out. It’s about watching her walk away, knowing it was the last time I’d see her, knowing there was no way I’d ever want anyone the way I wanted her.
And last night… she said it out loud. I didn’t. Couldn’t. Because if I had…
“Who the fuck played that?” Story of my damn life. I down my beer and toss my money on the table. “I’m out of here.”