35. Now What?
Chapter thirty-five
Now What?
Paul
The morning after our date, I spent time writing a piece on the dangers of rain and how to prepare for natural disasters.
Now that I didn’t have to worry as much about the farm, I could focus most of my day growing my business.
Sure couldn’t live with Dad the rest of my life, so I was trying to build an occupation that didn’t involve being tied to this town.
Trying to come up with more ideas for blog entries, I thought about my time on the farm.
What I liked. What I didn’t. What were some common gripes, and what were the reasons people loved farming?
I knew what made me want to stick with it day in and day out, so maybe I could write something about it and spark a conversation on social media.
I put up a post, then thought about texting Maggie.
I wasn’t sure if she still wanted me to come see her after last night.
We went on our first official date, the town knew about it, but I didn’t know where we went from here.
Not when we seemed to mean more to each other than we ever had before.
Not after I showed her the place I hoped to buy someday and make a house with a small hobby ranch for rescued animals.
It was just a dream, of course, but I wanted to make that place my own with Maggie.
So, I called her. Maybe I’d get brownie points for talking.
The phone connected, but it was too muffled to hear anything.
“Mags, are you there?”
She sniffed. “Oh, hey.”
My stomach dropped. “What happened?”
I immediately thought the worst. Had her mother died in the night?
A few sobs came over the line. “I had a really bad morning. Mom is confused. Father is just mean.”
I needed to see her, hold her, and make sure she knew it was going to be alright. “Can you make it to the park? Let me support you through this.”
She blew her nose and returned to the phone. “Really?”
“Of course. Now, don’t worry about what you’re wearing or your hair or anything. Just come to our place and let’s have a little picnic. I’ll bring sandwiches. We can talk or not, whatever you need.”
Her voice sounded like she was about to burst into tears again. “Okay.”
Calling ahead to Vicki’s Deli, I ordered sandwiches to go.
It would only take a few minutes to pick those up and meet her in the park.
I raced through my errands, feeling like they were the only obstacles to being able to comfort Maggie.
Then, I tore into the park drive, angling into the closest parking place.
Grabbing the bag with our lunch, I jogged to the park bench where Maggie waited for me.
The first thing that I noticed was how she didn’t turn when I approached.
The paper bag was crinkling in my hand; I wasn’t quiet, but still she faced away from me.
That couldn’t be a good sign. Then I saw that she wore a long sweatshirt that fell off her shoulder even in this heat.
She always did get cold when she was upset.
Finally, as I approached her carefully, I saw she was barefoot.
Her tennis shoes she discarded to pull her legs up to her chest. She was dressing for comfort instead of propriety. This was bad.
Approaching with caution, I made sure I didn’t startle her. “Mags? I’m here.”
Her head fell to her knees at the sound of my voice, her shoulders softly shaking with her sobs.
Instead of insisting she look at me, I settled in on the bench beside her, supporting her back as I pulled her to my chest. Maggie melted into me and wept in a way I hadn’t heard since her cat was runover when we were kids.
Pulling her around, I lifted her onto my lap, holding her and pressing kisses to her temple. It wasn’t until her body had calmed for a while that I tried to find out what was wrong.
I pushed the sweaty flyaway hairs from her face. “I’m here for you, whatever you need.”
New tears formed in her eyes. “Mom’s changing, losing the present and living in the past. This morning, she thought I was sixteen, Paul.”
That didn’t sound good.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered into her hair as I cradled her closer again.
There was nothing I could say. There was no platitude or quote that could make her grief any better. So, I just held her until she was out of tears.
A strange sort of calm settled over her when her eyes finally drifted up to mine. “You came.”
I nodded. “You needed me.” Swallowing my pride, I told my truth. “Nothing can stop me from getting to you when you need me, Maggie Roth.”
With a hard swallow, she ducked away from my eyes. A rumble from her stomach startled us both.
“Hungry?” I asked.
She lifted one shoulder. “I could eat whenever you’re ready.” Handing her a bottle of water, I watched her take a long drink and replace the cap. “Thanks, Paul. You’re a good friend.”
One thing Maggie hadn’t talked much about was friends in Chicago.
With Suzie and a lot of the town who cared about her, it seemed like she had support here that she didn’t have in the city.
I wondered if more exposure to the town wouldn’t change her mind about exchanging the chaos of the big city for something slower paced.
So, after we ate, I worked up some courage. “So, ah, the Summer Festival is coming up in a couple days.”
She took a sip of her water. “Yeah. I wonder if Mrs. Baumgartner is still around. She always made the best strawberry pie.”
I smiled at the memory of Maggie eating herself sick on Mrs. Baumgartner’s pie in junior high. “Oh, yeah. She’s still here and competing with Minnie for the best pie in the Midwest. Pixie Baumgartner, her daughter is entering this year, too. Wanna go with me?”
Her lips parted and her eyes went wide. “You mean together?”
I lifted one shoulder. “I planned to go anyway. It’ll be more fun if we go together.”
It wasn’t untrue; Maggie always made everything more fun.
Her mouth opened and shut a few times. “But people will see us together. Won’t we get a thousand questions about whether we’re dating?”
While I knew how I wanted to answer that question, I had to leave it up to her. If she didn’t know what to say, then I didn’t either.
“Probably. But should we really let the town’s curiosity stop us from having a good time? Let’s just tell them we’re getting reacquainted, seeing where this thing might go. Ain’t that the truth?”
She lowered her chin and fiddled with the label on her water bottle. “Well, yeah, I guess so.”
“So, come with me,” I prompted. “You’ll see my brothers. Rob’s been anxious to see you and Sawyer’s girl, Leena will be there. He’s head over heels for her, and they’re really sweet together.”
She smiled at that. “I always knew Sawyer would be the first of you boys to settle down. He wears his heart on his sleeve for all to see. Makes things easier.”
I tried to understand what she was saying, but I didn’t understand how being a lovesick fool was all that helpful. “Makes what easier?”
Standing, she stretched like she was about to go for a run. Maggie didn’t run.
“Takes the guesswork out of things. Never mind. Thanks for lunch, but you’ve got to go, and I need to go for a run and try to work some things out. I’ll text you about the festival.”
Well, it wasn’t a “no,” but it wasn’t a resounding “yes” neither.
I stood, moving in close until she had to stop stretching.
“Look, Mags. I’m not trying to pressure you.
We can go as friends and tell the town to fuck off when they ask about us or I’ll kiss you in the square in front of everyone.
Thing is, I don’t need a definition to want to spend time with you.
I just want you to have a good time. If your goals for us are different, then tell me. ”
Pushing a strand of hair out of her face, I cupped her cheek, trying to understand what she wanted.
Maggie leaned into my hand. My heart stood still a second, then took off twice as fast. Just her reaction to a simple touch made me fight to stop myself from kissing her since I wasn’t sure she wanted that.
She was different today. Quiet, introspective, and sad.
I tread lightly until I knew what she needed from me.
“Okay,” she said with her eyes still closed.
“Let’s go to the festival. Text me when you boys are in town.
We’ll go have a good time together.” When her eyes drifted open, our lips were mere inches apart.
If she wanted to kiss me, she could have.
I felt her breath on my face and waited a moment to see what she’d do.
Her eyes studied mine, then she backed away. “See you later, Paul.”
Then she stretched her legs a couple of times and took off running on the trail through the park.
I wasn’t sure what happened, but we didn’t seem to be making any progress.
Even when I told her what I thought she wanted to hear, keeping things light between us and having fun while she was here, not pressuring her for more, something wasn’t right between us.
Maybe it was because of what was happening with her mom.
Maybe she didn’t feel right having fun while her mom was so sick.
Or maybe she was still sore about what her father said to her today.
I’d like to go over there and tell that man how amazing his daughter was, reminding him to treat her right from now on or else.
Part of me even wanted to pop him on the jaw to remind him not to mess with her again, but he was suffering, too.
The woman he married, the love of his life was dying.
For that, I’d cut him some slack. But it just meant I needed to work harder to cheer Maggie up.
And I knew three people who could help me do just that.