Chapter 34
Cayden
Teaching Darlia to cook has to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and I’ve killed people. The beautiful girl in front of me asks a hundred times if she’s doing every single task correctly, and it’s the most adorable and heartbreaking thing I’ve ever seen.
Darlia is adorable. The fact she’s missing so many basic skills is not.
I’ll teach her everything she needs to know, and teach myself patience in the process.
“That’s it, baby. Now just keep stirring until the liquid turns thick,” I tell her, trying my best not to laugh at how concentrated she is right now.
Gods, this woman is beautiful. And right now Darlia is biting the inside of her cheek without realising, so focused on the task in front of her.
Looking up at me with eyes desperate for approval, I nod.
“Mhmm, just like that.”
When she’s done and the evidence is safely in a bowl, Darlia turns to me with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen her have, her eyes filled with pride as she holds out the bowl to show me as if I haven’t been watching this entire time.
I’m in love with Darlia. I want to see that face, that smile, those eyes, every day for the rest of my life. And I’m willing to do just about anything to make sure that’s exactly what will happen.
“Looks great, baby.” Her smile widens, and I swear to god my heart skips a beat.
“I want to make something else! Teach me something else!” This time I don’t stop the laugh from escaping. Darlia is excited, and I’m 90% sure it’s an emotion she’s never experienced before, so I’m not going to take it from her. “Alright, think you can handle something other than a ration pack?”
There is not a single space on the bench clear when she finally has her fill of cooking and all the boys, also laughing, are now reaping the rewards of Darlia’s newfound hobby. Each of them takes two or three bowls of food and sits down.
Bella, who also looks much like me, trying not to laugh at Darlia, grabs a bowl for herself before sitting down on the couch and starting to eat.
When Darlia and I finally sit down with them, the conversation feels comfortable, and I’m sure it does to her as well. Her face is so soft, her lips curved into a smile as she listens to Weston and Caleb fight over something stupid I don’t pay attention to.
“You know, Cayden used to walk around in his boxers half the day, wouldn’t even get dressed until the afternoon, and by then we had somewhere to be.”
I’m going to kill them all, slowly, painfully. The Academy will have nothing on me.
“Oh my god, do you remember the time Cayden had that buzz cut phase? He would have stubble for hair and then have the nerve to judge our hair! He didn’t even have any!”
I can’t kill my brothers. I can’t kill my brothers. I can’t kill my brothers.
“Or how he slept with a teddy until he was eighteen, and when we tried to hide it, he had a full-on meltdown. Tore the house apart looking for it.”
Darlia laughs deeply, heartedly, and we all freeze.
Jesus.
It’s the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard and it sends a jolt straight down to a place it shouldn’t be. I know Darlia is innocent; her breakdown after I ate her out proved just how innocent and desperate for touch she was. But it’s so fucking hard to look at her and not want every part of her.
And seeing Darlia happy? Genuine, unashamed happiness?
It’s something I could easily become addicted to. Hell, I already am. I am an addict for Darlia, and she doesn’t even understand how deeply she is into my skin and my heart.
Bella decides it’s time to throw Darlia under the bus with a laugh. “You know, when we first arrived at The Academy, they cut our hair short, shoulder-length. But Shayleen once told me Darlia asked for it to be even shorter, like just below her ears.”
Darlia’s cheeks flush pink, and she quickly glares at her. “That did not happen.” Her voice is so grumpy and defensive, we all burst into laughter, Darlia included.
After a few more hours of talking and playing a few games that I’m entirely sure Darlia still doesn’t understand but pretends to anyway, the boys prepare to crash on the couch while Bella heads to the spare bedroom.
All while I’m left wondering if I’m sleeping on the floor again, or if Darlia wants me in bed with her.
Even when Darlia was in the depth of her grief and I knew she wouldn’t notice me, I never stayed in the room with her. If it was my choice, she wouldn’t be anywhere other than in my arms. But in that moment, we all knew Darlia needed time to process, and I wasn’t going to take that from her.
“Are you coming?” Her voice is so soft, almost nervous.
“Yeah, baby, let’s go to bed.” Taking her hand, I lead her down the small hallway to the bedroom and help her get ready for bed. Darlia takes her bra off while leaving my shirt on, leaving her panties on before getting under the covers.
“Uh, can I…can I just wear my boxers?” This is so fucking awkward, I feel like a teenager. I get a soft hum of approval as a response, and it’s about as good as I’m going to get. So, I strip down, getting into bed behind Darlia and wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her back to my chest.
I press my nose into her hair, letting her distantly Darlia smell calm me while stroking her stomach with my thumb over my shirt.
“Rest baby, I’ve got you.”
“Cayden?” she whispers, I kiss her neck once, softly, in response. “That thing you did at your manor…when you told me to trust you.” I don’t need to see her face to know it’s bright red right now. I hold back a laugh, placing another kiss to her neck, no more than a peck.
“Yeah?” I keep my voice as calm and controlled as possible, trying not to make her even more nervous. But god, I’m so fucking proud of her right now.
“Can you do it again?”
“What part, baby? My mouth? My hands?” I know exactly what she’s asking for, but I want to hear the words from her lips. I honestly don’t think she is ready for much tonight, but I’m not going to turn down her asking for something for the first time in her life.
“Either.” Darlia moves closer to me, her back now pressed tightly against my chest as if giving me the green light. Instead, I run my fingers up and down her stomach, not giving her what she wants, what she needs.
“Like this?” I know it’s not, but I continue anyway. I move my hand lower only to move under the hem of my shirt before running my fingers back up her stomach and up to her breasts, cupping one in my hand and running my thumb over her nipple. Darlia whimpers instantly.
“Shhh, baby, our friends are outside.”
“Cayden.” Her voice is so full of need it goes straight to my groin, but I ignore it. This isn’t about me. Everything I do now is for her, and if she’s letting me touch her like this, like hell am I going to ruin it by pushing her into something I know she’s not ready for.
“Words, baby. Tell me what you need.”
A breathy moan leaves Darlia’s lips as I pinch her nipple gently between my thumb and forefinger, rubbing it just tightly enough that her hips start squirming desperately for friction she won’t get.
“You’re so beautiful, Darlia.”
My lips return to her neck, kissing and sucking on the soft skin. Her ass presses harder against me as she struggles to remain in control. “Please, Cayden.” It’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard, Darlia desperate for me.
Deciding to give in slightly, I move my free hand under the waistband of her panties, moving to her clit and rubbing slow teasing circles. Immediately, Darlia whines. It’s breathy and needy, and it takes all my control not to push her under me right now.
This isn’t about you, I remind myself. This is about Darlia learning how fucking beautiful her body is and trusting me with it. And I’ll be damned if I break that trust.
“That’s it, baby. Relax into me. I won’t hurt you, you’re doing so well.” The praise easily leaves my lips. All I ever want to do is praise her, tell her how beautiful, brave, and amazing she is. But I also know Darlia well enough to know that if that was all I ever did, it would overwhelm her.
“Good girl.” I push my thigh in between Darlia’s, spreading her legs before moving my hand lower and pushing a finger inside, using my other hand to cover her mouth. “Ride my fingers, baby,” I whisper, giving her full control over her pleasure. “Take what you need from me.”
Darlia starts grinding her hips against my hand, chasing her high. I let her use me, giving herself what she needs. As much as I think I know her limits, she knows them more than me. And I would rather Darlia feel completely in control when she’s this vulnerable.
“Cayden, please, more.”
I move my thumb to her clit again, pressing in firm circles.
“Cayden!” Darlia cries out behind my hand and Jesus Christ I’m so hard it hurts.
“I know, I know. Just let go. So fucking beautiful.”
Her body tenses before releasing, her moans muffled from behind my hand as her body trembles and I hold against me. “Better?” My voice is rough with need, and I hope Darlia doesn’t notice. I only get a soft hum in response before she falls asleep in my arms.