30. Ethan
Ethan
SAM
I’m working but I’m bored. Want some company? We can work together.
I’ll bring cookies.
Asmile lit up my face at the sight of Sam’s messages.
Over the past few breakfasts, I’d found myself getting closer to him.
At first, we’d bonded over photography, but then we’d discovered a shared love of gaming.
He’d put me onto this one he liked to play called Creator.
I’d accumulated several hours of game play already, curled up on Rami’s lap while he read.
He’d made good on his promise of foot massages when I finally stopped to read the books I’d borrowed.
All in all, I’d been spending a lot of time with Rami. And I couldn’t have been happier about it.
Today though, he was busy with something at the house, which was why I was so glad to hear from Sam. I got to my feet and stretched before wandering into the living room. As usual, Quill was reclined on the sofa, a bowl of Krave balanced precariously on his chest.
I cleared my throat so as not to startle him. “Hey, do you mind if Sam comes over?”
Quill dragged his eyes away from the old season of Below Deck playing on the TV. “Course not, I love Sam. He’s great. You don’t need to ask, by the way. This place is as much yours as it is ours.”
I shuffled my feet. “Still, it’s polite.”
“Because we’re all so polite here.” Quill snorted. “But thanks, it’s appreciated.”
I laughed as I returned to the dining room, which I’d set up as a little workstation.
Quill was right, politeness was the last adjective I’d use to describe my housemates.
Sure, they were friendly and considerate to me, but they took no prisoners when it came to tearing each other a new one.
Just this morning, Dahlia had threatened to disembowel Quill for leaving crumbs on the stove.
I thought she’d been joking.
Hopefully.
With Quill happy to have company over, I shot Sam a text.
Sure, come on over. It’s just me and Quill here.
I made all of us a cup of tea, doctoring Sam’s the way he liked it and popping Quill’s through to the living room. I was just sitting back down at the table when Sam bustled in. “Thank fuck you were around. I was going out of my mind with boredom.”
“No Ez today?”
“He’s busy with a work thing.” Sam sighed, pulling his laptop out of his satchel and sitting down. “Which I don’t begrudge, obviously. It’s funny; I never used to have company while I worked, but now that I’m used to it, I hate doing it alone.”
“I’m not used to it either,” I admitted shyly. “But I’m happy to keep you company.”
“You’ll be extra happy when you see what I’ve brought with me,” Sam said, rummaging in his bag once more. He pulled out two yellow packets triumphantly. “Jelly Babies!”
“Oh my god.” I took a bag from him and immediately ripped it open and popped three in my mouth at the same time. “I haven’t had these in years! American candy has nothing on Jelly Babies.”
Sam put a hand to his chest in horror. “You poor soul. Fancy going years without the best sweet on earth. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to keep you stocked up in future.”
What I was really looking forward to was having Sam as a friend.
If that came with sweets? Even better.
We fell into a quiet rhythm as we settled in to work. Every now and then, Sam would show me a graphic he was working on, asking for my photographer’s eye to give him feedback. Meanwhile, I’d ask him to choose between two different shots of Rami.
Sam was right—working with someone else was much nicer. Before I knew it, three hours had passed, and Sam was stretching in his chair.
“Right, I don’t know about you, but I fancy fish and chips,” he said. “Shall we see if Ez and Rami want to pick them up and bring them here?”
“We can’t ask them that,” I said, flustered. “It’s fine, I can go grab them.”
Sam laughed, putting a hand on my shoulder to make me sit back down. “Trust me, Rami will be thrilled to do it. Besides, you’re not asking, I am. I’ll text Zeke now and I bet you ten pounds that Rami turns up with him.”
“If you say so,” I said, trying not to let my secret desire for Sam to be right show on my face.
Fifteen minutes later, I was handing a crisp ten-pound note over to Sam.
And I didn’t even try to keep the smile off my lips.
“Yes, Aesha, you tell her!” Quill whooped, scattering biscuit crumbs down his front. “Who does she think she is?”
I smirked at Quill over the top of my laptop screen. “Come on, Quill, she’s second stew, you’ve heard her say it often enough.”
Outside, rain pelted the windows. It was a cosy reminder that I was home, not in California. I was sat with someone who wanted my company, not someone who was merely tolerating my presence.
I was so happy.
My focus moved from the TV to my laptop screen as I adjusted the colour saturation. Rami was busy again this morning, but I’d still spent hours staring at him as I edited the many images from his photo shoots.
Sam was going to have a lot to choose from, but apparently he needed more costumed shots. He’d phoned me earlier, booking me in for another shoot with Rami next week.
Honestly, I wasn’t convinced Sam’s authors would ever need this many covers, but I wasn’t about to turn down work.
Especially work that involved Rami.
Not that I needed a shoot to see him. I joined him for breakfast every morning, and later in the day, he’d inevitably turn up with food, usually something he’d cooked. My weight was creeping up nicely, and I suspected Lily would be thrilled at my appointment this afternoon.
My gut clenched at the thought, but I ignored it. Wasn’t like I’d get any results today anyway.
Unless your markers are really bad, in which case they’ll call you in for more tests.
I took several deep breaths. If that happens, it’s okay. You’ll cross that bridge when you get to it. You won’t be alone.
No, I wouldn’t be. Rami had made it clear that he wouldn’t just be with me for the appointment, but for the forty-eight hours after it. I’d explained that I’d be anxious in case I got a call, so he’d declared that he’d be at my side throughout.
“Are you okay?”
I whipped my head around to see Quill staring at me, his eyes narrowed. “Me? I’m fine.”
“Hmm.” He shoved another biscuit into his mouth, talking around it. “You’re talking to a Master Bullshitter here. I know you’re not fine.”
I gave him a small smile. “Got some blood tests this afternoon and I’m a bit nervous.”
“Scared of needles?”
“Nah.” I laughed. And thank fuck I wasn’t, given how many I’d been pricked with over the past several months. “Just the results.”
“You don’t need to worry,” he said in the same confident manner Rami had. “You’ll be fine.”
“Are you a doctor now, as well as a deckhand?”
He scowled at the TV. “I’m telling you, I could do better than half these fuckers. I mean, who doesn’t even know what a whip is? Or a bowline? It’s not rocket science, people.”
I went back to my editing with a smile. While I didn’t share Rami’s or Quill’s optimism, I wasn’t going to let it stop me living.
I’d keep doing that until the day the Grim Reaper himself decided to pay me a visit.
Rami drove us to the hospital. I was too anxious to talk much, but thankfully he didn’t push, just put on a song by Caffeine Daydreams as we drove through the city.
“I love this one,” I murmured, letting the familiar tune soothe me. “It’s my favourite.”
“I heard you humming it the other day, thought it might relax you.”
I reached out to rest my hand on his knee. Nothing was going to relax me today, but having him here? Knowing I wasn’t alone?
It made the load I was carrying easier to bear.
When we’d parked, Rami clicked his fingers and dashed back to the car. “Shit. Nearly forgot.”
I watched with a frown as he opened his boot. “What are you doing?”
“I got these,” Rami said, pulling out a massive bouquet of flowers and a small gift bag. He jogged back over to me, worrying at his lower lip. “They’re for Lily. That’s who we’re seeing today, right?”
My jaw swung open. “You got my nurse flowers?”
He huffed, rolling his eyes. “You told me she was the one who looked after you during every session. Of course I got her flowers, Ethan. I’d buy her a house if I thought you’d let me get away with it.”
I was so touched that I was speechless. Instead of using my words, I grabbed the back of Rami’s neck and pulled his lips down to meet mine. I tried to convey everything I didn’t know how to say with the kiss. My gratitude for how thoughtful he was. For his considerate nature. For caring.
Rami had a slightly punch-drunk grin on his face when he parted. “Remind me to buy someone flowers every day if that’s how you thank me.”
“Lily might kiss you too,” I warned him as I took a sniff of the daisies and tulips that made up the bouquet. “I don’t think the NHS gives much thanks aside from a salary.”
“Am I okay to take them in?” he asked anxiously. “I remembered you saying they’re very strict about what you can take onto the chemo ward.”
“You remember that?”
“I remember everything you’ve told me.”
My heart. I was in danger of losing it entirely to this wonderful man who stood before me.
Scratch that, it was already lost. Think it had been since I got into his car and asked him to take me away from my pain.
He’d done just that, and so much more.
“We’re seeing her in her office, so it’s fine,” I reassured him. “She’s going to be thrilled to bits.”
Anxiety filled me as we made our way through the familiar corridors, but then Rami’s hand slid into mine.
I wasn’t alone.
He kept hold of me right until we were at Lily’s door.
“There’s my favourite patient,” she said as I entered, standing up and opening her arms for a hug.
“I bet you say that to all the boys.” I stepped into her embrace and gave her a fierce squeeze.
“Only the ones who bring eye candy,” she quipped, looking over my shoulder. “Speaking of which…”
“I’m Rami. It’s wonderful to meet you.” He extended the hand not clutching the flowers and bag to Lily. “I hear you’re the one who took such good care of Ethan here when he was sick.”
Lily smiled as she shook his hand. “We take care of everyone who passes through those doors. It’s what we do.”
“Which is why I’ve brought you these.” He held out the flowers and bag. “There’s three boxes of chocolates in there—one for you, one for the ward, and one for a Ms. Elizabeth to steal.”
Lily laughed uproariously as she accepted the gifts. “I see Ethan’s been keeping you informed of all the gossip. Thank you. You didn’t need to do this, but it’s very much appreciated.”
“I haven’t known Ethan long, but he’s a very special man,” he said. “I’m grateful that you were here when no one else was.”
Lily snorted as she deposited the gifts on her desk and bustled to the sink to wash her hands. “Am I to hope you’ve finally traded Dave in for this upgrade here?”
Rami coughed to cover his laugh. I did no such thing, letting my own laughter ring through the air. “You’re terrible, Lily. Men aren’t cars.”
“No, cars are more bleedin’ useful than Dave,” she muttered. “Up on the scales with you, let’s get you weighed.”
I hopped on them dutifully. Her face lit up as she checked the reading. “Marvellous, Ethan. Absolutely marvellous. You’re already back up at a healthy weight.”
“Rami’s home cooking is to thank.” I patted my tummy. “Few more meals and I might need to start cutting back.”
“You’ll be gorgeous whatever you weigh,” Rami said from his position against the wall.
“You’ve got a long while before you need to worry about it, health wise,” Lily said.
“Trust me, my weight is the least of my worries.” I eyed the needle she was preparing nervously, terror suddenly thick in my veins. I wanted to ask her not to do it. To run out the door. To get into Rami’s car and beg him to take me away again, somewhere where test results couldn’t find me.
But that wasn’t the mature thing to do. Hiding wouldn’t change my reality. If the cancer was back, if they’d made a mistake previously, then it was better to know than not.
With that thought on repeat in my mind, I plastered on a smile and held out my arm for her.