Chapter 14 #3
She caught Maren studying her, eyes narrowing to focus on Grier. Shit. Who was she kidding. Maren had radar for these things. Grier felt heat creep up her neck under that knowing gaze. She tried to preempt Maren.
“I’m fine. It’s nothing.” She coughed on a piece of lettuce that had stubbornly adhered to her soft palate like a piece of duct tape, then reached for some water, hoping it would calm her before Maren launched her inevitable emotional dissection.
She watched through watered eyes as Maren pinched her lips and furrowed her brows. Their eyes locked, and Maren remained silent, drawing her out without a word.
“Really. I’m fine.” Grier kept her stare, refusing to blink, determined to win this standoff.
Maren didn’t waver. It felt like an interrogation.
Maren was short, not even remotely threatening, with kind hazel eyes and smile lines far too deep for her age, but which highlighted her kindhearted demeanor and instantly softened most people to her.
She was as much a counselor as she was massage therapist, and her wise advice was always genuine, always astute, and always prudent.
Sitting across from her patient, worried, and imploring gaze took every ounce of Grier’s resolve.
She cracked.
She let her shoulders sink, making herself smaller, and hung her head so she didn’t have to see Maren’s face when she blurted, “We kissed.”
Silence. Not even the sound of shifting clothes.
Grier looked up. Maren’s expression had changed, softened.
Her hazel eyes twinkled with an undercurrent of excitement, but her brow edged into concern.
She tilted her head with gentle understanding, as if she could name every unspoken emotion thrashing inside Grier’s chest.
Finally, Maren broke her silence. “Your body is making your next move easy. Why are you fighting it, honey?”
Grier blinked, confused, and remained silent, waiting for Maren to explain.
“You didn’t immediately seek me out to talk this morning, even though we haven’t seen each other in days.
I’m not certain if that was a deliberate avoidance or an unintentional oversight, but it’s clear you’re holding this close to your heart.
Which means that whatever’s brewing between you two is more than just a physical connection.
You want the sex, that’s obvious—but you also want more. ”
Grier shifted her eyes to the ceiling, reflecting on Maren’s summation.
“Why are you fighting it, honey?” Maren repeated, her voice softer now.
Grier lowered her head to meet Maren’s eyes. She pulled the corner of her mouth into a half-hearted smile and shrugged. “She seems uncertain. Unsure of herself. Of me.”
“And you don’t want to push?”
“Oh, I very much want to push—right up against a wall.” Grier let that visual flicker through her mind before she shook it off.
“But, you’re right. I think you’re exactly right.
We both feel the spark—it’s undeniable. The initial attraction inspired such fiery flirtations— ones I think we both very much want to act on.
But I know I also feel the tendrils of something deeper, an undercurrent that keeps whispering more.
And I think she’s been hurt before. Or something is scaring her—she said as much at the gala.
And that same little voice is telling me to be patient—to let her come to me. ”
“Sounds quite perceptive, if you ask me.” Maren smiled knowingly.
“I didn’t, actually—ask you,” Grier teased.
“But I’m glad you forced it out of me. I think I knew all those things, but I didn’t actually put it into words until it was coming out of my mouth right now.
” She exhaled, feeling a little relief at having given name to her emotions.
She smiled playfully. “You don’t charge enough. ”
“My counsel-ship is free with friendship, honey,” Maren said, grinning. “And you didn’t need me for anything more than a sounding board. You already know what you want. I’m just here to help you wait it out until Tobin realizes what a catch you are.”
“You’re pretty confident she’s going to figure it out,” Grier retorted, reluctant in her own beliefs.
“She will. Plus—we both know good things come to those who wait.” Maren winked, and Grier felt a little of her anxiety subside under Maren’s calm confidence.
“How about we distract you a little? Alix and I have missed you.
You wanna grab dinner after work tonight?” “I’d love that.”
“Let me queer this out for you, because it is definitely incapable of being straightened,” Alix began their recap of Grier’s encounter with Tobin over drinks at their favorite bar, The [Fe] Bra (The Iron Bra).
“Tobin calls you like it’s 1998—then shows up at your house looking like a tall—but broken—drink of water.
She begs you to caress said broken body, which you are actively seducing—with your very knowledgeable, very talented hands.
She pulls you into the hottest reversed kiss of all time, sucks miraculous healing powers from your lips, then literally runs her no-longer-broken body up the stairs and leaves you fully unsated, sitting in your basement wet and alone?
Does that about sum it up?” They look back and forth between Grier and Maren while chewing on the end of a cocktail straw.
“Has anyone ever told you that you missed your calling as a
court reporter?” Grier glowered, unimpressed with their embellished retelling of her story, but equally appreciative of their epically comical rewriting of the events. Her fingers unconsciously twiddled with the pendant around her neck.
“Come on! Grier!” Alix was pleased with themself. “Am I wrong?”
“No. Yeah, basically, that was a mostly accurate recap.” She maintained her glowering expression.
Alix laughed, tossing their chewed straw onto the tabletop. “You can’t make this shit up!”
Maren reached across the table to gently squeeze Grier’s hand as she tore at a napkin, giving her restless energy a quiet outlet. She was still feeling mildly humiliated after Alix’s theatrical recap.
All this storytelling only made it harder to push Tobin out of her mind.
Thoughts of her kept creeping in. Every time a memory surfaced, Grier fought to suppress it, but the harder she pushed, the more powerful and persistent they became.
Eventually, she realized she’d just have to let her mind wander.
She decided to test the boundaries of hope, letting it settle in her chest. It felt heavy, weighted with uncertainty, yet edged with promise—one she hoped Tobin might eventually recognize as something worth exploring. But she knew she had to be patient.
Her thoughts shifted to Saturday. Their non-date, as Tobin had so clearly defined it.
When the invitation to cook together had landed on her phone screen, Grier’s initial reaction was excitement.
The addition of the farmer’s market only thrilled her more— it was a favorite pastime in the warmer months, especially after a late morning swim.
She was just starting to bask in the warmth of tangible progress—an almost-date, a hint of forward momentum— when Tobin’s final text arrived, shadowing her in doubt once more.
She wanted this to be a date. She wanted to respect Tobin’s clear boundaries.
She wanted to pursue her. But she also knew Tobin needed the space to transition emotion into action.
What she didn’t know was why. She didn’t know where Tobin’s hesitancy originated, only that it had profoundly affected her ability to trust.
The lack of knowing settled in her gut like a grenade, the pin in her teeth. Her body braced instinctively against the inevitable explosion, against the want she’d gone so long without. She didn’t know what to do with this wanting, this restless ache checked by the very woman who stirred it.
Maren’s hand squeezed hers, pulling her back to the present. Grier met her gaze as Alix—oblivious to her unraveling thoughts— continued rambling nonsense about the sheer implausibility of the whole situation.
“She’ll figure it out, honey.” Maren said quietly, just for her.
“At this point, I’m not so sure. And even if she does, I’m not convinced I’ll be able to figure her out.
I’m not certain she’s figured her out.” She looked at Maren, feeling the truth of her words settle between them.
As easy as Tobin could be to read, she could be equally impossible to interpret once her walls went up.
“I’m worried I won’t be able to take on whatever ghost she’s hosting. If she even names the ghost for me… I don’t know if I can be that person for anyone else. I barely have my own demons tamed.”
“You never give yourself enough credit, Grier.” Maren withdrew her hand and straightened in her seat.
“You are one of the most patient, supportive friends I’ve ever known.
I can only imagine how those capacities expand when you direct them toward a partner.
If anyone can pull Tobin out of… herself… it’s you.”
Alix, having stopped their muttering and rejoined the conversation, began passing out plates as the waitress arrived with their food.
“Maren’s right. Joking aside, you’re one of the most determined people I know.
And don’t even try to tell me you don’t already have a psychological chisel in a death grip, ready to chip away at Tobin’s facade the minute she gives you the chance. ”
Grier smiled at her friends, accepting their praises as the truths she knew they were. “You guys are my favorites.”
“I think I’ve heard you dole out that compliment at least three other times today,” Alix teased, tossing a fresh napkin at her face.
“We know we’re your real favorites, though, honey,” Maren said, her smile reaching all the way to her eyes.
“You definitely are,” Grier replied, raising her glass to toast her friends.