Chapter 20 Evan
EVAN
Idon’t know how long I wait, but I don’t care.
Hearing the noise of the party going on behind me has my eyes fixed forward.
My thoughts race, and I can’t help but scold myself for letting him impact me like this.
I grit my teeth to try and calm down. The skin on my arm begins to itch, and I quickly wrap my hand around the fabric on my wrist to stop the sensation.
It’s like experiencing rejection without the words, and it floods me with a thousand negative thoughts.
“Hey.” I hear a voice behind me. I glance over my shoulder to find Charlie’s hazel eyes under those brown locks. “You waited.”
I nod once. “I did.”
His smile widens, and he runs a hand through his hair. “Do you mind if I sit?”
“No, go ahead.”
Instead of sitting directly in front of me, he sits beside me.
“So, Evan…” he trails off. “The fresh air doing you any favours?”
“Yeah,” I exhale. “A lot better than being inside.”
“Why can’t you go home?”
I shrug. “Won’t look good. I need to stick it out.”
“That sucks.” He frowns.
“Yeah.”
“I like your suit,” he comments.
I look down at myself and laugh hesitantly. “Thanks, it kinda doesn’t fit me, but I had nothing else to wear.”
Charlie remains smiling as I find his gaze once more. He’s staring intently at my eyes, my lips, my nose.
“What?”
He grins. “I think you’re handsome.”
My cheeks heat. I don’t think anyone has called me handsome before, especially not a guy.
His gaze flicks to my warming face. “Yeah, definitely handsome.”
I’m drowning in embarrassment.
“Please stop,” I laugh awkwardly.
“Okay, I’ll stop.”
“Are you part of this district?” I ask to change the subject.
Charlie shakes his head. “No, but not too far over. I’m actually here for a favour.”
My brows raise. “A favour?”
“Yeah, I’d rather not go into it.” He waves a hand.
The first thought that pops into my head is Ryker. It seems lots of people owe him favours, but I don’t push. I don’t really want to know.
“Fair enough.”
Charlie continues to talk, but my eyes subconsciously start to wander to the side of the manor to the left of him. It’s then that I notice Caleb and his father standing behind the building. Ryker is looming over Caleb, and from the looks of things, they’re in a heated argument.
I watch as Caleb shakes his head at his father and starts yelling back. Attention is immediately drawn to them, but Charlie continues talking.
Ryker roars something at Caleb and shoves him backwards into a pillar with such force that if it were me, I’m sure my back would have broken.
The feeling of sadness floods through my body. Caleb’s chest heaves up and down as his father pins him to the pillar. My wolf whines at the sight, and I eventually tear my eyes away and look down at the bench.
“Hey, do you mind if we go somewhere a bit quieter?” I suggest.
I need to be anywhere where Caleb and his father aren't. I can’t watch Ryker bully him for a second longer. No matter how much I try to convince myself I don’t care about him, I can’t sit here and pretend it doesn’t affect me.
“Sure. There’s a little hammock around the corner. I doubt anyone will be there.”
“Great,” I say as I stand and follow his lead.
We loop around the side of the manor away from people and noise. It’s peaceful, everything my racing mind needs. I climb into the hammock, and Charlie slips inside after me. It almost tips over, and we both laugh as we steady ourselves.
Charlie’s eyes rest over mine as he smiles. “So, do you have a partner or anything?”
“It’s complicated,” I confess.
“How so?”
I clear my throat. “There is this guy, but I’m not sure where his loyalties lie, or mine.”
“Would he be mad if he saw us together?”
“Doubt it,” I snort.
“Well, that’s good. What does he look like?”
I suck in a breath. “Tall. Dark hair. Tattoos.”
“Oh.” He blinks. “Damn.”
“Do you have a partner?”
He shakes his head. “Never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Wouldn’t mind either.”
“The right person will come,” I say optimistically.
Although the right person came into my life, only for me to find out that he’s very wrong.
Charlie’s hand gently brushes my leg, and I find myself focusing on it. It’s a strange sensation, one my wolf doesn’t like whatsoever. It’s a sweet gesture, but it makes me feel guilty. Why? I shouldn’t feel this way.
He continues to smile at me before his eyes flick to something behind me, and then his smile is immediately wiped off his face within seconds. He rips his hand from my thigh, and I frown.
“Oh, hell fucking no,” he murmurs.
“What?” I rasp as my heart begins to pound in my throat.
“Please don’t tell me that’s your boyfriend.”
My head whips round so quickly we almost fall out of the hammock. I gulp when I spot Caleb storming towards us, eyes filled with what I can only assume is anger. His fists are tightened, and his gaze is set on the guy beside me.
I jump out of the hammock, and Charlie follows suit. Caleb passes me and yanks Charlie by the collar of his shirt. He yelps in fear, and I suck in a breath.
My eyes flick frantically between them. “Caleb—”
“You have about five seconds to move away from him before I beat your face into the ground,” Caleb growls so dangerously low it makes my spine shudder. “And I swear to the Goddess, if you tell anyone about this, I’ll kill you with my bare hands.”
Charlie nods frantically. “I won’t. I promise I won’t. I’m going.”
It takes a few seconds for Caleb to release Charlie, and then he’s scrambling away, nearly stumbling over his own feet.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I shout.
Caleb turns to me with dark eyes, and I back up a little from the intimidation of his height. “What’s wrong with me?” he laughs sourly. “What is wrong with you?”
My brows pinch so tightly that the skin on my forehead feels like it might rip. “Why did you do that?”
“He was touching you,” he grinds out.
“Oh, and you weren’t touching that woman earlier?” I shoot back quickly.
He swipes a hand over his sharp jaw. “That’s different.”
I scoff in disbelief. “How? Your actions make no sense! You fucking hate me.”
Caleb stares at me for a long, long moment. “You have no idea how I feel,” he rasps with a trembling chest.
“Then tell me. Tell me how you feel,” I snap, feeling at wits' end with him. “I’d love to know what’s going on in your head for once in my life because I’ve got nothing but your dismissal.”
He curses under his breath and turns around, facing the direction of the manor. But we’re hidden from view, not a single other person in sight. He’s shaking all over, and I can hear his lungs working overtime.
When he doesn’t respond, I throw my hands up in the air before they slap my thighs. “I’m done with this, Caleb,” I murmur. “I can’t do this back and forth; it’s exhausting.”
I start to walk away before I hear, “Don’t.”
My feet halt against the grass, and I hate myself for listening to him. I angrily twist towards him to find his eyes glistening and his face slack. “What the hell do you want from me?”
Caleb’s fists tighten as his eyes flick between mine. “I want—”
I curl an eyebrow when he stops talking. He drags a hand down his face as words fail him. I’m running out of patience, and I’m done looking like a fool.
“I give up. I’m done. We should just reject each other, it’s clearly what’s best, and I–”
“Oh, fuck it.” I hear him mutter before he’s storming towards me with determination.
I freeze as he reaches me, grips my jaw, and tugs me towards him. My breath hitches as his eyes rest over mine, dilated and filled with fire.
“This,” he grunts in desperation. “This is what I fucking want.”
Then he leans forward and presses his lips to mine.
I tense at first in shock, but the second he cups the side of my face with his large, warm hand, I close my eyes and fall headfirst into the sensation. He deepens the kiss, claiming my lips with his. I have no idea what I’m doing, but it’s hot, heavy, and unexpected.
I should push him away. I should not let him do this. But I can’t find the courage to do so.
He places a hand at the curve of my spine and arches me into him, our chests flush against one another. My whole body turns into a blazing fireball at his touch, the bond lighting up like fireflies between us.
Caleb tastes sweet and soft, completely opposite of his hard exterior.
He leaves me gasping for breath as I chase the kiss faster than I can blink.
His tongue slowly brushes against mine ever so slightly, and a soft moan crawls up my throat.
He grunts in response, kissing me harder to the point I’m lost in him.
After a few moments, he pulls away and rests his forehead against mine. I glance up at his eyes, and I choke on a breath at the vulnerability inside them—something I’ve rarely seen.
“Goddess, I’m losing my fucking mind,” he whispers.
Then he removes himself from me altogether, as if suddenly remembering something. There’s a tidal wave of agony in my sternum from both of us.
“You don’t have someone trying to dictate your life,” Caleb says hollowly.
I used to, and it was hell. I understand more than you know, I say in my head.
My throat aches at the pain in his voice, and yet my lips are still tingling from our kiss. It’s a whiplash of emotions to go from one extreme to the other.
“Someone who tears down every little thing you do until you barely recognise yourself anymore. All the fucking lies. The fake feelings. The hatred I feel.”
I blink in surprise at his outburst. It’s the first time I’ve seen him anything other than cold and shut off. He looks to the grass, eyes filling with sadness.
“I wish I wasn’t like this,” he carries on, and I realise he might be self-destructing. “I wish he wasn’t like this. Fuck!”
Caleb turns, and his fist collides with the tree that’s holding the hammock. I flinch at the sound of his bare knuckles hitting the bark. He does it again as blood trickles down his hands, onto his wrists.
The sight has panic flashing in my mind. It makes my stomach churn with nausea. There’s no way I can stand here and watch him hurt himself.
My legs move quickly as I cup his fists in my hands before he causes more damage. “Calm down, Caleb,” I say gently, but my voice wobbles.
Caleb’s jaw tightens, and he releases a low groan of pain.
“Just breathe,” I murmur, but I need to take my own advice.
“No.” He shakes his head. “No, I don’t want that life.”
His chest quivers as he studies me, and his eyes look so hollow and lost.
“I don’t want to be standing there next to some woman I’m not even remotely attracted to,” he hisses, “while you’re out here with some guy who is trying to flirt with you. Trying to flirt with what’s mine.”
I’m lost for words—literally—so I say nothing. But it gives me butterflies. Stupid butterflies that make me lightheaded.
“Fuck,” he grunts before turning around.
When I think he’s about to hit the tree again, I reach for him.
“Please don’t,” I plead desperately. “Please.”
Caleb’s breaths become ragged. The bond inside my heart glows, and despite wanting to push it away, I can’t. Not after the way he kissed me and poured every ounce of emotion into it that wasn’t his deep coldness that I’m used to.
“I pushed you away because it’s safer,” he whispers. “Because I will never forgive myself if he hurts you. And I wasn’t lying when I said it the other day.”
My mouth turns bone-dry at his confession and who he’s talking about.
“I can’t be here.” He grips my hands tighter. “I can’t be around him.”
“Then go,” I whisper.
Caleb’s green eyes move between mine slowly. “Come with me.”
“Where?”
“Anywhere. Away from him, from everyone.”
I glance down at the blood dried on his knuckles and my palms.
“Pups.” He lowers his forehead to mine, and I hate the way that stupid nickname is growing on me. “Please. Come with me. Let me explain.”
The pain etched into each word makes me shiver, and before I realise what I’m doing, I’m nodding in agreement. I don’t know why, but it feels right.
Something tells me to give him one last chance, and if he fucks me over again, then I refuse to be walked all over like I’m nothing.
“Okay,” I whisper.
Caleb entwines our fingers before we run around the back of the manor and into the night.