53. Declarations
Chapter fifty-three
Declarations
Paul
Since Maggie was going to be bullheaded about this, it wasn’t time for celebrating just yet.
I knew she loved me, too. Everything she’d said and done since we were sixteen told me she had feelings for me.
Her actions spoke volumes to me, but she didn’t feel safe enough to voice them.
It was all my damn fault. Knowing I had to make this right, I scooped her up and carried her into the bedroom.
When I reached the end of her bed, I’d planned to set her down carefully, but I kicked something at the base of the bed, making me fall forward. Her breath caught as I pinned her under me.
“Always said you like when I put my weight on you. Testing out a theory,” I said with a smirk, trying to cover my mistake. “Don’t s’pose this jogs anything you want to say.”
Her eyes were glassy and full of desire. “Kiss me.”
Not wanting to disappoint her, I leaned in for a chaste kiss, not expecting her to pull me in frantically, deepening the kiss. The way she desired me so openly had me losing my mind.
“You always remember everything I say, don’t you?” she murmured, grasping my face to guide me to her neck.
Feeling her under me, I soaked her in, realizing how much I’d missed everything about her. I felt the wave of emotion coursing through me, wanting to be with her, but then, I remembered that we had more to discuss.
When I tore my lips from hers, I leaned back enough to focus on her.
“I missed you so damn much, and I want you so damn bad, but we’re not ready for that yet.
See, I’ve been learning how to say things that are important.
It’s been a long time coming, but I’m finally ready to make some declarations. ”
Her eyes showed enough vulnerability that I swallowed hard, realizing how much I’d hurt her by not saying them sooner.
“First, I learned about love languages. I’m an acts of service kind of guy, but you need the words, so here they are.
” I studied her eyes, full of hope and desperation, but showing a good amount of fear.
“The first thing we’re clearing up is that I never saw you as a convenience or that other awful word you used.
I can’t even say it. Mags, you’ve always been the woman of my dreams, and my intentions were and have always been honorable.
I crave your body, your mind, and your soul. Understood?”
She bit her lower lip and gave me a nod.
“Use your words, too,” I insisted, knowing how much those meant to her.
Hurt shone in her eyes. “I felt used when you left without a word after we had sex. It felt like you only came to get one thing and left when you were done with me,” she said quickly, then glanced up into my eyes. “Why did you leave?”
Thinking back to the lessons I’d learned over the last several months, I gave her the best explanation I had.
“It seems strange to you, I know, but affection don’t come easy. We didn’t hug at our house until Rob started it a few years back. We didn’t say words about how we felt neither. Being with you was incredible, and I loved every minute of it. But when you fell asleep, to me it was over.”
“Over?” she asked with concern.
I sighed. “I know better now. It feels good staying, and there’s nothing better than being close to you.
The other part was me trying to take care of you.
Since you were exhausted, it was late, and I didn’t know how to gracefully get out of your hotel room without everyone seeing, I left you to sleep.
But I want you to know that the hardest thing I had to do this summer was to walk away when our time had run out.
I wanted to spend all my time with you.”
A grin tugged at her lips. “Really?”
I nodded. “Another declaration is that since I know words mean a lot to you, I’ve been learning how to talk.
I’ve journaled and took time to figure out how to say how I feel.
Be patient with me as I figure it out, but I truly want to be the man you need me to be.
I’ll learn and do anything to make you happy. ”
“And I want to be the best woman I can be for you, too,” she said, nibbling on her lower lip. “Talking to each other is a big part of that.”
Her response made my heart soar. She seemed to be thinking about a future for us after all. It was going to take her some time to trust me, but I’d make sure she knew she could this time.
Maggie wriggled under me, trying to guide it closer to the apex of her thighs.
My cock thickened, wanting more of her. Not wanting to disappoint her, I positioned myself so my tip pressed against the lower lips of her sex, making both of us moan.
After a few more kisses, I thrust enough to be just inside of her.
“I like when we’re connected like this,” she said, humming her contentment before pulling me in for a languid kiss.
I locked that away for future reference.
When I pulled back, seeing her look peaceful under me hit me in the heart. Damn, she was gorgeous.
“Over all these years, do you know what always astounds me?” I asked.
She reached up to cup my jaw with a sweet smile. “What?”
“You chose me every damn time. Instead of parties or bonfires or anything else. You always chose me. I know it didn’t feel like it at the time, but I swear I was always thinking of you, too.
I really thought I was doing right by you, but I see where I went wrong.
No more making decisions for you. From now on, we talk about everything and decide together. ”
Pulling my face down to hers, Maggie pressed a kiss to my lips that she instantly deepened. Her hands glided down my back as her knees rose on either side of me.
My voice was low and dark. “Something you want, Mags?”
“I want more, Paul,” she sighed.
“Can’t.”
Her hands flew off of me like I’d burned her while her eyes flashed. “Why not?”
Gathering up her hands, I trapped her arms above her head, needing to make sure I had her full attention. “We’re going to stay right here until we get a few other things settled.”
“What’re you talking about?” she snapped.
“I have more declarations to make. First, I want us to be a legitimate relationship starting now. I’m dating you, we’re exclusive, I’m your only boyfriend, since the cat doesn’t count, and we’re together now. You agree?”
My cock thickened inside of her at the thought of claiming her, which made her whimper.
“Words, Mags,” I insisted as nerves made my chest tight. This was a make-or-break moment. She had to agree to this or we were dead in the water. “Will you be my girlfriend?”
Her lips parted, a genuine smile tugging at them as her eyes sparkled. “I’ve waited so long to hear that. Yes, Paul. I will.”
My heart soared at her answer. Pressing a kiss to her lips, I couldn’t contain my excitement. I thrusted a few times, getting further into her liquid heat. Even though I wanted nothing more than to keep going, I had to stop. There was more.
“The next thing is that when we’re together like this, to me, it means that I’m showing you how much I love you. What does it mean to you, Mags?”
She narrowed her eyes. “You’re a good lay?”
I lifted an eyebrow, giving her a menacing look. “Wrong answer.” I rubbed her nipple in just the way I knew it would drive her crazy.
Her hips shot up, seeking to get more of my cock. I gave her a few shallow thrusts to tempt her into talking.
“Okay, okay …” she whimpered. “Damn, that feels good.”
Taking her face in one of my hands, I stopped her from looking away. “I love you, but you still haven’t said it back. I know I hurt you and was a fool for too long, but I need you to be honest. How do you feel about me?”
In the silence, with a strangled voice, she laughed. “You’re kidding me, right? You’re telling me you don’t know? I was so obvious, Paul that it was pathetic. You really don’t know?”
Pushing some hair off her face, I captured her eyes. “I need to hear the words.”
Maggie glanced away, wetting her lips, but when she returned, there wasn’t fire in her eyes anymore. They were blurred with tears. “I’ve loved you for so long that I don’t remember a time when I didn’t.”
“Mags?” I whispered, my heart breaking for her. She really didn’t realize that I felt the same way about her?
“The way you held me, worshipped me, made things special for me, and always had me in mind, I thought you might care for me. But then, you kept calling me your friend until I thought I was losing my mind.”
“You weren’t. I was trying not to pressure you is all. Mags, I’ve loved you every day I’ve known you, and romantically since at least our junior year of high school,” I admitted.
Her face softened. “You did?”
I nodded, pushing hair from her face. “I hurt us both when you left, but you had to know I did it for you so you could be the artist you should be, and are now. Those photos on your computer were incredible.”
After a minute, she pressed a kiss to my lips. “I understand. I may not like it, but I get what you did and why. And I forgive you for all of it. Let’s move forward. Any other declarations?”
“I love you, Maggie Roth. We both broke each other’s hearts too many times, but let’s spend the rest of our lives healing them and put the pain behind us. Let’s let go of the hurt and be together in every … way … possible.”
Thrusting slowly, I sunk into her molten heat, claiming her.
“Paul,” she said, her voice strangled. “Oh, wow, I missed you.”
Our bodies came together rhythmically while our tongues tangled to celebrate our reunion. After holding myself back, I made sure she came first before we both shattered.
She went to clean up, then returned, settling into my side. I held her close, feeling her warm body against mine, and finally knew peace.
As her breathing slowed, I pressed a kiss to her temple. “Get some sleep if you want. I’ll be right here when you wake up. I promise I’m not going anywhere.”
Throughout the afternoon, I held her while she slept. Sometimes, she woke up with a start, reaching for me and kissing me, and then she passed out again. It seemed like she hadn’t slept well in a while, so I didn’t interrupt her. Holding her again was everything I needed.
As the sun was fading in the living room, Maggie awoke with a start.
I rubbed her arm to comfort her. “Hey, you’re okay. I’m right here.”
She rubbed one eye before settling back into my arms. When she shivered, I pulled the covers up over her shoulder and held her closer.
Her eyes flicked up to mine. “So, you never said how long you’re staying in Chicago.”
A secret grin tugged at my lips. “As long as you’re in Chicago.”
With narrowed eyes, she leaned back. “I’m a little fuzzy, but are you saying what I think you’re saying? You want to go from ignoring me to living with me?”
“Dad cut me loose. I’m no longer a farmer. So, I started my own business that I can run from anywhere I choose so I can be with you full-time.”
Maggie sat up, letting the sheet fall. “What business?”
I loved that she felt comfortable enough with me that she didn’t try to cover herself.
“I started a farm blog, which led to creating guides on fixing things on the farm that I sell online. Things were going so well that I have affiliates paying me, too. All I need is an internet connection, what’s up in my head, and some help I pay Rob to provide.
I can hook up to your internet here, right? ”
She stared at me like I had two heads. “You get why this is an adjustment for me, right?”
“I do,” I said, pressing a kiss to her lips.
“Probably for me, too.” I sat up beside her, rubbing little circles on her bare shoulder.
“It’s going to take some time to get used to living with me, but I’m helpful.
I clean pretty well, pour a mean bowl of cereal, and spread peanut butter like a champ.
” I pressed a kiss to her lips. “Now that I’ve had a taste of you, I’m completely addicted to you, Mags.
I won’t be any trouble, but I need to be by your side now. ”
Drifting my hand down her arm, I felt goosebumps rise on her flesh.
She grasped my arm, eyeing me uncertainly. “You won’t change your mind, right?”
Knowing she needed words, not actions, I pushed aside my desire for her to reinforce that what she needed was more important than what I wanted.
“I swear to you that you’re it for me. You always have been. No one’s been buried in my heart the way you are. And no one ever could be because it all belongs to you.”
As we got carried away, I slowed things down and gave Maggie a sensual and decadent experience.
There was a time for coming together with fireworks and explosions, but that time wasn’t now.
She needed more than that. She needed connection in word and deed.
So, I satisfied her, and the best thing happened – she smiled, cuddled in, and welcomed me back into her life.
When our stomachs growled, Maggie ordered food on an app. I found out it would be a thirty-minute wait, so I suggested a shower together. By the time we were done, the food was already on the doorstep.
In just my boxers, I grabbed the bag and brought it to the kitchen.
“I’m not much of a cook, but I do know how to order,” she said with a grin.
“Well, you’re great at it, like you are everything else,” I said, giving her a deep kiss. “This smells amazing.”
While I unpacked our dinner, she pulled plates from a cabinet. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her, though. The long T-shirt she wore hiked up when she reached for glasses. Multi-tasking, I appreciated her fine ass while seeing where everything was so I could find it later.
That night, we ate big, juicy burgers, fries, and a tub of coleslaw that put the diner back home to shame.
Through a bite of burger, I couldn’t hold back. “These are fantastic. Where’s this from?”
Her eyes sparkled with delight as she spoke, “The Rooster Tavern.”
I almost choked. “You’re kidding. Wyatt’s place?”