34. Girl Talk
Chapter thirty-four
Girl Talk
Maggie
The next morning, Suzie texted me to come for coffee before I went to see Mom. I brought us lattes that we sipped as we sat at her table in the shop.
“He was the perfect gentleman,” I told Suzie. “Really, he held the door for me, moved my chair for me to sit, and helped me in and out of that giant truck. The whole deal.”
She leaned forward with excitement. “And?”
I shook my head. “And after dinner, he drove me to a place in the country where we listened to music, danced a little, stared up at the stars, and then he brought me home.”
“And?” Suzie was practically vibrating.
I took a sip of my latte. “He walked me to my hotel room door, gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek, and made sure he heard the lock engage on my door before he left. There must be pictures of it with a time stamp to prove it, right?”
She melted into a puddle of goo. “Oh, my God, Maggie.”
“It was sweet, I know.”
She shook her head vehemently. “Don’t you know what this means?”
I sat for a second, took another sip, and came up empty. “Sorry, I’ve got nothing.”
Suzie scoffed. “Seriously? He took you to a fancy restaurant, wined and dined you, did something special with you that you’ll remember for the rest of your life, and then didn’t ask you to put out.
Even though you two’ve been going at it like rabbits all this time.
You have to know what this means, right? ”
Well, that wasn’t quite accurate. He may not have asked me to put out, but I’d left out a few things that had happened.
“It was just a date, Suzie,” I said, staring at my cup.
“No, he’s totally in love with you!” she cried.
My eyes darted to her. “What?”
She rolled her eyes. “Now that the whole town knows you’ve been knocking boots, he slammed on the brakes to preserve your reputation, took you out on a fancy date, and made you feel affection instead of raptures. Only a man who cared about a woman would do all that.”
I nibbled on my lower lip, knowing I fibbed a little and wondering if it still meant that. “You think?”
Her excitement deescalated. “Wait, you don’t?”
“It seemed like he was less than interested in me. The only conversation we had was about how we couldn’t make this work because I lived so far away, so he slammed on the brakes, fed me a goodbye dinner, and walked away for good,” I admitted.
When he’d left me last night, I’d cried in the shower for a half an hour. It felt like the end. Now that everyone knew, the pressure was too high, things between us would never work, so we had our last hurrah and called it the end.
Suzie gasped. “Did he say that?”
I shook my head. “Of course not. He never says anything. When we did talk about things, he focused on the fact that I was going back to Chicago. Of course, I have to go back. I live there. All my things are there. So, he’s already set on the fact that this would never work between us.
No compromises to be made. No possible way for the city mouse and country mouse to ever find a way to be together.
So, it felt like goodbye. Or maybe I have to see it that way to be able to drive away when it’s time. ”
Suzie clasped her hands to her chest, tears welling in her eyes. “Oh, Maggie!”
Alarmed, I touched her arm. “What’s wrong?”
She sniffled and reached out, taking my hand in both of hers. “You love him, too! None of this would be so heart-breaking for you if you didn’t. You two were meant to be. You just have to find a way.”
“You’ve been watching too many romance movies,” I said, shaking my head. “Paul is tied to his dad’s land. He isn’t going anywhere. And my life isn’t here anymore.”
She tilted her head. “Hmm.”
“Seriously,” I said, snickering. “What’s with all the drama from you today?”
She let my hands go and swiped at her eyes. “Sometimes a person is just too close to the situation to see it for how it is. You remember in high school how Ralph from the drama club and Sonia from the girls’ basketball team used to pine for each other?”
I giggled. “Yeah, those two would practically run into doors rather than miss the sight of the other. What ever happened with them?”
She smirked. “Sonia went into the Marines, married Ralph, and now he raises their kids while they move around the country for her work. They came back here for the wedding. Had it at the high school gym to commemorate where they met the first time and fell in love.”
“You’re kidding!”
She smiled. “Strange how things work out sometimes, isn’t it?”
So strange. Ralph gave up his dreams to be with the love of his life.
But so far, neither Paul nor I were willing to do the same.
Did he expect me to give up my life in Chicago?
Was I supposed to become a farmer’s wife?
I didn’t even know what that meant or what the expectations would be, but I couldn’t give up art to cook and clean a house all day.
“Thanks for the talk, but I need to go see Mom. Father only allows me to see her at certain times, and I don’t want to miss a minute.”
Suzie stood and gave me a hug. “Think about what I said. Sometimes it’s not always as linear as Ralph and Sonia, but things happen for a reason.”
I tried to smile past the loathing I had for that phrase as I left. There was no possible reason that cancer was stealing Mom’s life from her, taking her from me.
The town was active this time of morning. Several people I knew tipped their hats to me or called me by name in their good mornings. And they said to tell Mom that she was in their prayers.
It was sweet the way the town was pulling for her. I made sure to tell her all about it when I sat with her. The sun had been up for a while and the humidity was brutal, but I had hope that today would be a better day. Things seemed to be going that way until I’d been with Mom for a while.
“I went out with Paul like you suggested,” I said with a smile, knowing that would make her happy.
“You went on a date and didn’t even tell me first?” she asked incredulously. “How could you go without permission? You know we don’t allow that.”
My eyes widened. “When he was here, you wanted me to go out with him, remember? Besides, it came up after I saw you. You were resting, and this was the first chance I’ve had to tell you about it.”
Her eyes flared. “That can’t be. Jo Ellen told your father this morning all about how Paul picked you up and brought you home late. I’m not losing time. You’ve been dating Paul, haven’t you? Behind my back. You’re not old enough for that. You’re only sixteen!”
I thought it might help to read, so I picked up the book. “Mom, nothing happened. We just went to dinner. Then he brought me home and the only kiss was to my cheek. Promise.” I decided to just avoid what happened before and after dinner.
With a mighty whack, she batted the book from my hand. “Don’t you dare touch that. You’re far too young to be reading stories like that.”
Tears pricked my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Her mind was deteriorating. This couldn’t be good.
“Okay, I don’t have to read, Mom,” I said, my voice wobbling. “Could I just sit with you for a while? We could sit here and watch how the sun makes everything look brand new in the morning.”
Deflating a little at the thought, Mom settled in with her hand at her side.
Gently, I picked it up so I could hold it.
The moment we touched, she seemed to relax.
Then we just listened to the birds singing and cicadas chirping.
It seemed too early in the day for so much noise, but nature had a way of deciding when the music would start.
The rest of us just had to be on board and enjoy it.
Within an hour, Mom was breathing evenly. I snuck a peek at her face and saw she was resting comfortably. Placing a soft kiss on her hand, I went to go find Father. It seemed like I should warn him about her increased confusion.
Father was in his study, the place he sat most of his life. All the books surrounding him brought inspiration, he’d always said. Reclining in his desk chair, he sat with his fingers steepled when I knocked gently on his door.
I paused for his attention. “Do you have a minute?”
He grunted, which I took as a yes.
I pointed toward the porch. “She seemed to think I was sixteen this morning. That usually happens only at night. Is her confusion all day now?”
Father’s brow furrowed showing deep lines on his forehead. “Yes, this morning has been hard on her. She isn’t staying on any particular timeline.”
Raising my chin, I gave him a nod of acknowledgment. “Is there anything I can do?”
“Well, the whole town’s buzzing about your date with Paul Stratton last night. I went to get a pastry I thought your mother might eat and got an earful. Your little romantic entanglement with him isn’t helping,” he snapped.
His directness startled me. “Paul and I are good friends, Father. We just went to dinner and had a nice evening. People may have seen us together, but we’re just friends helping each other through a difficult time.”
He snorted. “Paul’s going through ‘a difficult time,’ as you say? Seems to me his life got exponentially easier.”
I felt my stomach sink. “What are you talking about?”
He grumbled. “Oh, nothing. It’s not my place to gossip. Now, you’re coming back in the morning?”
I nodded. “Unless it would be helpful for me to spend more time here in the afternoons.”
With a huff, he tore into me. “If your mother thinks you’re sixteen, then she wouldn’t see you much more than an hour in the morning anyway.
You were always with friends after school, barely around unless it was a weekend, and even then, you were anywhere but here.
So, just go! Leave us in peace. Leave us with good memories of old instead of hearing about how you’re living in sin. ”
The sting of his words bit at me. Looking down, I realized I’d forgotten to put on the skirt over my capris.
“I’ll wear a skirt tomorrow if that would be easier for you, but I’m not leaving town.
I’m staying to spend time with Mom. She seems to be deteriorating, and I won’t abandon her.
I’ll be back in the morning. Good day, Father. ”
I held it together until I was in my car and driving away.
Then all the harsh words, the confusion, and judgments piled on me until I couldn’t breathe.
I wasn’t sure how much more I could take.
Through my tears, I pulled into a parking place, jammed the key card into my door, and buried myself under the covers, wishing there was something I could do and knowing there was nothing.