Epilogue – Ethan
EIGHTEEN MONTHS LATER
“Just keep breathing,” Sam said as he pulled glasses out of the cupboard. “You’ve got this.”
“What if they hate me?” I asked, slumping onto a stool at the kitchen island. “What if this is a terrible mistake?”
Sam clucked, bustling over to wrap his arms around me. “How could they possibly hate you, Ethan? You’re one of the nicest people I know. Look at it this way—if they do hate you, which they won’t, you still have me. I’m your best friend now. Well, me and Quill.”
I chuckled, some of the anxiety dissipating. “That’s true. I’d be lost without you guys.”
While everyone had accepted me into their homes and hearts, there was no denying that Sam and Quill were the ones I’d formed the strongest bonds with.
Quill was doing better now, thank fuck, but he wasn’t coming today.
With the amount of people travelling up from Southampton for this BBQ, almost all of the Seraphim and their mates had excused themselves.
Mostly out of respect for Sam, who didn’t do well with large groups, but also for me.
They all knew what today meant to me. The last thing I needed was an audience.
The ones we’d invited thought they were coming here for a relaxed social, where they’d be introduced to Rami’s mate.
None of them knew that mate was me.
Sam was still hugging me. He was very particular about who he touched and vice versa, but this had been our normal for months now. “And if anyone is mean, I’ll have Zeke smite them.”
That had me laughing. “Now that’d be guaranteed to start another war between the demons and angels. Plus a vampire, I guess. And isn’t Danny a wolf shifter?”
“I think so.” Sam finally released me, then poured a glass of wine and pushed it over to me. “We’ve got the whole collection today.”
“Not from what I’ve heard,” I said. “Did you know there are dragon shifters too? And bears. Apparently Dagon insists he met a kraken once.”
Sam went to respond, but the door to the kitchen opened, Ezekiel’s head poking in. He and Sam were the only ones who’d remained to support me and Rami. “They’re almost here, Ethan.”
I nodded, tension knotting in my stomach again. Almost immediately, I felt Rami’s soothing presence thrum in response.
My mate had been the one to set this all up. It’d taken until last month for me to feel ready for this reunion. Enough time for me to adjust to all the changes my life had seen and survive the fresh chaos that had ripped through the Seraphim, but not long enough to talk myself out of it.
Rami had gone down to the gate to lift the wards for them to enter. He’d suggested I go with him, but that’d felt too much. Let them get settled first with a drink, then we’d drop the bombshell.
Sam smiled sympathetically. “Come out when you’re ready.”
I nodded before retreating to the cosy room. Over the past year and a half, I’d helped Sam make it even comfier. The whole thing had needed to be extended to accommodate the other humans who’d joined our little group. Now, Sam was far from alone when danger called.
As I closed the door behind me, part of me wished the others could be here today. Like everyone else, they’d become family, even if they hadn’t all been here that long.
Next time, I told myself.
Assuming Matty, Riley, and Lucky would want to see me again.
I took several deep breaths, waiting for Rami. I wasn’t going out there without him. There was no way.
Thankfully, I didn’t need to wait long. The bond tugged, telling me he was close. A second later, his deep voice rumbled through the door. “Open up, baby. It’s just me.”
I sprang up and typed the code into the small pad by the door. Only the humans knew the code—something the Seraphim had insisted on. Not because they thought they couldn’t be trusted, but just in case someone used one of them to try and force the door open.
Honestly, I couldn’t see how that would even be possible, but I’d learned long ago that arguing about anything seen as relating to our safety as mates was pointless.
“Hi,” I said, finally breathing easier at the sight of Rami’s face. “All good?”
“Yes.” He tugged me into his chest and rubbed my back the way I liked, holding me tight. “How are you doing?”
“Nervous,” I murmured. “What if this isn’t the right thing to do?”
“If you’re not ready, I can make them all leave,” Rami said. “But if that happens, I think you’ll regret it.”
“You’re right.” I blew out a long breath before smiling weakly at my mate. “Time to rip the plaster off.”
“I’m so proud of you, baby,” Rami said, kissing me. “And when this is all done, I’ll show you just how proud I am with my mouth.”
I whimpered, reaching down to adjust myself. Eighteen months together, and this insatiable need for him hadn’t lessened at all. If anything, it had grown. “Why would you say that right before we go out there?”
“To distract you.” He took my hand and led me through the house. “And give you an incentive to get through this.”
I smirked. “Are you saying you won’t give me a blow job if I can’t get through this?”
Rami grumbled. “You know you’ll be getting one regardless.”
I fell silent as we entered the kitchen. The humans in the garden wouldn’t be able to hear me if I spoke now, but the supes would. My heart beat faster as we approached the back door. I could hear a low level of chatter, and I clutched Rami’s hand tighter.
Those were my friends out there. Friends I hadn’t seen in years because I’d let myself get caught up in a relationship. Friends who’d lived full and happy lives without me.
What if they didn’t want to let me back in? I wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t.
Even if it would break my heart.
Rami sent love through the bond, echoing it with his words. “I love you. Everyone in this house and the one a couple of streets away loves you too. Nothing is going to change that.”
Logically, I knew that was true, but my feet had come to a halt and I couldn’t make them move.
Just then, I heard a sound I hadn’t heard in years. It had my breath catching in my throat.
Matty’s laugh.
Suddenly, I couldn’t wait a second longer. I opened the door and stepped through.
Several of them, including all the humans, had their backs to us, but Sebastian and Ferry didn’t. I saw the moment they recognised me, their mouths opening in shock as their words trailed off.
“Everyone, I’d like you to meet my mate, Ethan,” Rami announced, his hand tight around mine. “Or, should I say, re-meet.”
Heads whipped around, shock on every face. But there were only three I cared about.
Matty, Lucky, and Riley turned as one. Their eyes were wide, mouths hanging open in disbelief. None of them said a word, completely dumbstruck.
Come on, Ethan, you can do this.
I took a deep breath and smiled. “Hi. I know this is a surprise, but—”
I didn’t get another word out. Matty gave a soft sob, and suddenly he was there, throwing his arms around my neck and practically strangling me.
Before I could hug him back, two more bodies hit me. We tumbled to the ground, the four of us in a sort of cuddle pile. I couldn’t tell whose arms were whose, just that they were all hugging me.
I think that was the moment the tears started.
“What the fuck?” Riley was whispering. “How the fuck?”
Lucky was speaking too, repeating the same sentence over and over. “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it.”
Only Matty didn’t speak. He was far from silent though, sobbing unreservedly as he held me.
“I’m sorry,” I croaked through the tears. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
That had Matty pulling back, blinking at me owlishly. “Wait, what are you sorry for?”
Riley and Lucky sat back too, both looking confused. Several feet away, I saw Rami, Ezekiel, and Sam ushering the others away to a table we’d set up under the trees. It wouldn’t give us much privacy, but I was grateful that they were doing what they could.
“I’m sorry for ghosting you all.” I looked down at my hands, shaking in my lap. “For getting so involved with Dave that I let you all slip away. I’m sorry for not reaching out over the past few years, and especially since I became Rami’s mate.”
Riley’s eyes narrowed. “When did that happen, exactly?”
I winced. “A year and a half ago.”
Hurt crossed all their faces and I felt like the worst kind of arsehole.
Lucky shook his head sadly. “I won’t lie, Ethan. That stings.”
“I know,” I said heavily. “I’m sorry. I had reasons, and I’d like to explain them, if you’re willing to listen?”
They were all silent for a second, exchanging looks. It had my heart breaking in my chest. Once, I would’ve been included in this silent discussion, but not now.
I looked up to find Sam staring at me. He patted his chest lightly and smiled. It had the chokehold on my heart lessening slightly.
Even if they rejected me, I still had friends. A family. A mate.
I was loved. I wasn’t alone.
“I completely understand if you don’t want to give me a chance,” I said. “I know I don’t deserve one.”
“Everyone deserves one,” Matty said immediately, reaching out to grab my hand. “Right, guys?”
Lucky nodded, but Riley was slower to agree. None of this surprised me.
Riley would be the hardest to convince. Of all of them, he was the one I’d been closest to.
The one I’d likely hurt the most.
“Come on,” I said, getting to my feet. “We set up a little spot for us over here.”
I led them over to the picnic blanket Sam and I had laid out earlier.
I couldn’t help but notice our movements being tracked by everyone at the table.
I smiled at Rami, trying to reassure him that I was okay.
From the flat look he gave me, he didn’t buy it.
Probably didn’t help that the bond meant I couldn’t bullshit him.
We all sat down and my three friends stared at me expectantly. A lump formed in my throat and I had to blink tears away. “Sorry. I’ve been anticipating this for such a long time…it’s a little overwhelming.”
Riley folded his arms over his chest. “You’re the one who made it such a long time, not us. I can’t believe you’ve been with Rami for eighteen months. A year and a half, Ethan!”