Chapter 32 #2
He reaches into his back pocket, pulls out a little black box, and opens it. I stare down at a beautiful diamond ring.
"Wow, that's amazing."
"Not as amazing as you," he says. "I wanted my grandma's ring because I wanted to use it to propose to you, but I realize that I've been selfish.
I've been rushing this relationship because I love you. We’ve just connected so well, and I think you're the funniest, most brilliant woman I've ever come into contact with.
But I've realized that we still don't know each other well enough to take that step. "
"What do you mean?"
"I met you, and I knew you wanted to be an actress, but in the last month, we haven't once talked about your acting. And to be honest, I haven't even thought about it, and that's not right. I need to prove that I support you in each and every way, and…"
"I didn't realize how serious you were about the fact that you wanted to become a Supreme Court Justice," I say, nodding. "And I feel like I should have asked you more about those goals when we first spoke about it.” I feel guilty for not having asked him more about his aspirations in life.
"I don't even want that anymore," he says.
"I realized that I wanted to go down that route because I wanted to prove to my dad that I was the best I could be because I had issues with him about his dreams for me.
But I don't want to become a Supreme Court Justice.
I don't need to prove anything to my dad.
I love being an attorney. I love my partners and the work that I do, even when I sometimes represent those who do not stand on the same moral ground as myself. "
I laugh at that.
"I love you, Lila. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you to be my wife. I want to have kids with you, but I also want you to achieve your goals and dreams, and I can wait."
"Are you not going to propose to me anymore?" I say, staring at him and then at the ring in his hand.
"I didn't want you to have to…"
"Are you not going to propose to me anymore, Max Spector? You went all the way to South Carolina to get a ring and now you're not going to propose to me?"
"I don't want to stop you from…"
"Proposing to me is not going to stop me from going for my dreams." I glare at him.
"So, you're saying you would say yes?"
"Ask me and see."
He looks down at me with so much love in his eyes that I feel like my own heart is going to burst out of my chest. He drops down onto one knee, grabs my hand, and looks up at me.
"Now, this is not what I had planned or the romantic proposal that I was going to create for you, but I suppose sometimes spontaneity in life means more.
I love you, Lila Haversham. I may have loved you since the first moment I saw you.
I think we are soulmates who have been searching for each other for our entire lives.
I believe that if we were here before, we were together.
I believe that our souls are tethered to each other.
Our spirits know that they're home. I want to marry you, and I want to make you my wife.
I want you to be the mother of my children, and I'm willing to wait however long it takes for those children to come.
I will follow you around the world. Whatever you want.
I just want to be by your side. Will you marry me? "
"I feel like I have no words," I whisper.
And as I stare down at him, I realize that he's everything I ever could have wanted and dreamed of. The tears spring to my eyes, and I jump up and down.
"Yes, Max. Yes! I love you so much. I love you so much. I will marry you. I will follow you around the world, as well. You are definitely the other part of me. Your heart is my heart."
He slips the ring onto my finger and hugs me close to him. I reach up and touch the side of his face and kiss him.
"You know something, Max Spector?"
"What?" he says.
"When I was on the train that day, and I was trying to practice my lines, I couldn't cry because I wasn't connected to the emotions.
I wasn't connected to the character because I'd never had my heart broken in such a way that it meant anything to me.
I'd never been that distraught by a relationship, and now here I am, crying with happiness and tears that will never stop because I love you so much, and I realize that's something I never had before.
That's why I hadn't yet made it as an actress, and I think that's why this audition went so well for me.
Because I feel the words as I say them now.
I'm not just acting a part. When I say you're my heart, you're my soul, you're my everything, I feel it in every fiber of my being because you, Max Spector, are all those things and more to me.
I love you so much, and I know this has gone incredibly quickly, but when you know, you know. "
"I love you, Lila, and before you even offer, do not even think about giving up that job. We will make it work."
My jaw drops as I stare at him. "How did you know that I…"
"Because I know you. I know how selfless you are. I know how much you love me, as well, and I know you’d give up that role just to be with me.
Well, now it’s time for me to give up something for you.
If we have to go to Croatia, to Canada, to freaking Timbuktu, I will go.
I want you to make it as an actress. I want you to become a star, and I will do whatever I can to make it happen. ”
“You know what I realized, Max?” I say softly.
“No. What?”