Chapter 29
Marc
Ijust had to make it to the car. I just had to make it to the car.
My foot slipped on the second to last step, and I stumbled the rest of the way to the ground floor.
I could make it. Of course, it’d be a hell of a lot easier if I could stop shaking.
But I wouldn’t lose it. Not here, not where he could see.
I just had to make it to the car. Then… then I could figure it out.
I barely retained enough presence of mind to lock the receiving door behind me before bolting to the driver’s side door like my ass was on fire.
The key was in the ignition, and I was shifting gears halfway through putting on my seatbelt.
I’d made it to the car. Now I needed distance, somewhere isolated where I could fall apart.
My grand hopes of making it to the nature preserve went up in smoke—well, water—when stubborn tears made driving an insurmountable task.
I whipped into the nearest parking lot of a business that thankfully wouldn’t be open for several more hours and shifted the car into park with a hand shaking so badly it took me three tries. Then I broke.
This always happened to me. God, I’d been such an idiot.
I couldn’t do casual, and I’d clearly deluded myself into believing JD was on the same page.
Just because I didn’t have a lot of experience didn’t mean I was completely na?ve.
I knew JD’s reputation as a flirt and even a playboy.
Hell, that’s how this mess started. And I what?
Thought things would be different with me because he indulged me? How desperate did I have to be?
I considered calling Alex, but couldn’t bring myself to do even that.
I was so mortified. She shouldn’t have to keep putting me together because I couldn’t read simple cues, couldn’t pay attention to what people were really saying.
James had said he wanted to fuck, not make love, not hold each other, not be there in there morning, not wake up in each other’s arms.
A fresh batch of hot tears streaked down my face, and I angrily swiped them away.
This is what I got for believing I could actually have what other people did.
JD would re-enlist and be gone the second his leave was up.
I knew that. I’d known that. He hadn’t exactly left any room for doubt when he pointblank refused to talk to me about it.
That was something you discussed with a partner, maybe a close friend.
I let out a wet laugh. I probably barely registered as a friend with benefits.
A quick glance at the clock showed I’d already taken too long, and I still needed to pick up the promised breakfast. I wiped away the evidence of my meltdown and checked my reflection.
It would have to do. Then pulled out of the vacant lot to make my way to the nearest coffee shop.
He probably wouldn’t be in town much longer.
I could pretend to be okay. After all, I’d been pretending my whole life.
I parked on the street and walked inside where, of course, there was a line. Whatever. Wasn’t like the day could get any worse.
“Shouldn’t you be picking flowers or something? Thought that stupid shop of yours was opening today,” Brody sneered behind me.
I sighed internally. Spoke too soon. “The flowers actually come already plucked and cut. But you’re right about the shop opening.
You should stop by,” I added with a shrug.
Even though I wasn’t looking at him, I could feel his disbelieving stare.
“Maybe get some flowers for your Nana. She still big into hydrangeas?”
“You’re really something, Weathers,” Brody scoffed.
“I’m really not.” I stepped forward to place my order, but one glance at the menu and the plethora of options was enough to make me seriously consider walking out empty-handed.
Digging deep, I placed my standard order, adding, “the sweetest coffee special you have and one of each of today’s muffins.
” I moved aside while they filled the order, giving Brody a chance to place his.
Should have known he’d choose to wait for his order right next to me.
“Looks like your boyfriend’s got a sweet tooth,” he snickered, twirling a straw between his fingers.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I replied morosely. And hoping, dreaming, believing, or otherwise deluding wouldn’t change that.
He made a disgusted sound. “You’re no fun today. What crawled up your ass and died?”
“What do you care, Brody? You’ve never liked me.” I picked up the to-go carrier of coffees and the bag of muffins and turned to face him.
“I don’t like you because you’re an uptight, pretentious shit who always thinks he’s better than everyone else,” he snarled, snatching his coffee off the counter.
“Whatever you say, Brody.” I pushed past him to make my way out.
Never one to miss an opportunity to have the last word, he called after me. “You should have stayed in the army. No one wants you here.” His words drilled into my chest as the door swung shut behind me. It was almost funny how close he was to being right.
Back at the shop, I took a few moments to make sure I at least looked pulled together and would stay that way.
I even smiled at my reflection in the rearview mirror for good measure.
It didn’t feel natural, but I could fake it.
Wasn’t like I hadn’t done it before. I ignored the twinge in my chest as I gathered the food and let myself back inside.
To my surprise, all the lights were on, and JD was bustling around the shop.
“Oh, hey, you were taking a little longer, so I figured there was probably a line or something,” he said as he walked toward me. I kept a tight rein on my emotions and forced my body to remain relaxed.
“Um, yeah. Here.” I passed him his drink and the bag of muffins. “Just got the sweetest coffee they had. Hope that’s okay.”
He flashed me a grin and smacked a kiss on my cheek that threatened to destroy all my efforts at keeping my shit together.
“I’m sure it’ll be great.” Then he caught me looking at the tulip and buttercup arrangement.
“Shit, was I not supposed to take it out yet? It just looked like an awesome display piece showcasing your talent. I figured you’d want it front and center. But I can totally put it back.”
“No, no, you’re right. I got a little carried away, and it’s for sure a display piece now,” I admitted with a half smile.
He searched my face for a moment, and I knew I needed to step up my pretending.
It wasn’t enough to be present, I’d have to pretend that everything was fine, that I wasn’t hopelessly in love with him, that it hadn’t completely shredded me waking up without him after having sex, that my heart wasn’t already withering at the edges like the petals of a flower past its season.
I could compartmentalize. I’d been good at it once. The army had made me better.
“I, uh, like what you did with the bow. It’s impressive,” he said at last.
“Good, I was worried you’d think I ruined your ‘masterpiece’,” I said, imitating Great Aunt Petunia and adding a more genuine smile.
He scoffed. “Hardly. Come save me from myself. These muffins are way too good to leave me unattended with.”
“I was wondering if you were planning to share,” I teased, sounding closer to normal.
A sip of my scalding coffee further served to re-shore my front.
We walked around to the front of the shop, where we took positions behind the counter.
I diligently did not think about how easily this could be our routine or how it kind of already felt like it was.
Instead, I watched JD spread the muffins out on the paper bag they’d come in and snatched up the banana nut muffin he was reaching for before he could get to it.
He gave me an incredulous look, hand still hovering over where the muffin had been.
“What?” I asked around a mouthful of muffin.
“You are something else.” He plucked up a chocolate chip muffin and took an obnoxiously oversized bite, causing crumbs to tumble everywhere.
I raised an eyebrow at him, and I’m positive if he could have stuck his tongue out, he would have.
He finished chewing and leaned on the counter, looking perfectly happy as he steadily sipped on his tooth rot in a cup.
Rather than mirror him, I rested my back against the counter so at least most of my crumbs landed behind the counter.
“Oh, I almost forgot, Andy wanted me to tell you ‘Hi’, and he says good luck today.”
I jerked, burning my tongue with too big a drink of coffee, and looked at him. “When did you talk to Andy?”
“I’m trying to follow this awesome guy I know’s advice and reached out to him this morning. It was pretty early, so I just texted, but apparently he was awake and he called back rather than text a reply.” He shrugged as if it were nothing, but I knew better.
I nudged his arm. “That’s pretty awesome. You’ll have to send him some pics of the store during the day.”
JD’s eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. “That’s a great idea.
Now, important question.” He shifted, so he was leaning on his arm, facing me.
“What should I expect today? Should I be helping to sell flowers? Manning the counter? Answering questions? Standing here looking pretty?” he finished with a cheeky grin.
I snorted at that and finished polishing off my coffee, then dusted my hands of muffin crumbs.
“As pretty as you are, James, the only one whose job is to stand there and look pretty in this shop is the flowers. But nice try.” I winked at him and walked around the counter to unlock the front door and officially flip the sign to “Open.” To my surprise, there was already a small queue of people waiting to come in.
“Mama, it’s the flower man!” little Rumi shouted enthusiastically in a wisteria purple dress.
Merilee smiled indulgently and playfully rolled her eyes where her exuberant child couldn’t see. “We would have come to support either way, but Rumi insisted we had to be here first thing. She also insisted that we bring you special flowers to celebrate your shop opening.”
Rumi let out a scandalized gasp. “Mama, it was a surprise. I wanted to tell him.”
“Oh, excuse me. Rumi has something she would like to give you. Also, Rumi, dear, you can’t keep calling him ‘the flower man’. This is Mr. Weathers.” Rumi scrunched her cute little face in distaste, and Merilee gave me an apologetic look. “We’re working on manners.”
I squatted down to be on Rumi’s level. “How about this? You can call me Mr. Marc. Is that better?”
Rumi thought about it in that serious way only little kids can think about things, then nodded. “Okay. What about your friend? What do I call him? Daddy says his name is JD, but Mama says I’m not ‘upposed to call him that.”
I chuckled and looked back at JD, watching on with undisguised humor. “You’ll have to ask him.”
“Okay!” She went to run, made it three steps into the store, came to a screeching halt, and spun back around. “Oh yeah. These are for you. And your friend, I guess. Mama says it’s important to share, but you don’t always have to share if you don’t want to.”
“Thank you, I love them,” I replied, but she was already off to talk to JD. “She’s a hoot,” I said to Merilee as I straightened up, a smile stretching my face.
“A handful more like.” We walked into the store after her rambunctious daughter, allowing more people to wander inside, including, I was surprised to note, a rather surly Martha Elcott.
“I really do love the wildflowers,” I said, smiling softly at the small bundle Rumi’d given me.
Merilee made an aggrieved noise and covered her eyes.
“Please don’t feel you need to keep them, though I appreciate you being sweet to Rumi.
The flowers you have here are absolutely gorgeous.
I imagine the last thing you want crowding your counters are mismatched wildflowers my daughter found on the way here. ”
“Quite the contrary. Technically, all flowers are wild, or they were. And these are extra special because they were picked with intent and given with joy.” I ran a finger lightly over a long, slim, white petal.
She wiped away a stray tear, though she didn’t seem upset. “Oh my stars. I’m so happy you’ve reopened this place and that you’re bringing the same kind of energy. It’s been greatly missed. Can I… Can I give you a hug?”
“Uh, yes?” Before I could second-guess the decision, Merilee swept me up in a quick but fierce hug. No sooner had she released me than Rumi was bouncing back over.
“Mr. Marc, Mr. Marc.”
“Yes, Rumi?” I asked with a smile.
“I know I said you didn’t have to share your flowers if you didn’t want to, but I was really hoping I could borrow just one for Mr. James so he can put it in his hair. It’s curly now! Pretty please,” she asked, drawing out the please until I couldn’t hold back my chuckle.
“I also believe in sharing and would love to. I think this one would look perfect. What do you think?” I pulled a single stem free of the bunch that boasted multiple blooms with slim white petals.
She held it, and I could see literal stars in her eyes.
“It is perfect. Thank you!” With that, she spun on her heel and raced back to JD, who was already kneeling so Rumi could place the flowers in his hair.
I met his gaze as he straightened back up, and my heart gave a rebellious flutter.
The honeysuckles really did look perfect.