Epilogue – Ethan #2
He may as well have hit me for how much his words hurt. I saw Rami stand out of the corner of my eye. Across from him, an unfamiliar man stood up too, growling at Rami. I was going to assume he was Danny, as he was the only one attending today who I hadn’t met.
Before he could go toe to toe with Rami, Riley whipped his head round. “Sit the fuck down, Daniel, or no sex for a week.”
Danny turned to face Riley, hands going to his hips. “We both know you’ll break before I do, Princess.”
I watched, fascinated, as Riley continued to glare at the handsome man. “Wanna put it to the test?”
Danny rolled his eyes, retaking his seat at the table. Rami glanced back at me, waiting for my nod before doing the same.
“Fucking supernatural posturing,” Riley muttered, but the faint flush on his cheekbones suggested he didn’t mind it at all.
Matty giggled. “You’ve learned how to rein him in far faster than we did.”
Riley rolled his eyes. “Five years of friendship before finally making it official will do that.”
The realisation hit me. “Danny’s your mate?”
Riley nodded, smiling. “Yeah. It’s fairly new. Took us a long while to pull our heads out of our arses.”
“He made Seb seem fast,” Matty said in an almost confidential whisper.
“No one can beat Dimitri and Dagon,” Lucky said fondly, looking over at his two mates. Like the others, they were watching us closely. “They took fucking centuries.”
“That’s because they were waiting to meet you,” Riley said.
More tears burned my eyes as I stared down at my hands again. I’d missed out on so much. On everything they’d been through these past few years.
And, worst of all, Riley was right. It was all my fault.
“Hey, are you okay?”
I looked up at Matty’s question to find the three of them staring at me with concern. “Yeah. I was just thinking about how much I’ve missed out on.” Riley opened his mouth, but I held up a hand to stop him. “I know. I know it’s because of me.”
Pain passed over his features. “Actually, I was going to say it makes me sad too. I’ve missed you, Ethan.”
“We all have,” Matty said. Lucky nodded in agreement. “But you’re here now, so let’s hear your story. Start with Dave and then tell us how you managed to lock down the flirtiest supe of them all.”
I laughed, remembering how Rami had told me about how he’d once flirted with Matty, not realising Seb had already made a claim. Not that the vampire had been willing to acknowledge that at the time. “He really is a fucking flirt. Even when I was with Dave, he couldn’t help himself.”
“Aw, man, you were still with him when you met?” Lucky was dismayed. “Poor Rami.”
“I know.” I ran a hand through my curls. “Believe me, I wish it hadn’t been that way.”
I started my story then. I fully admitted to how I’d invested too much of myself in my relationship, chasing my heart and dreams across an ocean. That part was easy.
Admitting why I’d cut contact completely was much harder.
“For fuck’s sake,” Riley ground out when I’d finished. “I should’ve known there was a reason. I should’ve fucking pushed.”
I reached over to touch his hand. “It wouldn’t have changed anything, Riley. I was being stubborn.”
“But we would’ve been there for you,” Matty said, confused. “I don’t understand why you wouldn’t let us.”
“Because doing that would’ve meant admitting I wasn’t happy,” I said. “I wasn’t ready to admit that, not even to myself.”
“I get it,” Lucky said suddenly, his eyes solemn. “It’s easier to pretend sometimes.”
“Okay, so we know why you left and why you stopped speaking to us,” Riley said slowly. “But when did you come back? And why didn’t you reach out then?”
I tried to find the words. God, they were already upset just finding out how unhappy I’d been in LA. How would they react to the next part?
I needed Rami. I couldn’t do this without him.
I looked over at the table to find him already striding over. He gave the others an easy grin. “Mind if I join you?”
They all nodded and Rami sat behind me, scooting forwards until my back was against his chest, his long legs on either side of me. His hands settled on my stomach, and he rested his chin on my shoulder. My breaths came a little easier.
“Before Ethan continues,” Rami said, “I want you to know that I’ve already read him the riot act over what he’s going to tell you several times.
He really believed he was doing the right thing for all of you.
Telling you this was the main reason he didn’t want to contact you before now.
He was terrified that you’d all walk out immediately and never want to speak to him again. He still is.”
“That won’t happen,” Matty said firmly. “Now you’re back in our lives, we’re not letting you go again.”
“Agreed.” Riley nodded. “You’re not going anywhere. But I’m going to withhold any promises about not being angry until I’ve heard.”
“Oh, you’ll be angry,” Rami said mildly. “There’s no doubt about that.”
Foreboding flickered in Matty’s eyes. Beside him, Lucky scooted a little closer.
Even with Rami supporting me, I still had to swallow a few times before I could get the words out. “A few years ago, I was diagnosed with terminal cancer.”
Riley sucked in a breath while Lucky froze.
Matty made an odd, strangled noise, his head turning towards the table.
As with Rami, Sebastian was on the move, along with all the other mates.
Ferry and Leo were on their heels. Only Ezekiel and Sam stayed where they were, both shooting me encouraging looks.
Dagon and Dimitri silently sat behind Lucky, while Sebastian sat on Matty’s other side. Meanwhile, Danny lifted Riley off the ground before sitting back down with him on his lap.
The final spaces on the rug were taken up by Ferry and Leo. Matty’s brother reached out to ruffle my curls. “It’s good to see you, Ethan.”
I found myself smiling at him. “Ditto.”
Everyone looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to continue.
I did, barely pausing for breath as I described how I’d received my diagnosis.
How Dave and I had packed up our lives to return to the UK.
That we’d chosen London for the hospitals.
“I wanted to fight. In spite of what all the doctors said, I wasn’t ready. ”
“You should’ve called us,” Riley said from Danny’s lap, his voice cracking. “The second you got your diagnosis, you should’ve fucking called us.”
Rami stiffened, but I put my hand on his leg to stop him speaking. I needed his support, but I didn’t need him to fight my battles for me. “What kind of person would that have made me, Riley? I’d ghosted you all for years at that point. Hell, Matty got married and I didn’t even know.”
“I’m sorry,” Matty said through tears. “I should’ve told you.”
Sebastian was glaring at me like he was wondering if he could stab me before Rami stopped him. Knowing what I did about him now, I wouldn’t put it past him.
“Please don’t apologise,” I said to Matty gently. “That wasn’t a criticism, just me pointing out how removed I was from your lives. I hadn’t been there for any of you, why would I expect you to be there for me?”
“Because we still care about you,” Lucky exploded suddenly. “Just because you weren’t in our lives, it didn’t mean we wouldn’t have been there. For fuck’s sake, Ethan. What kind of men do you think we are?”
Shame filled my throat, so thick I almost choked on it. “I’m sorry.”
“Ethan knows what he did was wrong,” Rami said quietly. “But, in his defence, he was trying to protect you.”
“Protect us?” Matty asked. “How?”
“Because I knew I was dying,” I choked out. “I didn’t want any of you to suffer through that, especially given we hadn’t spoken for years. What kind of man would that make me?”
Several people started speaking at the same time.
“A man who deserves to be loved!”
“Someone who knows people care about him.”
“I can’t believe you thought that was okay.”
“How do you think we would’ve felt learning you died through fucking social media?”
“Quiet!” Ferry’s shout had everyone falling silent.
He glared around the little circle. “Watching someone you love die is no joke, especially if there’s no coming back for them.
It cuts away a part of your soul that can never heal.
There’s no pain like it, so don’t judge Ethan for trying to protect you from that. ”
Leo slid his hand into his mate’s.
“I knew Leo would be back one day,” Ferry continued quietly.
“But that didn’t make watching him die any easier.
” He lifted his chin as he met my gaze. “I’m not saying you did the right thing, Ethan.
But I understand why you did it. You knew you were going to suffer, and you didn’t want to make anyone else do so too. ”
I nodded, my throat thick.
“At least you didn’t go through chemo alone,” Matty said, rubbing his arms. “Your mum was there, right?”
I tensed. Of course they didn’t know this. Why would they? “Ah…Mum died a few years ago. Before I was diagnosed.”
More tears followed that revelation, followed by tight hugs and yet more rebukes for not reaching out.
When that was done, Riley shot me a pitying look. “Are you saying the only person there during chemo was Dave?”
Rami growled. “Dave wasn’t there. He apparently had better things to do than attend Ethan’s treatments.”
I turned to glare at him over my shoulder. That wasn’t information I’d planned on sharing. Rami shrugged. “Sorry, babe, but they deserve to know the whole truth.”
“Where is he?” Riley demanded, getting to his feet. “I don’t need Danny to kill him, I’ll murder the fucker myself.”