Chapter 32
Lila
My flight arrives thirty minutes early, and I decide to walk to a coffee shop and get myself an espresso while I wait on Max.
I'm giddy with happiness that I landed the role of a lifetime, but a part of me feels nervous and sad.
I don't want to leave New York. I don't want to move to LA, and I don't want to end things with Max like this.
But when I received his text message saying that we had to talk, I had a feeling that he was going to tell me it was over.
I had a feeling that he'd been offered the job in DC and was going to tell me he was going to move.
It broke my heart. I just didn't know how to think or to feel. I didn't know how my life could be upended by someone I hadn't even known for six months.
I drink my espresso and think about calling Zara, Skye, or Juniper, but I don't even want to talk to anyone.
I just want to sit in my feelings. I can feel tears starting to roll down my cheeks as I sit here.
I'm sad, but I shouldn't be. I should feel happy. I’m about to achieve a milestone that I've been thinking about since I was a little girl.
I finally landed a role in a movie. I was going to be the star of a film with a producer who had actually worked for big studios, and they wanted to submit the film to Sundance and to Cannes.
If everything goes well, I could become a real name in the industry.
It could lead to roles that pay a lot of money and could very well set me up for stardom.
But as I sit here holding my cup, I realize I don't care about any of that.
I didn't get into acting to become famous.
I went into acting because I love the creative ability to be different people and live different lives and soar into different worlds.
And maybe part of that was because I didn't have my own life or my own love.
I didn't have my own dreams other than acting, but now I do.
My phone beeps, and I see that Max is five minutes away.
I smile as I look at his name on my screen.
Max has grown into the most important person in my life, and it's scary.
I finish my espresso, crumple up the little paper cup, and toss it into the trash.
I grab my suitcase and roll it toward the front so I can jump into whatever car Max is arriving in.
I wonder if Henry is surprised about our relationship. He's always very polite and nice to me, but I wonder if he feels like everything has moved so quickly.
My phone rings, and I answer. "Hey."
"I'm pulling up right now."
"Okay. I'm standing outside," I say. I look to the left and see a bright red Mercedes pulling up. "Nice car," I say as I stare at the G Wagon.
"Hey, that's me," Max says, grinning.
"You're in a Mercedes?"
"Yeah, I rented one to pick you up."
"You're picking me up without Henry?"
"Yes, I do know how to drive, you know."
"I know, but you always have the driver."
"I wanted to pick you up myself." He sounds emotional, and I’m not sure why. I’ve never heard his voice this deep before.
I watch as the Mercedes pulls over and stops, and Max gets out of the car.
He comes running to me, and because I'm stupid and girlish, I run to him, too.
He lifts me up, swings me around, and kisses me as if he hasn't seen me in years.
And I kiss him back, holding on to him like this is the last time we will ever be in each other's company.
I kiss him as if he's going away to war.
I kiss him as if I don't know if I'll ever see him again, and then he sets me back down.
"I like what you've done with your hair," he says, grinning.
"It's just a ponytail. I've had it in a ponytail many times."
"I know," he says, grabbing my hand and squeezing. "How was the flight?"
"Not bad. Long, but we actually landed a little ahead of schedule."
He walks over to the car and opens the passenger door. "In you go, my dear."
"Thank you. You're such a gentleman."
"I try. It's the southern man in me."
"I guess I should have dated more southern men in my life."
"Well, you won't be doing that anytime soon, I hope," he says, though there's a concerned look in his eyes.
I grin, and he slams the door shut. I watch as he grabs my bag and puts it into the back of the car, then slides into the driver's seat.
"So, congratulations again. You're going to have to tell me all about this role. What's the movie about?”
"It's called Animals Behaving Badly," I say, staring at him.
"What?" He raises an eyebrow as he starts the car and pulls out. "Animals Behaving Badly?"
"Yeah." I laugh. "It's not really about animals. It's about men and women because, at our base, we're all animals."
"Okay, and what's your role?"
"I'll be playing the role of Lisa. She's just graduated from college, and she is dating a middle-aged man who's married."
"Ouch," he says.
"Yeah, but it's even more complicated than that. He's actually the husband of her lifelong friend."
"What?" he says. "Her lifelong friend who's also graduated from college?"
"No. So, when she was younger, she worked in a bakery to earn money for college, and the owner of the bakery is her friend, Simone, and the guy she's having an affair with is Simone's husband."
"Oh, that sounds horrible."
"Exactly. She feels super conflicted. She loves him because she thinks he's the love of her life. Yet, she feels incredibly guilty because she's betraying Simone, who's always been there for her."
"Well, yeah, she should."
"And well, basically, Simone ends up dying."
"Oh, this sounds a little depressing."
"It is kind of sad. But then, when Simone dies, Lisa is left a bunch of letters."
"Letters from Simone?"
"Exactly. When she reads the letters, she finds out that Simone knew that she was having an affair with her husband but that Simone didn't blame her. Simone just wished for her the strength to leave him and to actually have her own life."
"Wow. That's dreadfully nice of Simone."
"Well, it turns out that Simone had also been the other woman and that the husband was actually her best friend's baby daddy. Simone had stolen him from her best friend, and that's why she knew that she couldn't judge my character, because the saying is, as you get them is how you lose them. Anyway, there’s this scene where she goes down to the ocean, and she realizes that she doesn’t like who she’s become and that even though she’s been blaming him, she also isn’t any better.
” I stare at him. “Sorry, I’ve just been going on and on. ”
“No, it sounds really interesting. It sounds like a role you can really sink your teeth into.”
“Yeah. I thought that it was nuanced enough to really push me to my limits because, obviously, I think my character’s a dog and a bitch, and I would never be friends with someone who slept with a married man. But I guess that’s part of being an actress.”
“I guess so,” he says. “I’m excited to see the movie. When do you have to go back to LA to start filming?”
“I’m not sure,” I say. “We might be going to Canada and a small town in Croatia.”
“Oh.” He looks at me. “So you won’t even be in the States.”
“I’m not a hundred percent sure yet. I think they’re still figuring out the shooting locations.” I lick my lips nervously. “So, how was DC?”
“I wasn’t in DC, Lila,” he says after a couple of moments.
“What? What do you mean, you weren't in DC? Where were you?"
"I went to South Carolina," he says as he merges onto the freeway.
"But I thought you were in DC looking for a job. Were you in South Carolina looking for a job?"
"I don't know where Marie got that from, but I wasn't looking for a job. I'm a partner at a law firm, Lila. You know that."
"I know, but your aspiration is to become a Supreme Court Justice. I thought there was some job that…"
"Oh, you and Marie really do not know much about the law and the pathway to becoming a judge.
" He starts laughing. "There's no job that is going to make it easier for me to become a Supreme Court Justice in DC.
" He shakes his head. "I told Marie I was going to DC because I didn't want her to know I was going to South Carolina. "
"Oh, was it about her and the baby?"
My head starts pounding.
"No," he says. "It was about something else."
"Are you going to tell me?" I ask him, wondering if he trusts me enough to tell me what was going on in his life.
"Lila, of course, I’m going to tell you. I didn't want to tell you beforehand because I didn't want to ruin the surprise, but perhaps that was a mistake."
"What surprise?" I wrinkle my nose. "It's not my birthday. You're not throwing me a surprise party or something, are you?"
"No," he says. He takes a deep breath and pulls over to the right and turns to me with a serious expression.
"What are you doing?"
"I need to have this conversation with you face-to-face. I think there's a little park around here," he says.
We drive for about five more minutes in silence before he pulls over, and we get out of the car. He grabs my hands and pulls me toward him.
"So, Lila, there's something I have to tell you.”
My heart races. He's going to dump me, I think to myself. Tears rush to my eyes.
"I love you."
"What?" I say, and I can't stop the smile from spreading across my face.
"I love you. Like stupidly love you. Crazy, stupid, intoxicating love."
"You love me? What? That's why you pulled over? Are you just going to keep saying that or…?"
"Or what?" he says teasingly.
"What do you want me to say?" I pause, pretending I'm stupid.
"Really, Lila?"
"I love you, too, Max. Obviously."
I reach up and put my arms around his neck. He leans down and kisses me long and hard.
"I love you more than there are stars in the sky," I say.
"Good," he says.
"Good? That's it?"
"No, I just wanted to make sure that we were on the same page before I tell you why I was in South Carolina."
"Um… you're making me nervous."
"Lila, I went to South Carolina to get my grandma's ring."