Chapter 21 Evan
EVAN
Caleb’s hand is still firmly in mine as we reach a local human town. I don’t ask questions as we head inside a cosy pub inn. I let Caleb do the talking as he asks for a room, and once she hands over the keys, we head upstairs.
He drops my hand to open the door, and we step inside. The room isn’t anything special, but I suppose we’re not here for the decor.
Caleb immediately heads over to the window and stares out at the night sky, his back rising and falling aggressively.
I stand a few feet behind him and clutch my hands together. “Are you okay?”
It’s a stupid thing to ask. It’s obvious he’s not okay.
His head lowers for a moment before he glances over his shoulder. “I will be.”
I frown at his quiet words. “D-do you want to talk about it?”
Caleb releases a dry laugh. “Not really.”
I chew on the inside of my lip. “What did you mean when you said you pushed me away because it’s safer?”
He turns to face me, and I feel incredibly small under his intense stare.
The room falls silent, and it’s nearly deafening. As time ticks by, I don’t expect him to respond, but then he says, “He wants an heir.”
“Oh.”
“A bloodline heir to carry on our name, and I know he won’t stop until he gets what he wants.”
I grip onto my fingers. “And that woman?”
“Another wolf he’s been trying to set me up with.”
A hole burns in my chest, and I resist the urge to rub it. “What happens if you tell him no?”
Caleb snorts and drags his tongue along his bottom lip. “Hell will break loose.”
“And if he found out about me?”
His eyes find mine, and the terror that crosses them makes my stomach churn. I listen as he sucks in a sharp breath. “He’ll punish me.”
“How?”
“By hurting you.”
I blink once. “And that’s a punishment for you?”
Caleb raises his head to the ceiling and closes his eyes. “Goddess,” he grumbles. “Yes, it’s a punishment for me.”
“Do you mean your wolf?”
“No.” His voice is harsh. “I mean for me.”
My legs shake as I try to ignore the thought of his father destroying me because we’re mated together.
“I’ve always had control of my emotions, but when it comes to you…” he trails off. “I’m out of control, and it’s destroying me.”
My chest quivers at his words.
“I feel too much,” he says through gritted teeth. “You make me feel too much.”
I blink through his confession, but I don’t let it fester.
“So…why are we here?”
Caleb takes a step towards me, and my skin prickles with goosebumps. “Because I couldn’t stand there and watch that guy put his hands on you.”
When he stops mere inches from me, I tremble. My neck cranks to meet his height, and I hold his stare. “That doesn’t explain why we’re here,” I murmur.
His hand cups my cheek, and I’m swept into immediate pleasure that bursts across my skin. It’s unnerving and takes me by surprise. I nearly topple over my own feet. It’s a tenderness I want to live a thousand times over.
“I just…” he starts. “I needed to be close to you.”
My eyes burn at the sincerity of his words. Either he’s a good liar, or he’s being serious. I’ve been headfucked by him one too many times to know what’s real and what’s not, and yet, I ended up here after promising myself I would stay away.
I might be weak, but the matebond is hard to resist.
“Stay tonight,” he whispers. “Here. With me.”
“I can’t tell if you’re messing with me,” I say through shaky words.
Caleb looks defeated as he lowers his forehead to mine. “I never wanted to mess you around in the first place, but I had no other choice.”
“What do you want?”
His thumb smooths over the curve of my jaw, and I’m trembling like a leaf. “I’ve been waiting my entire life for this,” he whispers.
I close my eyes before tears spring because they are words I never thought I’d hear. The pleasure that erupts inside me is near euphoric, something I’ve never felt in my life, when all I’ve known is pain and suffering.
“I thought you didn’t like me,” I state, my emotions getting the better of me.
“I was an asshole to you. I didn’t know how else to handle it.”
“Yeah,” I croak. “You were an asshole. You hurt me, the day you tackled me to the ground.”
Caleb’s throat bobs, and undeniable guilt swarms his eyes. “I never meant to. I wanted to scare you off, but when you fell, I didn’t mean to collide with you. I took it too far. I wanted for you to not even look in my direction, but I failed at doing that.”
His chest heaves, and shame swarms my body—but not my shame…his.
“You could have explained. I would have tried to understand.”
He wrinkles his nose. “I wasn’t ready to confess. I hate talking about him.”
I nod because I despise talking about my family, too.
“I’ve had to hide my emotions for the majority of my life,” he rasps. “And when it came to you, I acted like I didn’t care because he can manipulate me when I show too much emotion.”
My brows crease as he speaks, not fully grasping what he means.
“I didn’t want you to get involved in this,” he carries on.
“It’s too late for that.”
Caleb brushes his forehead against mine. “I know.”
“I don’t know if I trust you,” I whisper.
“I understand,” he says softly. “I thought staying away from you would be easy, but it’s been hell. And I need to keep you safe.”
I press my lips together as he continues to stroke my cheek. “Even if we both wanted this,” I say solemnly. “It’s impossible, right?”
Caleb’s eyes close as if he’s in severe pain. “I need time to work things out, but he can’t know about you. He can’t know you’re my mate. Not yet.”
“Or ever?”
He glances at me, and I suck in a sharp breath. “I’m not going to let him hurt you.”
I’ve only heard the rumours circulating the pack regarding Ryker, but if he’s as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be, I’m not sure I want to know.
“Are we safe here?” I ask.
Caleb hums. “I made sure my guards kept an eye on Ryker and let me know if he started to come closer. But we should be fine here tonight.”
After a few minutes, I pull away from his grip, needing a second to myself.
“We should clean up your knuckles,” I say as I glance down at the dried blood.
He raises his hands and shrugs. “They’ll heal in an hour.”
“Still, you should clean them.” I fold my arms over my chest.
The corner of his lip twitches. “Would it make you happy?”
“Yes. I-I don’t like seeing you hurt.”
Caleb’s eyes glow. “Let’s go then.”
We enter the bathroom, and I turn on the tap, making sure it’s a nice temperature before washing my own hands. Caleb’s blood slips from my skin, down the drain.
That’s when I feel warmth from behind me. I flick my gaze to the mirror and nearly jump as he slides his arms around me and starts to rinse off his knuckles. He’s over half a foot taller than me, making me look as small as a bug in comparison.
I tear my eyes away from the reflection and stare down at his hands. Before I realise what I’m doing, I reach for his fingers and study the marks that are mostly healed.
“Will you stay?”
I glance up to find his pleading green eyes.
My heart rattles against my ribcage. “Are you going to leave me here?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I promise.”
I’m still sceptical and have every right to be, but my wolf cries out at me to stay. To give him the benefit of the doubt. Goddess, why am I so weak?
“Say yes,” he pleads. “Let me prove to you that you can trust me.”
I swallow thickly and take a moment to figure out what I want.
“Pups,” he whispers as he squeezes my fingers, and I shudder all over.
“Fine,” I murmur. “I’ll stay.”
Caleb takes down a breath, looking satisfied.
Once the blood is gone from our hands, we dry them and head back into the main room. Caleb’s fingers float to his black shirt before he starts to undo the buttons. My mouth falls open, and I turn away, not wanting to invade his privacy, but all I hear is his deep laugh.
“Oh, come on,” he says lightheartedly. “You’ve seen it all before.”
“Not all of it,” I gawk.
His chuckle filters the air. “I’m just getting comfortable, and I’m exhausted.”
Blood rushes to my ears, and I pluck up the courage to glance over my shoulder. My eyes are immediately glued to his bare toned chest, covered with ink and not an inch of hair. I study his pierced nipples, and it does something to me that it definitely shouldn’t.
He’s working on the belt of his trousers now until they drop to the floor, and he kicks them to one side. Now, all he’s standing in is his dark boxers, thick tattooed thighs on show.
I watch as he slides into one side of the bed, resting his hands behind his head. He looks ridiculous compared to the size of the mattress as the sheets pool at his waist, making him look like a king.
Caleb’s eyes flick to me, and he pats the spot beside him. “Come here.”
My throat tightens at his words.
“I don’t bite.”
He does, in fact, look like he bites.
It takes me a while to work my way over to the bed before I kneel down and sit on the edge.
“Don’t you want to get comfortable?”
My wrists start to itch, and there is no chance in hell I’m letting him see my scars. “I am comfortable,” I lie.
Caleb narrows his eyes at me. “Alright.”
I remove my trousers and tie, but keep my shirt on. I know I must look stupid, but I need to protect my own sanity.
Once I’ve slipped beneath the sheets, I force myself to try and get comfortable.
“Do you normally go to bed in a shirt?”
My brows dip, and I fold my arms over my chest. “No.”
“No?”
“Leave it.”
“Are you embarrassed?”
“No.”
“Hey.” He clasps my chin between his thumb and finger. “Look at me.”
I don’t. I can’t.
“Evan—”
My chest quivers at the sound of my name on his lips. Caleb sighs when I don’t meet his eyes; instead, he strokes my chin, leaving me shuddering.
“Let’s sleep,” he murmurs.
I nod because I want nothing more than to leave this conversation alone.
He drops my face and turns off his bedside table lamp, and I press my face deep into the pillow. My eyes close, but I’m very much awake.
I’m extremely aware of Caleb’s presence. We’re sleeping in the same bed. And this is the last thing I expected of tonight.