Chapter 53
Cadel's Song
I wake up in Jarek’s arms with Mordecai and Cadel behind me. For a moment, I think I’m back in Foreen, and I shift into fight-or-flight mode, reading to bounce up and defend my lovers.
But laughter trickles through the tent. Soft, youthful laughter.
I sit up, wiggling free, needing to see this sound.
I pull on the new clothes that have been left for me.
The clothes are looser, more lightweight, the shirt is white, and the pants are a charcoal that is really pretty.
I pull on my boots, scrape my hair into a ponytail, and clip it before slipping out.
The light is brighter than I’ve seen for a while, and there are no buildings in sight. It’s just cliff walls, trees, green everywhere. The tents seem like they fit here, and the people move about confidently.
I hear the sound again and follow it, winding through the tents, until I come to a space behind all the tents where some of the children are running.
I watch them chasing, touching, running away. Giggles and laughter. Sounds I have not heard for years.
“Hey, do you want to help us?”
The omega smiles at me. She’s got long brown hair and kind eyes. I sit beside her.
“What are we weaving?” I ask without taking my eyes off the children.
“Traps for the fish.”
I nod and set to work.
“There are children here?” I ask cautiously.
“Yes, a number of them. Some have families, but a lot don’t. Orphans and casualties of the war.”
She’s talking to me, but I’m not paying attention. There are two children, a boy and a younger girl, both with hair that is the palest blond. They both have these blue eyes that I recognise.
My heart pounds, and my hands shake.
“Who are they?” I ask and point to the children.
“Those two? Siblings, they belong to an omega named Marian. They were found outside of Beta City.”
I nod my head and stand up. My head swivels, keeping the running children in sight, watching those joyful faces.
I want to find this Marian and ask her where they came from.
Did she see my mother? Did someone else escape?
I offer a murmured excuse, hand back the weaving, and back away to where I can watch in the shadows.
“Who are they?” Jarek murmurs, his fingers sliding into mine.
“My cousins. I think my mum got my cousins out. I think. Oh, I can’t believe it.
” I shake my head, rolling my shoulders to release the tension.
“Maybe the Beta’s Fang lied. He didn’t kill my baby cousin.
She’s got Rae’s eyes. She’s got our family's hair colour. Maybe I’m being hopeful, but in my heart, I know it’s them. ”
I turn and hug him.
“They’re alive!” I whisper and laugh in relief.
“Shall we go say hello?” Jarek teases.
I take a step and pause before I step back, pulling him with me. “No, we shouldn’t. They have a new life, and with any luck, they won’t remember what happened to their family.”
“Kaida,” Jarek murmurs my name and pulls me into a hug. “You don’t have to be so hard on yourself.”
“It’s better if they don’t know me. I’m toxic, and I get people killed just from knowing me. No, let them go. Let them live here, playing, laughing. They are so beautiful, Jarek. I think if my Aunt Rae could see this, she would be pleased.”
Legion joins them, crouching down, and the kids throw themselves at him. I squeeze Jarek’s hand harder, watching as he laughs and tickles them.
They were so heavy.
“Let’s go,” I whisper. “Come on. We don’t belong near children. When this is over, we can come and find them.”
Jarek is silent, but then he whirls, dragging me away with him.
“Where are we going?”
“Anywhere, we can do anything. What do you want to do?” He says, and I note the way his green eyes turn soft when he looks at me.
“I want to get away from people,” I say before I can think it through.
Jarek is silent for a long moment.
“Not you!” I say quickly. “I mean, everyone else. Did you honestly think I meant you? I want to be alone with my alphas,” I say shyly.
I can just see Jarek’s pleased grin on his profile. He swings our hands and then lifts my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles.
“Okay, let’s make it happen.”
In no time at all, my alphas are herding me away from the camp. We go to the back of the valley where Mordecai leads us into another hidden pathway. It’s narrower, but the cliffs aren’t as high. When we get out, I just stand there, staring.
The hill we’re on slants up, leading up to the mountaintop, but the forest is thick and lush. Grass blankets the ground, dotted here and there with violet and white flowers. It’s pristine and breathtaking like it doesn’t know that there’s a war happening not far from here.
I’ve seen some beautiful places, but this one, whilst it isn’t the most striking, has a calmness that makes me want to stay here forever.
I take a step and find myself suddenly on four paws. The scents are stronger; the ground feels amazing, and I’m happy. Actually happy. I spring into a run, sprinting with glorious abandon.
I turn and find myself face-to-face with a smirking red wolf. He steps forward, and I step back. Over and over. My fur lifts and falls, and I let out a deep whine. He huffs, his ears pricking, sniffing as he moves forward, stretching out his neck.
I dart away before we can touch, spinning and jumping, chased by three wolves. The black wolf with icy eyes hunts me mercilessly, while the Anarchy wolf, with its blood-tinged tips, rolls in the grass, content to watch.
Jarek knocks me down and grabs my throat, holding me still. Our game ends, and I find myself acutely aware of him.
Just that quickly, I find myself human again. My scent is strong in the air, but so is theirs. Jarek leans down, his eyes huge, green tinged with orange sparks. He’s stunning in both forms. I lean up and kiss his muzzle.
He growls and leaps at me. I fall back with a delighted shriek and find myself pinned by my alpha. His hands slide up my wrists and pin them above my head.
“Hello.”
“Hi,” I whisper back.
“Come on, let’s eat,” Mordecai says and grabs a bag. He starts unpacking it, dragging food out and passing it around. I look at the bread rolls, the hunks of meat and fish, cheese, and the berries and wonder how things have gotten this good.
“I never got to eat stuff like this,” I say and bite into the bread roll, tearing it with my teeth. “When I was on the run, I didn’t have the manpower to eat like this. Half the stuff I ate, I didn’t know if it would make me sick or not.”
Cadel watches me intently. “We won’t let that happen to you.”
“Of course, we won’t. Though, to be fair, I didn’t eat much better than Kaida. It’s hard on your own, and finding food becomes a desperate situation. It takes up so much of every day.”
Mordecai doesn’t say anything.
I peek at him.
“Finding enough food was hard, but we had lots of help, lots of community. There were some tough times, but nothing like that.”
Cadel shrugs. “I didn’t need to eat.”
I stare at him, my lip hooking up on one side, amused by his blunt admission.
“What was it like?”
Cadel thinks for a long time. “Lonely. It was just me and my purpose, and the purpose was growing less important as the years went on. My temper frayed, and things started to feel pointless.”
“So, you’re glad you’re here?” I tease.
He lifts his eyes, looking straight at me. “Yes, I would rather be with you for one day in the Culling Ground than spend an eternity anywhere else.”
My heart twists.
“What he said,” Jarek says and lays down, looking up at the canopy.
I lean over him, embarrassed at how much Cadel’s words have affected me. “What are you good at, Jarek?”
“Killing people.”
I snort a laugh and lean down, touching my lips to his. One of his hands lands on the small of my back, holding me in place. I lean back, pushing up with my arms, but don’t try to escape him.
“I’m good at being your alpha,” he says again with a wink.
I splutter and slap his chest.
“Jarek is an artist.”
I lift my head, staring at Mordecai, sure I heard wrong. “What?”
“He can work with blown glass, metal, and wood. He makes the most amazing creations.”
“How do you know that?” Jarek snarls, rolling out from under me and getting up on his hands and knees, glaring at Mordecai.
“I know that because the Resistance has been keeping tabs on you.”
I blink, sitting back on my heels. I want to be upset about the Resistance, but Jarek’s secret is too interesting.
“What about you?” Jarek snaps. “What can you do?”
“Me?” Mordecai snorts a laugh. “I’m a hunter. It’s a skill of which I’m very good. Who do you think kept tabs on you?”
They glare at each other until I look at Cadel, finding him peering between them. Is he good at something or is this one of those moments when I shouldn’t ask and make him feel left out?
Cadel pulls a long wooden flute out of the long black robe he’s wearing and looks at me.
I sit up straighter, my heart pounding. “You can play?”
“I can. Would you like me to play you a song, Omega?”
My mouth is dry, but I nod quickly and sit down, arranging myself to listen. The first notes turn the forest silent; they grab me by the heart and yank all of me to attention. As he plays, I discover he’s not just good; he’s a master.
The song whirls around, full of agony, and rises in joy and hope before it comes to a delicate ending that has me wiping away tears and sniffling.
“Can’t beat that,” Jarek says but with a good-natured smile.
Mordecai laughs, and I find myself staring at him, transfixed.
“I see how it is. He plays music, and he casts some voodoo god spell on you, and he just lets out one of his rare laughs, and you start getting all excited.”
I swipe at Jarek, but he rolls away laughing.
“I want to live in a place like this,” I say suddenly.
Jarek sits up. “Then I will build you a fine house. These two can sit and look pretty.”
Mordecai and Cadel look at each and shrug, content with their assignment.
“I need grass and wildflowers.”
“All the year long,” Jarek says.
“A porch to sit on and look at them.”
“Of course.”
“A huge bed,” Mordecai adds.
Jarek glares at him. “What do you think I am? A heathen? Of course, we need a huge bed.”
I lay on my back in the grass, looking up at the treetops. They lay down as well, one by one, until our heads are together, Cadel’s arm is resting across my stomach, flaring my arousal to life, but we ignore it.
“I want a cat,” Cadel says.
I grin and turn my head towards him.
“A cat?”
“Yeah, I want a cat,” he whispers. “A family.”
I lift my arms, hugging his arm to me. “A family would be nice,” I say with a pang.
One of my hands slides down to where I will never cradle any children.
“We can adopt a little kid who needs a family if you want,” Jarek says. “After.”
The thought blooms into life, a dream I didn’t think I’d have. I can see us raising a family together, living in a home together.
“I like this dream,” I murmur. “But one slight change?”
“Yes?”
“I want a bonding ceremony.”
They go silent, still. I wonder if they hate it.
“We can organize that,” Mordecai says softly.
“Tonight.”
Jarek sits up, twisting to stare down at me. The others have turned towards me.
“Tonight?”
“Yes.”
I wait nervously, shifting until Jarek presses a hard kiss to my forehead.
“Let’s make it official.”
“I’m in.”
Cadel nods, but I can see in his eyes that he’s pleased.
Giddy excitement fills me, and I roll onto my stomach. “Now we just need someone to officiate.”
“Uh, maybe I can help,” a voice says from close by.