Chapter 24
Do you see a monster in me?
I wake up gasping and scramble away from the alphas as quietly as I can. It’s not them; it’s just my skin feels like it’s stretched too painfully across my bones, my scars burn like they are freshly made, I can smell burned flesh, and I can hear his voice in my ear.
I hit the wall, holding myself up with one arm, a hand pressed against my mouth to make sure that none of the screams come out.
He loved to break my fingers. The snap of my bones would make him smile. I shove that thought away, but it lingers, grabbing me in a chokehold. I bounce off the door frame as I escape the room.
I’m sweating and whimpering and half-blind; all I can see is his smile as he casually cuts my skin apart.
Let’s see what’s inside an omega.
I’m screaming in my mind, screaming so loud. It never stops. I shove up against the wall and stumble down the hallway.
Help me.
Please help me.
I take a step when my wrist is grabbed, and I’m spun around. I barely have time to think before I’m slamming into a hard chest. A hand lands on the back of my neck, anchoring me. I stare at the black shirt and then tilt my head back.
“Who are you?” I whisper. My raspy breathing echoes around the room. “I feel like I’m supposed to know, but it’s lost in the memories. I can’t find you here; it’s too loud.”
He ducks his head down and kisses me. The moment our lips connect, the fear washes away on a sea of wonder. I know this kiss. My arms creep up until I’m holding his shoulders, clinging to him. The rock in an island of cold. He’s an icy wind sweeping away all the bad.
I pull back from the kiss, but he surges forward, pushing his tongue into my mouth. He lifts me up, and, without thought, I wrap my legs around his waist.
When he pulls his mouth from mine, I go for the spot on his neck, lathing it with my tongue and scraping my teeth over it.
He shudders and walks us into another dark room.
Light from a hole in the roof shines down onto a slab of concrete.
I barely notice our surroundings as I turn my mouth back to his, sucking his bottom lip.
I’ve never felt this way. Heated, hot, needy. The ice of his scent burns over my skin, but when I open my eyes, it’s those ruby red sparks that I see, I fall into. No ghosts of the past can touch me. I thread my fingers through his silky hair and press our foreheads together, staring into his eyes.
“Don’t let me get lost,” I whisper.
He shuffles to the slab and lays me down, kneeling over me.
“Omega, how can I stop your pain?”
It’s the first thing he’s said, and it melts the phantoms that are clinging to my mind. His voice, it’s him. I’m safe, I know I am. I reach up, stroking his jaw. He turns his face into my hand, kissing my palm.
“I want you to make me forget, Alpha. We’re going to die here, and I don’t want the memories. Not anymore. Make them go away.”
I sit up, kissing him and pull my shirt off, and then the undergarments, until I’m naked from the chest up.
“You’re not going to die, Omega. Not while I’m here,” his growl is a promise that creates tethers between us. I’m helpless to stop them.
He looks down and freezes.
Is he going to reject me? Is he disgusted?
His index finger traces the scar that runs from my sternum to the bottom of my rib cage.
I shudder, breathing hard, almost moaning.
He traces every single mark marring my skin, even the accused brand.
I stare past him, waiting for him to tell me I’m ugly or that he won’t touch someone who so clearly belongs to someone else. My mind at war with my body.
Needing my alpha, terrified of his imminent rejection.
“You’re beautiful, Kaida,” he whispers.
I feel it when he looks at me like that.
I lay back on the stone, my heart racing as he ducks down, leaving open-mouthed kisses along the scar.
The fear disappears under the heat of his mouth and hands.
His scent fills the air, and I let out a whine, which switches the feeling between us into something hotter, more aggressive.
No one will touch me? That’s what he said.
“Tell me I’m yours,” I hiss desperately. “Lie to me.”
“So strong,” he whispers. “Survivor, warrior omega,” he breathes and kisses across my chest, drawing my nipple into his mouth.
My eyes roll. I pant and writhe under him, wordless whimpers leaving me. My lungs burn as I inhale that dark, icy scent of him. I dig my fingers into his hard muscles, clinging to him as if I let go I’ll shatter. I’m drowning in sensation, feelings I’ve never felt before.
I thread my fingers through his hair and tug him up to my lips, kissing him hard, changing the feel between us again.
He tastes like strength and freedom. I want to give as much as I’m receiving; I need to touch him, too.
I’m open and vulnerable now, and he responds, pressing his body onto mine, his hips settling between my thighs, his heavy weight pressing me down.
“Please,” I moan, needing the words but unable to articulate it.
I slide my hand down, learning the shape of his back, all those hard muscles, and grip his ass, drawing him into me. The feel of his heavy erection pressing against me melts my mind.
A spark of fear and a flash of memory, but his icy kiss burns it away.
“Alpha,” I whisper, but then there's just the sounds of us.
We kiss until my lips feel swollen and sore, and then he skates down my body and kisses the curve of my breast, sucking on the flesh hard enough to leave his mark. My nipples, already hard, stiffen and peak, and when his mouth closes over them, I cry out, panting and shuddering.
I barely notice that he’s undoing my pants and pushing them down. Not until he sits back and pulls them off.
Cadel stares at me the whole time, silent, waiting for my protest. The silence between us feels important, as if, if we break it, this will stop.
I don’t want it to stop.
He stands up and strips out of his clothes until he’s standing in the shadows staring at me, naked, with a massive cock weeping pre-cum that he has held in his fist. My mouth waters.
No one will have you—
Ice coasts across my skin from a freezing breeze in a long ago memory, chasing away those hideous words.
I reach for him. Please, I silently beg. I need you.
He comes to me slowly, powerful, muscles rippling.
My breath catches in my throat as the light falls on him.
He’s perfect. I barely get a chance to even think about it before he’s on me, pushing me down, spreading my legs, his head goes down there.
I try to stop him, grab his hair to pull him up, but he ignores me.
When his tongue swipes over my clit, I arch my back unconsciously, my eyes going wide, surprised by the pure ecstasy from one brief touch.
All I’ve felt is pain. But there’s no pain now. I’d braced and tensed, fear controlling a part of my mind and body, but as he flattens his tongue and laps at my slick, I relax, moaning, turning liquid under his ministrations.
I whine and tilt my hips, rising to meet his mouth.
He’s ruthless, demanding my surrender. I squeeze a hand into a fist and shove it against my mouth, sobbing as my body tightens.
He presses a huge finger into me, and I almost cry out.
I just swallow the sound. He pumps in and out and then sucks my clit.
My body is his body, arching and writhing to the pleasure he is taking and giving.
Cadel pushes in another finger and moves them slowly in and out; the sounds of my arousal can’t be masked.
I need more. Knot. I need his knot. I don’t dare say the words. I’m too afraid to say the words.
“I want to see this forever,” he says and kisses my inner thigh. “I want to see you happy, pleasured, safe.”
He broke our silence, and now I want to cry, it’s too much, the emotions, the feel of him, finding him here.
“Give it to me, Kaida,” he growls. “I want it all.”
He renews his efforts, pushing me higher and higher, until I’m tight as a bow, my toes curling, a scream in my throat, strangling his fingers as he wrings every last bit of my release from me. It’s a pleasure that’s almost painful in its intensity. I sob against my fist.
He climbs up my body, licking a trail through the sweat until he gets to my lips.
“Cadel,” I murmur.
“No more nightmares. No more pain. That is my wish for you.”
There’s a burn inside me, something new I haven’t felt before that’s heating up, like an inferno that’s been locked behind a closed door, and Cadel pushed it open, unlocked it.
His hand slides over my hip, and I feel myself grow unbearably wet.
“Your scent has saturated the room, Omega.”
I blink up at him. “Cadel, I need…”
“I know what you need,” he whispers and reaches down between us. I feel the crown of his cock pressing against my entrance, and then he slowly pushes his way inside me.
I moan, drawing my legs up, giving him more room. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s an uncomfortable sensation, like I’m too full. And then he starts to move, slowly at first, rocking his hips, shoving the door open with each thrust.
My hands slide over his back, pulling him down to me, where I find a spot on his neck and suck. His rhythm stutters, and then he slams into me. I meet each one of his thrusts as best I can.
The words I need to hear…I need them. They hold me, in my mind, keeping me apart.
He touches me everywhere, his hands tracking over my skin, learning all my curves. I grab one of his hands, threading my fingers through his and holding tight as I whine, thrashing my head from side to side.
Cadel pauses inside me, buried deep, his cock throbbing. He leans in close so his lips are pressed to my ear.
“You are mine. For now and forever.”
My eyes widen and the schism slams closed. I melt, whining and clawing at him, clenching around his cock. I rub my chin and face on his neck, marking myself as he growls deep in his chest.