Chapter 46
He is not her alpha
Mordecai
His Dreams
We’re staring at the night full of stars on the shore with a massive expanse of ocean just in front of us, and I don’t want to look at her. My lip curls when I see her long grey hair dance on the breeze. The smell of the salty ocean is just fuel to the inferno of my temper.
“I have done everything you have asked,” I say in a low, angry voice. “Please don’t ask me to do anymore.”
She doesn’t say anything for so long I wonder if she even heard me speak.
“Do you know what I love about the stars?”
I ignore her; she’s going to tell me, anyway.
“There are no two the same because they all have their place, their different strength of light. The night sky is a tapestry of intent and fate. Much like the fate of the people who are currently fighting to stop the Beta’s Path.” Her chiding hits hard, but I take the blow and let it bounce off me.
“I’ll have to take your word for it, having never seen stars,” I say bitterly.
She smiles slightly, turning to look at me. The stillness of the world around me just reminds me of how fake it is.
“You think you are the only one who has had to sacrifice, who knows pain, but for more years than I can count, the players, humans, gods, betas, omegas, and alphas have been working to undo the damage. Sacrificing family, love, and lives. You are not special because you had to hurt her to save everyone.”
The prophet turns away, and when she looks back, she looks ageless, different. A goddess. My skin prickles, and I have an urge to step back from her.
“The end is coming. One way or another, it will be decided. And it will be you,” she says sharply.
“Me?”
“Yes, you and people like you, living there now, the gods and humans who want so desperately for something better, it will be you who will fight the final battle and decide for once and for all what our world is going to look like.”
She starts walking, and I follow before I can even think about it. The sand is soft on my bare feet, cold.
I almost can’t speak, I’m so appalled by her sad words. “This is it?”
“Yes, it’s all or nothing now. In less than a month, the outcome of the worlds will be decided.” Her voice rings with power, with sad triumph.
“But—” I cut myself off, trying to gather my thoughts. “But what can we do? How can we fix it?”
She looks at me and smiles, and I feel like she understands how torn up I am and pities me. “You’re already doing your best, Alpha. The fate of us all will unfold exactly as it’s meant to be as everyone makes their choices.”
“But—we could just kill them all. The betas, lets just kill them and—”
“Kill them all? The betas?” She shakes her head.
“Have you misunderstood me all this time, Alpha? We need the betas. Winning isn’t about the annihilation of a designation; it’s about finding and restoring balance.
Did you think the only players were alphas and omegas?
Do you think the only prayers for help and change come from you?
Do you think that beta mothers and fathers stop caring about their children because they are alphas?
Do you think brothers and sisters don’t walk the rest of their lives with the shadow of their lost siblings beside them?
Do you think they all agree with this massacre?
Did you think the beta gods wanted this?
No, they live in fear, and they fight back as much as you do.
The beta’s prayers are as strong as your own, Alpha.
” She cocks her head to the side. “Why are there no betas in the Resistance?”
I stare at her, my mind racing.
“Come, Mordecai, I taught you better than that. Your aunt was a beta, and she helped save many people.”
The memory erupts in my head, and I almost stagger. “I’d forgotten her.”
“She died with your parents that night, didn’t she? How many beta children did you save, Mordecai? Would you have left them to die because they were betas? Should we kill them all now? Wipe them all out of the world. Can you murder babies?”
I recoil and growl at her. “I get your point.”
She falls silent, turning back to stare at the stars and that ocean of black.
“Many gods and goddesses sacrificed a lot to give us this one chance to save it all. A lot of them were betas. Don’t dishonour their sacrifice.”
I pace away from her, throwing my hands up in the air. “I don’t know what else you want from me?”
She smiles, soft and easy. “You are so impatient. Walk with me.”
There isn’t a great deal of choice, so I fall into step beside her.
“I have asked so much of some of you, more perhaps of you and your alpha. But at least you have each other. There are people who don’t get such grace.
Not everyone can have a love story.” She’s talking, but she seems to be talking to herself.
The prophet, this omega who has haunted my dreams, stops suddenly, looking sad.
“There are scent matches out there who will forever be divided, hearts empty and yearning for a love they have waited their whole lives for. It will never come. Sometimes being the one who can see it all is the more painful path, but then I watch in real time what happens, and I know I have the easier road. At least I still have that hope. I don’t need blind faith. ”
She turns and grips my shoulders.
“Mordecai. Your parents had the strongest prayers for you. They loved you, not knowing what you are, who you are, but they prayed so loud it made the empty Hall of Petitions echo with their love.”
I stare into her shadowed eyes.
“Who am I?” It’s not the question I meant to ask, but it slips out.
“You can’t remember, but when you wake up, you’re going to remember everything, and you’re going to be emotional and hurting. It’s going to take some getting used to. I’m sorry about that, but you can’t tell her yet.” She rubs her hand over her mouth. “No, Kaida can’t know yet. It’s not time.”
“Tell her what?” I ask as she turns and walks away.
The dream dissolves, and I’m standing watching me that is not me lean forward, kissing Kaida’s cheek.
“What’s he doing?” I ask because I’m afraid. I’m so afraid of what’s about to happen.
“He’s giving up his godhood to become a warrior that will keep the omega goddess safe,” the prophet says easily. “See how determined he is.” She laughs softly. “Sorry, see how determined you were.”
My heart pounds in my chest as the omega lifts her hand to the spot where he kissed her. He doesn’t see. He doesn’t turn around; he disappears into the void, and I hear him screaming.
The world spins violently, and when it stops, I’m standing in a street staring at Keres.
She’s smiling and laughing, dressed in a long dress, with her hair to her waist. As I watch, she looks up and sees me.
She stills, the world stops turning, and without knowing why, I turn towards her.
Except it’s not me, it’s just a person who looks exactly like me, and when he smiles, he smiles like he can only see her.
“I am Mor—”
The vision changes; I’m wearing armour. My helmet drops from my hands, clanging on the cobblestones. She whips around, her white hair flying out like a banner. When she sees me, she smiles.
“De—”
I’m on a street; the city around us is burning. The smoke burns my nose, but I don’t look away from her.
“Cai—”
Over and over. I see myself meet her; I live myself meeting her until it stops, and I’m staring at her tied up to the cart on the way to Foreen.
“How many lives have we lived? How many times have we loved each other?” I whisper hoarsely.
“So many more than anyone suspects,” the prophet whispers. “It was the greatest sacrifice any of the gods has ever made.”
No, she’s not a prophet; she’s not human.
This is the goddess, the All-Seer. I remember now.
And as soon as I make that distinction, her clothes change, and she’s wearing a gown of satin grey that pools around her like liquid.
She’s got a headband that hangs low on her forehead with an aquamarine stone set in it.
“Goddess, forgive me,” I whisper.
“Nothing to forgive. Your memories were sealed, and it takes a while to undo them. But it is nice to talk to you without all the hostilities,” she teases.
“Do I remember in every life?”
“No, in some of them you remember, but in others you never know. But this is it. If you don’t save the alphas and omegas, you will not come back.
Your souls will fade back into the fabric of what created the worlds, and you will die.
If no alphas are born, what body can you inhabit?
If no omegas are born, how can she come back? ”
Chills run up and down my spine. This is it. I didn’t understand before, but now I do.
“And you?” I rasp out
“Yes, many of us will perish beside you. All the alphas, all the omegas, most of the betas. The world will be reshaped in the image of the Beta Goddess. The gods will never be revived, the world of Remmilow will remain empty, decaying into ruin, and the human world will turn red with the blood that flows.”
“Who is she?”
“The Beta Goddess of Pride lost her way. We call her Rose now because, though she is beautiful, she is full of thorns, and her beauty only goes skin deep. She had a massive following, but she forced her beta allies to fall. Now all that remains is her and her madness.”
“I don’t remember meeting her,” I murmur, clutching my head.
“No, you wouldn’t. You were already living in your forests, and then you’d fallen when she came and rose through the ranks. Perks of being an old god.” Her smile is warm, and I remember hosting her at my table.
“How did everyone miss it? Weren’t there signs?” I snap, frustrated.
“Of course, there were signs, but people looked the other way, those who said things were ignored. Gods were disappearing faster than we could keep track of. I was trying to save as many as I could, but it was too late. She had a power backing.”
“What about the High Alpha and High Omega?”