Chapter 24
Angel
I feel sick to my stomach as I roll to my side, nearly falling off the damn bed I’m on. I catch myself and groan in pain.
“What the fuck?” I mumble under my breath. I shove myself up until I’m sitting and grab my head to keep it from spinning.
“Do you feel as bad as I feel?” I hear Tamsyn’s voice.
“Like you died and then got run over by a truck and died again?”
“Yeah, that about sums it up.”
“Then yes, I do. I feel horrible.”
“You want some medicine for that?” I turn my head slowly to see a man in a white lab coat by the counter.
“That depends. Am I going back to sleep?”
“Only if you want to.”
“I don’t want to,” I tell him, and so does Tamsyn. He nods his head and then walks over, passing each of us some pills and a small glass of water. I toss them in my mouth and swallow them down with the water before thanking him. That’s when I notice the empty bed next to me.
“Where’s Silas?” I ask quickly.
“And Rylan?”
“They’re both fine in the other room. They’re pretty banged up, and they really need a lot of rest.” I sigh now hearing that. He’s okay. They’re okay. I’m about to try to stand when the doctor rushes toward me, sitting me back down.
“No walking. Not until you’re steady enough. Here, let me help you.” He pulls a wheelchair over and helps me into it. He does the same for Tamsyn, knowing we’re not going to stay in these beds when we need to see the guys. He pushes me out of the room and down the hall, out into the main room. That’s when I realize we’re still at Chaos.
My eyes move around the room until I spot him and then tears spring to my eyes. He’s slumped in a hospital bed in the corner next to the one that Rylan is in. The doctor wheels me over, and I attempt to stand again when he stops me again.
“Stubborn girl,” he exclaims before telling me what’s wrong with Silas. My heart aches to be near him, but I also don’t want to hurt him. The doctor walks off to get Tamsyn when Silas opens his eyes slightly. He looks over and attempts to smile at me.
“That’s the most beautiful fucking thing I’ve seen in a while,” he says, his voice low and strained.
“You’re okay,” I cry.
“I’m not great, but yeah,” he says. “Come over here,” he tells me. I attempt to stand, but I wobble, and Hoax rushes over.
“The fuck are you trying to do? You want to fuck up something else?” he hisses at me.
“I want her over here,” Silas tells him.
“And I want a million fucking dollars. You’re hurt!”
“And I’m going to hurt more if she isn’t over here, Hoax.” Hoax gives in way too easily and helps me over to the bed. I sit on the edge, and Hoax pulls the blanket back, helping me lay down next to Silas. I’m careful not to touch him. I lay on my side so I could look at him.
“You look like shit,” I tease. Silas turns his head to look at me and smiles.
“I was thinking you looked fucking beautiful.”
“We’re both a mess, aren’t we?”
“Yeah, baby. We are. But we’ll heal. That’s what matters.” I nod my head. He’s right. That’s what matters most.
“What happens when we’re better?” I ask him. He lifts his hand and winces but doesn’t stop until he’s running his fingers down my cheek.
“I’ve been thinking.”
“And?”
“And I want to marry you again. The right way,” he says, causing my heart to swell.
“Really?”
“Yeah, really. We’re married, but shit went south after that. It’s not a good memory for you to have of us. I want you in the perfect white dress and walking down the fucking aisle to me.”
“Are you going to wear a tuxedo?”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Angel. I’m not that guy,” he tells me. I laugh a little when he lowers his hand and wraps it around mine.
“I know you’re not, and I wouldn’t want you any other way.”
“I want you some way. I want you tied to my bed with legs spread wide,” he says, causing me to blush.
“I’m not sure if your cock can handle getting hard right now, so you might want to stop all that.”
“Probably right, but I have plans for you, baby.”
“I like the sound of that.”
“I bet you do,” he laughs a little even while he winces. “You heard I was deaf in one ear now, right?” I nod my head slowly.
“It’s not a big deal. You have another ear,” I remind him. He smiles and nods his head before his eyes slowly slip closed. I watch him sleep while I listen to Tamsyn and Rylan talk next to us. That’s when Hunter walks over, looking serious for a second.
“I know this isn’t the right time for this, but I said I’d tell you all the truth. I wasn’t able to get Levi back,” he says, looking a little lost.
“Why not?” Rylan asks.
“They uh … they burned the car before I could get people over there. I’m sorry.” I hear Rylan curse under his breath and a sob rip from Tamsyn. Tears roll down my cheeks as I rest my head on the pillow. I’ll never forget his face.
It seems like a long time I lay here and cry until Silas wakes up.
“What’s wrong?” he whispers.
“Hunter tried to get Levi. He couldn’t. They burned the car with him in it.”
“Fuck!”
“Silas?”
“Yeah?”
“They took us there first.”
“What do you mean they took you there first?” he asks, sounding concerned now.
“To see the car. Tom asked us if we thought you guys survived it and I saw him. I saw Levi.” Now, another sob rips from my throat. Silas moves carefully, turning toward me and resting his hand on my hip. I know he’s trying to pull me closer but he can’t right now.
“You … you saw him like that?”
“Yeah. He was so peaceful looking even though there was so much blood,” I cry.
“I’m so fucking sorry you had to see that, Angel. So fucking sorry,” he whispers. I continue to cry for a long time just thinking about everything. Silas goes in and out, awake for a while before passing back out. When I finally stop crying, my chest aches.
I close my eyes and try to think of something other than the look on Levi’s face, but it’s hard. When I can’t take anymore, I shove myself up and try to make it to the wheelchair. I didn’t know Hunter was still here until he rushed over to help me.
“Thanks.”
“You want to talk about it?” I nod, and he wheels me away from the beds and across the room so we don’t wake them up.
“I can’t stop seeing his face.”
“That was never something you should have seen, Angel. There are all kinds of people in this world. Good, bad, average. Not everyone can handle things like that. It takes a really bad person to see life slip from someone”s eyes. Their heart has to be as dark as night, and they had to have made a pact with the devil at some point in their lives to do those things and see those things. You’re not a bad person. You weren’t supposed to see the ugly side of life.”
“You sound like you speak from experience.”
“I do. What I do to people,” he says, shaking his head. “It’s not for anyone. You have to be able to look them in the eye and smile as their life leaves them.”
“But you do it to people who hurt kids, Hunter. That’s different.”
“Is it? Do you think you could do what I do just because they hurt a child?” I think about that for a long second before shaking my head.
“No.”
“Exactly. I made a deal with the devil when I was only fourteen years old. I gave up my soul to him so I could make things a little better for someone else,” he tells me.
“Who? Who did you save back then?”
“My sister. She isn’t much older than you are now. Back then, she was just a kid. A kid who didn’t know what was happening to her was wrong. I remember the first time I saw her after it all happened. She lay there, bleeding out and shaking. That’s the day I prayed to the devil to take my goddamn soul.”
“Who was it?”
“My dad.” I nod my head, not asking any more questions. We sit in silence for a long time when Hoax walks over.
“What are you two doing?”
“Just talking.”
“I went over to the site of the car crash. Got some ashes,” he announces as I look at him like he’s crazy. “What?”
“You went and collected ashes?”
“Yeah. Thought you guys might want them.”
“Of the car?” Hunter asks now. I almost laugh, but I can see how serious Hoax is looking right now, so I bite it back.
“You think I actually got car ashes? What the fuck kind of person do you think I am?” Hoax asks.
“I don’t know, man. I wasn’t too sure what the hell you were doing there for a minute.”
“They’re Levi’s ashes, you fucking asshole.”
“And you know that how?” he glances at me, and I raise my eyebrow, now interested to know how he knows this.
“Let’s just say I know the difference between people’s ashes and car ashes.”
“And how exactly do you know that?” Hunter asks again. This time I do bite my lip not to laugh because Hoax looks just too damn serious right now.
“Fuck, Hunter. You know I used to work at a crematorium.”
“And they just let you fucking look at someone’s ashes?” Hunter asks. Now I lose it. I can’t help it. I start laughing, covering my mouth to stop it. Hoax looks from me to Hunter before he speaks again.
“Hell no, they don’t let you look, but I did it anyway. I needed it for research purposes.”
“What exactly were you researching?” he asks him.
“Do you want the fucking ashes or not?” he snaps this time. I stop laughing and nod my head.
“Yes. We’d like the ashes. Thank you, Hoax, for doing this for us,” I tell him.
“He wasn’t just your friend. He was ours, too.” With that, he turns and walks away, leaving me with … an urn.
“Where did he get an urn?” I ask, a little unsure now.
“Angel, there are just something’s you shouldn’t ask answers to.” Now I laugh once more until I look down at the fucking urn. The laughs turn to cries as I sit holding one of our oldest friends. Hunter stands, resting a hand on my shoulder before leaving me alone.