Chapter 3 #4
Kerrington scoffed. “Well, when I came to your place for dinner that one time and realized you and Juliet lived together – it was a big clue. Prior to that,” she shrugged, “I thought you were very close and maybe had some homoerotic tendencies as straight gal-pals sometimes do. None of my business.” Very lightly, she nudged her knee against Darcy’s, that winning smile flashing over her face.
“Plus, there’s the fact that Juliet always looked like she wanted to claw my eyes out whenever she saw me. ”
A laugh worked out of Darcy’s throat. “Ah, yeah. I can see how that could be a dead giveaway.”
“Maybe now that she officially knows that I know you two are together, we can put it behind us.”
A scoffing, disbelieving laugh escaped her before she tried to muffle it with her hand. “Sorry. But – yeah. Maybe.”
Highly unlikely.
For some reason, it made her stomach tie into knots all over again. Would that go away? What if Juliet really was regretting coming out? Their last conversation hadn’t been the most inspiring.
And now there were a lot of questions.
Darcy would have never imagined herself as someone who enjoyed any measure of possessiveness in a partner. She’d never had a real partner prior to Juliet. So, yeah, it would have been insane if any of the women she’d been casual with had acted the way Juliet did.
With Juliet… Darcy did feel, in many ways, like her heart beat for Juliet. She always got a little thrill in knowing Juliet felt the same way.
This couldn’t go back in the box now that it was out, so if Juliet did regret it – and if she, in any way, resented their relationship because of it – Darcy didn’t know… well, she just didn’t know .
All she knew was that she didn’t regret anything. And her desire to be with Juliet was stronger than ever, especially seeing Juliet on the brink of something she’d never faced before, with all of the rejections coming their way from labels.
But she couldn’t fight Juliet’s battles for her, and she couldn’t live in their little bubble/sex den forever, obviously.
Kerrington nudged her again, and there was a somber edge to her that was relatively new to Darcy. “I’ve seen that things have been… intense. Saw the video with that piece of shit guy.”
Luckily, after she’d come down from the adrenaline of that dust-up, she’d been able to put it – mostly – to bed. More than anything, she was grateful that Juliet hadn’t been there, or Darcy was pretty sure her reaction would have been worse.
“Yeah.” Her voice was a little hoarse before she cleared her throat. “I guess I just thought – not that everything would be easy , but I can tell you that I didn’t think someone would share a video where they lit our albums on fire in a Target parking lot.”
That had been one of the most intense reactions, for certain. A loooot of homophobic ranting.
Kerrington nodded, knowingly, even as she grimaced. “That’ll happen. Especially with your particular demographic.”
She wanted to unload about her concerns about Juliet, but she also knew Juliet wouldn’t want 1. Kerrington to know all of her business, and 2. Wouldn’t want it shared in an LAX suite.
“How are you holding up?”
She refocused on Kerrington’s face after hearing the question, her eyebrows furrowing.
“Okay. I think.”
And she did think that. None of this made her feel good, but…
she wasn’t going to change who she was. She couldn’t .
And she didn’t want to live in the closet forever.
Even after the incident, she didn’t wish things were different.
The only thing she wished was different was how everything was affecting Juliet.
Once upon a time, being closeted hadn’t really mattered much to her. When the thing she’d cared about more than anything in the world had been making it, getting her big break. When having a romantic relationship hadn’t been something she’d cared about.
Now, it was the most important thing to her. Well, right up there with music. Neck and neck, really.
But… Juliet and music had become intertwined. In her heart and in her mind, they’d fused together.
She thought about the events she’d gone to with Juliet over the last year and a half.
How they’d always made sure to keep a few inches of space between them on the red carpet.
How, when Darcy had won an award for Jukebox Calamity at the Country and Folk awards, she’d wanted to turn and kiss Juliet.
She thought about the shows she’d performed at with Juliet during the Half-Truths tour, and how they’d sung together, and she’d get lost in that sensation…
only to always have to pull herself out of it.
She couldn’t get lost in the music, staring adoringly at Juliet, while hundreds of thousands of people watched. And that was so fucking hard .
Kerrington’s gaze was gentle and understanding, as she dropped her hand to Darcy’s knee and rubbed comfortingly. “Let me buy you a celebratory drink.”
“I’m not going to say no.”
After all, Darcy didn’t even know if she’d be offered another recording contract; who was she to turn that drink down?