31. Spiraling
Chapter thirty-one
Spiraling
Paul
When Maggie hadn’t answered her hotel room door at one like usual, I panicked.
Had she left town? Did she go back to Chicago without telling me?
I thought about texting her to ask her where the hell she was, but I didn’t want to distract her if she was driving.
So, I didn’t. Instead, I looked like a damn fool going store to store downtown.
Found something to buy at most of the stores so I didn’t look like an idiot for being there.
At the farm supply store, I remembered her high school friend, Suzie, owned the store next door.
The moment I laid eyes on Maggie through the window of Heavenly Scents, I wanted to haul her out of there, take her to her hotel room, and pleasure her against every surface.
But she didn’t want to leave with me. Her eyes shone with a mixture of shame, defiance, and disinterest, which hurt more than forgetting me today.
Since that first day at the diner, Maggie and I really hadn’t been seen together out in public.
Everything we did was hidden behind closed doors.
Maybe it bothered her that we were having sex without being committed to each other.
She’d always said she didn’t believe in her daddy’s teachings, but what if a part of her did?
Was she ready to end what we were doing?
Or what if she was getting restless not labeling what we were to each other?
Did she need definitions? Problem was that I didn’t know how to call what we were doing “dating” when, as far as I knew, she was already dating someone else?
I wasn’t overly excited about that part, usually choosing to ignore it, but I had no idea how to approach her with it when she was losing her mom and my life was still a mess.
If she was seeing someone, though, why wouldn’t he have come with her? Would he really let her face her mother’s last days alone? I sure as hell wouldn’t, which is why I’ve been there for her in whatever way she’d allow.
So, when Maggie shrugged me off to catch up with Suzie, I decided it meant that I had to do try something different. I’d take her out and show her a good time. So, I’d finish my work in time to wash the truck, shower, dress, and pick her up at six.
Once I got her to agree, it took everything in me to walk away from her.
I managed to keep my cock under control, but only until I made it into the driver’s seat of my truck.
The oppressive summer air should have made my erection wilt, but it only reminded me of my time with Maggie at the pond.
Adjusting myself, I was too distracted to notice anyone approaching.
“Mr. Stratton,” an authoritative voice said.
Whacking my head on the ceiling, I startled, then threw the deputy a glare. “Connor, what the hell?”
My friend, Deputy McDaniel chuckled. “Can’t believe I’m seeing you in the flesh. You’re usually with Maggie at this time, aren’t you?”
My heart stalled for a second, then started up at double time. No, it wasn’t possible. I was always so careful not to be seen.
“What’re you yapping about?”
Connor smirked as he leaned on the open truck windowsill. “You’re usually in Maggie’s hotel room this time of day. Did she get sick of you or something? Kick you to the curb?”
With a massive shove, I pushed Connor off my truck door, lunged at him, and had him smashed against the truck in seconds. “Whaddya know about that?”
“You’re assaulting an officer,” he said with a glare.
I narrowed my eyes, pulling him back and slamming him against the truck again. “Don’t pretend to go all official on me. You provoked me on purpose. Are you following me or something? What do you know about me and Maggie?”
Slapping my hands from his uniform shirt collar, he straightened up and brushed off his uniform. “The whole town knows, you fool. Pictures of you meeting up with her are all over social media. You two are the worst-kept secret in town.”
No, this couldn’t be happening.
After pacing for a minute, I kicked my truck tire. “Dammit!”
He leaned his shoulder against the truck with his arms crossed. “Why don’t you want anyone to know? You two’re dating, right?”
Digging my toe into the dirt, I shrugged.
“Right?” he repeated, giving me a shove.
I slammed my arms crossed. “How the hell should I know?”
His brows furrowed. “Because you talk about it and decide together. You telling me it’s fine to fuck her, but you’re too puffed up to talk about what it means?”
Adrenaline surged in my veins, making my fist fly, connecting with a loud thump as I hit his jaw. “You shut up about her!”
Connor chuckled as he assessed his jaw with one hand. “Yeah, you want to be with her, but something’s holding you back. What’re you gonna do about it?”
My chest heaved as unspent adrenaline coursed through me. “I’m taking her on a date tonight. Up in Mainview. We’ll talk then.”
He tipped his chin at me. “Atta boy. Use the time wisely. Someone like Maggie’s gonna attract attention.” Rubbing his jaw, he cringed as he reached the part that was starting to bruise. “If you don’t close the deal, someone else will.”
“Better get some ice on that,” I said, tipping my chin to him. “My right hook’s a bitch.”
Connor chuckled. “Yeah, you get that one for free since I was testing you. Just wondered if you two were screwing around or if she really meant that much to you now that she’s back and not just a memory.”
I deflated, leaning back on the truck. “She matters.”
Longing for her hurt so damn much that it made my chest ache. To be so far from her and still know she was only a few yards away, just out of reach, where I couldn’t hold her or kiss her was torture.
He patted my chest. “Then do something about it, man. Cause you look like hell. And it ain’t just the dark circles under your eyes. You’re hurting. Any fool can see that. So, take care of it. Lock her down and stop fucking around.”
I tipped my chin to him. Connor had been a friend after my high school years.
I met him at a stupid bonfire Josh dragged me along to the fall after Maggie left.
Spending time with him gave me time away from my brothers which kept me sane.
We went bowling and played cornhole at his daddy’s place some weekends.
Then, when he was going to the police academy, I helped him study for his exams. He’d become a pal, but he also knew where my buttons were.
And he knew Maggie was the biggest of them all.
Part of me knew his advice was right. Maggie and I did need to talk, but what kind of conversation could we have without coming back to the obstacles between us?
We lived in different places and she would be grieving her mother.
I had no clue what to ask for, and without a job, I had nothing to offer.
With the time until our date, I hoped I could come up with some ideas about how to approach things with her.
I wasn’t sure how my brothers knew, but by the time I came back to the farm, Josh and Sawyer were dancing around me like yippy dogs while Rob listened to everything from a distance.
Josh spoke first. “Heard you have a big date tonight.”
Sawyer glared at him for a second, then returned his eager eyes to me.
I stopped. “How’d you hear that?”
Sawyer fluttered his lashes at me while holding his hands clasped together in front of his chest. “Think he’ll get lucky at night’s end? Again?”
I punched him in the arm and held a finger up to Josh. “Where’re you getting your gossip?”
Josh huffed a laugh. “It’s all over the town social media page. How you stormed into Suzie’s shop and went all caveman.”
“Yeah,” Sawyer said, grinning. “It said you practically carried Maggie out of there over your shoulder. When she refused to go with you, you demanded a date with her.”
“Look, there are even pictures of you going into her room yesterday,” Josh said, pulling out his phone. “And the day before …”
I thought about snatching the phone from him to delete it, but it wouldn’t do any good.
It was already out there. Maggie and I were being watched by the whole town, which to some extent we already knew, but not like this.
Despite our discretion, there was a time-stamped photo of when I went into her room and when I came out yesterday.
Didn’t people in this goddamn town have anything better to do?
Instead of unleashing on them, I walked away, ignoring them. I had work to do, and I wasn’t confiding in those two about anything. They were almost as gossipy as Jo Ellen.
Thank goodness, Dad hollered for Josh and Sawyer, so they ran off to help him.
Taking a seat next to Rob with his laptop, I saw he was working on a few designs for me. When we got to talking about things, he turned the screen and I couldn’t believe what he’d put together.
“This is great, Rob,” I said, eager to see how to implement it online.
We worked for an hour or so before we had to get back to helping our brothers. Between the work on social media and an hour of physical labor to take the edge off, I hoped I’d be calmer by the time I showered.
But that turned out to be impossible. My thoughts raged out of control, feeling the pressure of this date.
No, pressure was too tame a word. There was a shit ton of expectations.
The town loved Maggie and wanted her to come home.
It felt like it was up to me to convince her I was worth loving so she’d marry me and come back for good.
While I wanted more than anything to be her husband, she worked hard for what she had in Chicago. I couldn’t ask her to give that up for me, especially when I had no way to support her. And there was no way in hell I was living off her instead.
My phone alarm interrupted my spiraling thoughts. Since it was time to get ready, I finished up, washed my truck, and went to shower. Despite whatever dumbass, crude things Josh and Sawyer hollered after me, I didn’t care. I couldn’t be late.
Dad saw me hollered to me from where he stood at the barn as I reached the front porch.