Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Juliet had become very adept over the years at ignoring what was being shouted at her on the red carpet.
During her teenage years, she’d constructed a thick shell. One that wouldn’t take things so personally, one that let comments bounce off of her. That shell had been the first step to building her Juliet Jacobs image.
She supposed the thing that was throwing her the most since coming out was… she’d thought she’d known what was image and what was her . For the most part, she did.
And still, she’d had to use every ounce of that hard-fought inner fortitude to push through this lunch.
To affix a smile on her face – for charity – and act as though she didn’t hear the conversation flowing about her. About the fact that she was here with, gasp, Robbie.
It didn’t help one fucking bit that Thomas, her now-former manager, was sitting at a table across the room. No doubt fueling the gossip.
Juliet had been the one to fire him, but she’d already heard a whispered tale about his version of events. One that included, of course, him not being homophobic in the least, and that Juliet had gone nuclear at her stepfather, totally emotionally out of control.
Which meant, of course, that she was determined to be as in-control as possible today.
“Is it just me or has everyone stared at us at some point in the last hour?” Juliet asked Robbie, her lips barely moving through a gritted smile.
Robbie didn’t bother to pretend to be subtle as he looked around. “Ah… yeah, they have. Probably wishing they had such good, healthy relationships with their exes like we do.”
Juliet scoffed as she drank the rest of her mimosa in one big gulp. “Yes, I’m sure that’s it.”
“Look, the food part is over.” He gestured at the table, which had been cleared, and people were up and mingling. “We both donated money. We rubbed elbows with donors. Between the two of us, I think we got that children’s hospital a couple hundred thousand. We can head out.”
But Juliet shook her head, rolling her shoulders back. “No, not yet. I’m not going to let anyone think that their ridiculous chatter behind my back is bothering me.”
The thing was, it wasn’t necessarily the thing that bothered her. Juliet had been at the center of many speculations over the years; it was a hazard of the business.
The fact that it was about her sexuality, and about her relationship with Darcy – the thing she’d kept closest to her chest for so long, and the most precious thing in the world to her – was what got under her skin.
She’d thought about canceling her appearance here, especially because it was with Robbie at her side. But that was only going to add fuel to this raging fire.
However, all that would do was make it obvious Juliet cared.
And while she did care, she refused to look like she was running scared.
The last month had blown up far beyond her control, but she hadn’t done anything wrong. Even if some top-tier labels weren’t taking her calls, even if thousands of people wanted to paint her as an adulteress, even if people were throwing out her albums – Juliet hadn’t done anything wrong .
So, no. She wouldn’t run away.
The worst thing was that it felt like she was being punished simply for being gay. Like she’d told Darcy, she’d known logically this would likely be the case, so it felt foolish to be so upset. But she was .
And, like she’d told Darcy, she fucking hated that.
“Your choice.” Robbie held his hands up before he asked, “So, when are you heading to Pineford for the wedding?”
Juliet worked her jaw back and forth, then she finally answered, “Tomorrow morning.”
Robbie let out a long, deep sigh. “ Whew . I got a little nervous for a second that you were gonna tell me that you weren’t going to your girlfriend’s sister’s wedding. Which–” He gave her a look . “Would be totally crazy. Right?”
She pursed her lips at him. Unfortunately, Robbie knew her far too well by now.
She’d hesitated in answering because she’d been debating going. Darcy had given her the out; she’d told Juliet that she’d understand if she wasn’t going to be there.
And Juliet… waffled.
On one hand – the biggest hand – she didn’t want to let Darcy down. Hell, she didn’t even want to let Blythe down. Somehow, over the last two years, she’d come to really care about Blythe in her own right.
But, on the other hand, what if Juliet’s presence – and therefore, her presence with Darcy as a couple – overshadowed Blythe on her wedding day? This obviously wasn’t something Darcy had thought about, but Juliet was always the one thinking more about the optics.
Maybe she should have waited to come out until the wedding was all over, so it didn’t spill over to cause tension with Blythe. Another aspect that had been weighing on her.
“I didn’t think it was going to be this hard,” she finally stated, quietly, leaning heavily back in her chair.
And fuck all if she’d thought that label execs wouldn’t be taking her calls. She’d known it wouldn’t all be sunshine and roses, but… she was Juliet Jacobs . Her last two albums had been back-to-back successes, top of the charts. And Darcy?!
“What, did you think coming out was gonna solve all your problems? Come on, Juliet. You’re a hell of a lot smarter than I am, and I knew that wouldn’t be the case.”
“Of course I didn’t,” she managed not to snap, but she did roll her eyes. But come on . “I never thought it would be easy.”
Hence why she’d been in the closet in the fucking first place.
Fine, so she’d also had Harrison and Copper Canyon to contend with, but… she’d known what it would be like. In theory, anyway.
“But I hate feeling like I’ve traded a handful of problems just to be handed back a handful of different ones. I thought it would get easier in some regards, at least.”
That maybe it would be easier for her and Darcy to just live their lives. Their life , their shared life.
Robbie nodded slowly, rubbing over the stubble on his chin. “Okay, sure. I get that. And, I mean, I do see what you’re saying. The hate is, like, intense .”
“Yes, thank you. I’m living it.”
“And so’s Darcy.”
Juliet’s stomach clenched. “Yes.”
Darcy was also living in it. Darcy was the one who’d dealt with the paparazzi drama, and the subsequent meetings with their lawyer.
Which had happened because Juliet had decided it was right for them to come out. It wasn’t just her neck on the line; it was Darcy’s. And the guilt of what was playing out, affecting Darcy, too… it gnawed away at her.
The only thing Juliet had ever wanted since she’d fallen for Darcy had been to make her life easier.
“But,” Robbie started, before he trailed off and gave a little sigh. “It must kind of feel like a relief, right?”
The way he looked at her, with a hopeful searching glint in his eyes, hit home in a way Juliet hadn’t expected. He was looking at her like he wanted to live vicariously through her.
And maybe, in a lot of ways, he did.
That look pinged something deep inside of her that she hadn’t anticipated, making her breath catch in her throat, the emotion hammering through her.
Robbie continued, “You don’t have that feeling anymore, do you?
That feeling like something is sitting right here–” He put his hand over his chest, pushing down.
“Making it so that you can’t take a real deep breath.
Especially when we’re in public. Wondering if anyone in here is thinking something they shouldn’t.
If someone in here is seeing something they shouldn’t. ”
Juliet hadn’t really thought about it like that.
But… Robbie wasn’t wrong.
She’d been so focused on the scrutiny, on how she felt like the microscope had been even more focused and intense. Which, it was.
However, whatever everyone looking through the microscope was seeing? It didn’t really matter. Because her biggest secret, the thing she’d spent her entire adult life and career hiding, was public.
And she could breathe. She knew precisely that feeling Robbie was talking about. Maybe she was still being scrutinized, but it did feel different, in a way she hadn’t let herself think about.
She reached up and gently patted her hand against his shoulder. “You’re not wrong.”
She still wasn’t going to duck out of here just yet, but he wasn’t wrong.
Robbie’s lips quirked into a cross between his famous signature grin – dashing and almost a smirk – and his real, authentic smile – something wider and sweeter, one he gave her more often than he flashed his adoring fangirls.
“Thank you. I like to think I still have some Robbie-O wisdom to pass onto you.” His eyes caught on something over her shoulder, and his smile slid into that signature grin as he spoke under his breath, “Shit. Accidentally made eye contact with the representative from Montrose. I told them we’d catch up today if I saw them. ”
“Go, chat,” she encouraged.
“You sure?” He asked, bringing his gaze back to her, checking in. “I can pretend I didn’t see, stay here with you.”
She was torn between appreciating Robbie’s attentiveness and being mildly annoyed that he believed she needed him to sit here with her. Mildly annoyed at both of them – him for possibly thinking it, herself for possibly projecting it.
“Robbie, I’m Juliet fucking Jacobs.” She rolled her shoulders back, taking in the power that sentiment gave her. “While I know how much you care about me, I don’t need you to babysit me. Go and mingle.”
“I’d kiss your cheek…” It was a classic move between them when they’d been ‘a couple,’ an easy way for them to show genuine affection for one another, and the public thought it was so sweet. “But I’m sure it would just make people talk even more.”
Juliet angled her chin up, giving him her cheek, a spark of rebellion shifting through her. People were already talking. She was already dealing with repercussions. She was sure that, if anything, it would just baffle people to see what a good relationship she and Robbie maintained.
He laughed, leaning in to kiss her cheek, before pulling back. “Love the spirit.”
And, as he walked away, Juliet decided that she did, too.