31. Rami
Rami
Anxiety hummed from Ethan. I didn’t even need the mark to tell me—I could read it in every tense line of his body. The smile he gave Lily as she took his blood was the most fake I’d ever seen him wear. Even the casual chatter he exchanged with her was stilted, his mind clearly elsewhere.
I knew where, too. I knew exactly what Ethan was frightened of. I also knew that it wasn’t going to happen. I’d told him as such.
But he hadn’t believed me.
Why would he? As far as he knew, I was just another human. A friend, perhaps more, who didn’t want him going through this journey alone.
The truth…the truth would set him free. It’d open the cage he was trapped in and allow him to enjoy life without the constant fear that each day might be his last.
So why wasn’t I telling him?
Gloria was the main reason. If she got wind that Ethan knew about angels without a mating bond, we could have the same situation as with Sam. With how often he’d been visiting the compound, we were running that risk already.
On the other hand, there was Damien. None of us knew precisely where he was or why he hadn’t made a move.
Nor did we have a concrete plan in place for how to either track him down or trap him.
Our searches had proven fruitless. Even Mori had come up for the day in an attempt to find him.
For him to be able to hide from Lucifer’s former tracker was disturbing.
I kept waiting for him to approach Ethan somehow, but there’d been nothing. His sons hadn’t been surprised by this lack of contact. Apparently his M.O. was to stick to the shadows until he saw his time to strike.
How he’d come across Ethan in the first place was also a mystery. Ezra hypothesised that they’d crossed paths in California as that was the last place they’d known Damien was located.
If Ethan knew exactly who, or rather what, was stalking him, he’d be on guard.
That alone wasn’t enough reason to tell him though. Not when he was guarded around the clock by several powerful supes.
But watching him suffer through this anxiety? Sitting through tests I knew he didn’t need? For an outcome that would never come to pass?
That was enough reason.
With Ethan distracted, I surreptitiously pulled my phone out and shot a message to the group chat.
RAMI
I’m going to tell Ethan the truth.
EZ
Are you sure that’s wise with Gloria?
THEO
Fuck Gloria. Go get your man.
brEANN
Happy for you, Rami.
NOAH
This is great news.
GRACE
Yay! He’s going to be thrilled.
BENJI
Finally. You should’ve told him on day one.
MICAH
We’re behind you whatever you choose.
There was one noticeable absence among the replies. My lips twisted sadly. Nate had never seemed bothered about finding his fated mate in the past, but I knew all too well how hard it was to watch those around you fall in love with their perfect other halves.
Nate already considered himself half of a whole. A whole he’d thought would share a mate one day.
But Theo had sensed his mate.
Nate hadn’t.
“All done.” Lily’s announcement had me pocketing my phone and stepping forwards in case Ethan needed a hand up. “Usual procedure—your results will be available on the NHS app in a few days.”
Ethan’s throat bobbed. “You’ll call me before that if you find anything?”
The smile she gave him was full of such understanding it made me wish I’d brought her a hundred bunches of flowers. “Yes, Ethan. But hopefully that won’t be the case. Let’s both keep our fingers crossed that we won’t see each other again for another six weeks.”
He placed a hand over his heart, as if wounded. “Anyone would think you were sick of me.”
She chuckled, waggling her brows in my direction. “If Rami comes along, with or without gifts, you can visit as often as you like.”
He laughed, the sound light enough to have some of the tension leaving me. “I see how easily I’ve been replaced in your heart.”
Lily winked. “What can I say? I’m a fickle woman.”
“Thanks, Lily,” he said, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
Not something I imagined most patients did with their nurses, but it was clear the two had built a bond.
I made a mental note to have Nate do some sleuthing on Lily.
Whatever her heart desired, I was going to make it happen.
Not just for what she’d done for Ethan, but because of what she obviously did for all her patients.
For just a few minutes, she was able to make them smile.
Now, I was going to do that for her.
“Well, I’m glad that’s done,” Ethan said as we stepped out into the corridor, rolling his sleeve down over the cotton Lily had taped there. “Now for the fun part.”
I linked his arm with mine, releasing a small dose of power and healing the tiny pinprick the needle had left behind. It would’ve healed fast anyway, what with Ethan being marked, but I couldn’t stand the idea of him being injured for a second longer than necessary.
Just like I couldn’t stand the thought of him being in the dark about my true nature any longer. I was kicking myself for not telling him before today, before this appointment.
“’Scuse me,” an exhausted looking porter called out wearily as he pushed a large cart towards us.
I tugged Ethan to the side by his arm before immediately nudging him in the other direction to avoid a couple of doctors who were running in the direction of A&E. “It’s busy here today.”
“Always is. Busiest hospital in London.”
I wouldn’t know that. Generally, I tried to avoid hospitals. Once upon a time, I’d made a point of seeking out medical facilities in every city I visited. I’d walk through the wards, hidden by a compulsion net, silently healing every patient I passed.
I was caught and punished for it.
Then, I was caught and punished again.
The third time, my position with the Seraphim had been threatened. That had me staying my hand for a century.
Until I did it again.
That time, it wasn’t just my position threatened, but my very existence. Even so, it had taken a lot of convincing from the rest of the Seraphim for me to stop making such visits. All of them supported me, but not at the cost of losing me.
Free will was a tricky concept. Why was it okay for me to keep my life when I could save others before it was taken from me?
Benji’s argument had been the turning point. He’d pointed out that, if I was executed, I wouldn’t be there to help when it was truly needed. All those lives I might save when I was permitted to intervene would be lost.
Didn’t make it any easier. Even now, I still bent the rules. Just a few years ago, there’d been a terrible accident in London. A crane had fallen from a building, crashing onto the street below, and then through it.
Right on top of a tube line.
Thanks to Nox’s and Micah’s proximity to the event, I’d been able to get there fast enough to save people. Many, many people.
Shit like that didn’t happen often, thank fuck, but I was grateful that I could help when it did. Still, I hated being in hospitals, knowing I could take away the suffering of so many but that I wasn’t allowed to.
Just then, the lifts to our right opened.
Another porter pushed a trolley out. In the centre was a tiny girl, no older than three.
Her head was completely bald, her skin holding a greenish tinge I’d seen all too many times.
The bed was so big she was almost swallowed up by it.
A small tube was under her nose, helping her to breathe.
Seeing the child was hard enough.
But her mother…her mother broke me.
She was at her daughter’s side, holding her hand tight.
There was a smile on her face as she kept up a constant stream of chatter about someone called Dotty.
Her cat, I suspected. You wouldn’t know from her voice that she was shattering.
It was in the bruise-like bags under her eyes.
The deep lines carved around her mouth—far too deep for someone her age.
In her crumpled clothes and unbrushed hair.
This was a woman whose heart was already broken. Who was trying to hold it together for the sake of her child.
“Oh,” Ethan said as he spotted them. Grief leaked from his mark as he leaned into me. “Let’s move aside.”
We did so in silence. I should’ve let them pass. I knew this.
But how could I? I knew all the reasons not to. Especially not now I had Ethan. It was too much to risk. One person making a miraculous recovery from cancer at this hospital was enough. Two would raise questions.
“It’s not fair,” Ethan whispered after they passed us. “It’s not fucking fair, Rami. Why me? Why’d I get better instead of her?”
Ethan’s words pushed me past the edge of the decision I’d been hovering over.
My power shot after them, washing through the little girl and healing her.
For good measure, I let it rush through her mother too, restoring her stamina and killing off anything nasty that might be biding its time, waiting for the worst possible moment to let itself be known.
When it was done, I tugged Ethan closer and kissed his head. “A miracle happened for you, Eth, maybe it’ll happen for her too.”
It already had. Once he knew the truth, I could tell him that.
We were silent as we made our way outside. As soon as we were in the fresh air, Ethan took several deep breaths, like he was cleansing his lungs. “Fuck. I hate the smell of hospitals.”
I spotted a café over the road. “How about we make Lily even happier and go grab you some cake?”
He laughed. “You will have to stop feeding me up eventually.”
“Tell you what, we’ll have our coffee and cake, then how about we walk it off around Richmond Park?”
Ethan sighed happily. “Now that sounds heavenly.”
I wished I was looking forward to it as much as Ethan was, but in truth, I was terrified. Even if Ethan took the news well, it was still a huge thing for him to adjust to.
And if he didn’t take it well? If he rightly hated me for lying to him? For leaving him in this limbo of anxiety when I could’ve told him earlier?
He might go on this walk and keep on walking. Right out of my life, with my heart in his hands.
The café was packed. Doctors deep in conversation, tapping away at iPads. Nurses yawning over coffees, looking half-dead on their feet. Patients chatting with their family members, seemingly thrilled to have a taste of normality.
Ethan and I joined the back of the queue. He tried to peer down at the counter but it was blocked from his view. “Can you see what cakes they have?”
I was tall enough to have a clear vantage point. “Red velvet, chocolate fudge, and lemon.” He pulled a face at the last one, making me laugh. “Wait, do you not like lemon cake?”
“Absolutely not.” He shuddered. “Whoever thought to combine citrus and cake ought to be hung, drawn, and quartered.”
Another laugh rumbled from me. “The vast majority of people would disagree with you there.”
Later, I wouldn’t be able to say exactly what tipped me off.
Maybe it was how the hair on my arms suddenly rose. Or how my instincts were screaming at me to get Ethan out of there. Perhaps even the quiet click. Such an innocuous sound. Especially in a busy place like this.
Whatever it was, it had me reacting instantly.
I threw out my shield over as many as I could.
But I was too late.
The noise hit us first.
Followed by searing heat.
Ethan gasped, the explosion heading our way reflected in his eyes.
I was already on the move.
My wings ripped from my back as I enclosed Ethan in my arms. Spinning, I let my feathers take the heat of the blast.
I closed my eyes, keeping my shield steady. I wasn’t covering myself, just Ethan and any other humans I could reach.
But it wasn’t going to be enough.
It only lasted a split second, but it felt like forever.
My ears rang from the blast, but the sound faded quickly, to be replaced with another.
Screams. The kind I was all too familiar with. Ones of pain. Horror.
Grief.
Ethan was shaking in my arms. I didn’t let him go, even as I hit the emergency button on my watch. The one that would have the entire unit arriving in seconds. “Eth? Baby, are you hurt?”
His eyes were wide as he stared up at me. At the wings peeking over my shoulders. I could already feel them stitching themselves back together, my healing fixing the damage.
But, from the shock and horror in my mate’s eyes, I didn’t think the damage it had done to us could be repaired as easily.