Chapter 3
Casimir
He just couldn’t resist tempting me.
“A sexy suit and picking me up at the door?” Leering at him a little, I couldn’t resist checking him out. “You’re playing with fire.”
His eyes sparkled but he shrugged and kept a straight face. “I had to make it look good. Clearly I picked correctly.”
For a guy who didn’t radiate any sexuality whatsoever, he liked being teased and appreciated. I could understand that, though, so I winked for him and for our neighborly audience. “You did. I’ll have to find a way to reward you for it later.”
And for making sure every busybody in the neighborhood watched him walk over to get me.
I loved it.
“Now you have me curious.” He was careful about how he replied but there was something playful in his dry tone that made me wonder what he kept under that careful exterior.
But I let him keep it in place for the moment and kept further cheekiness to myself.
His smile peeked out before he smoothed it away and gave me his arm. “If you’re ready to go?”
“Such a gentleman.” I loved that too. “Yes.”
Locking the door behind me, I stepped out onto the porch and looped my arm through his. “I’ve been looking forward to this.”
Turning his head toward me, making sure his lips were facing me and not the busybodies, he raised one eyebrow. “Dinner out or driving everyone watching insane?”
I scoffed, getting another smile from him. “Both, obviously. But I think you’re going to be good company and that’s something to look forward to as well.”
I didn’t want him to think he was just the leftover bit to the evening. I might’ve technically been his fake date but that didn’t mean I had to act like it.
“I’d like to think I’m good company.” Something about the way he said it prickled at the back of my mind. “At the very least, the Italian place I’ve picked out has wonderful food and a great atmosphere.”
“Sounds good.” Pressing tighter against his arm, I let my head rest on his shoulder for a moment as we got to his car. “But I still maintain good company and lots of attention from a handsome man is going to be the best part of the evening.”
His lips barely twitched but I could almost feel the pleasure coursing through him. “Handsome, huh?”
“I’m on my best behavior, otherwise I’d have said sexy and gone into more detail about what that suit does to me.” Suit porn was some of the best visuals on the internet. “Later I’ll make you walk in front of me so I can get a view of the back.”
He couldn’t seem to decide if he wanted to laugh or roll his eyes, but as he opened the passenger door for me, he settled on ridiculous. “You don’t have to tease me about that kind of thing.”
Huh?
He couldn’t be serious.
Atlee stumped me for a few long moments as I sat down, but my brain was up to the challenge. “Oh, sweetie, you’re one of the sexiest men I’ve dated in a long time, so real or not, I’m going to enjoy every chance I get to leer, every touch you give me, and every touch I get to give you.”
Subtle was not my middle name, but I was pretty sure he didn’t need it.
Yep.
His eyes went wider and he cocked his head. “I know I’m not ugly, but men…you don’t have to exaggerate.”
What kind of morons had he dated?
Subtle was clearly not a good idea with Atlee, so I wrapped my hand around his tie and stroked my hand down it like I was jerking him off.
“My favorite days last summer were Sundays…do you know why?” Confusion filled his expression as he thought about what I could mean. He even glanced around the neighborhood like he was trying to remember what he’d seen.
He was oblivious.
It was kind of cute.
“No.” Finally turning back to me, he frowned again. “Sundays?”
Yep, oblivious.
“You washed your car every Sunday morning like clockwork, and once it heated up, your shirt came off.” I couldn’t resist smiling when he blinked at me. “My favorite Sundays were when you wore those tight little red shorts. Oh. I lived for those Sundays.”
He’d fucked up my entire schedule for when I usually ran errands, but the show had been worth it. They cupped his ass perfectly and were so short I kept hoping his cock would fall out of them. I got nothing done on red shorts day.
“I.” He stopped mid-thought and blinked a few more times. It was like watching a sexy robot reboot. “I only wear those when I’m behind on laundry.”
“They’re a beautiful view, so let’s not get rid of them anytime soon.” Logic said I should’ve been a lot more careful with my fake boyfriend, but it seemed like too many people had fucked him over for that to be a good way to handle him. “Maybe they’ll be my reward for being an amazing boyfriend.”
His eyes flashed wider for a moment, but after a few seconds, it was clear he had no idea what to say to me.
Adorable.
But he needed directions, so I nodded toward the driver’s seat. “Time for dinner, sexy. I’m in desperate need of attention because I’ve had to behave the last couple of days and I need a reward.”
That got a chuckle from him as he came back to life. “I can do that.”
So he could give me attention and focus on what I needed but he couldn’t figure out what to do when I flirted with him?
“Perfect.” I behaved myself and slid fully into the car so he could shut the door, and I was amazingly well-behaved as we drove to the restaurant.
I kept the conversation light and asked about his week, and thoroughly enjoyed the new round of crazy from his family.
“She really tried to get you to look at cake samples?”
He didn’t like cake.
Everyone remembered that from the block party last year. He was a brownie and pastry junky, though. “Did you even eat the cake at your first wedding to her?”
Atlee glanced over at me as he pulled into a parking spot and put the car in park. “Why did you ask that?”
Ugh.
“Because the whole street knows you don’t like cake.
” A few pushy women had finally gotten it out of him that it was a texture issue.
“You should have mini cheesecakes and brownies iced really fancy. You’d like that better.
Oh, you’d love a full dessert bar with different pasties.
That would be fun and they could be fancy. ”
A smile peeked out as he leaned back in his seat. “For my last three birthdays my ex and my mother both picked out cupcakes for me. Icing piled high. They’ve been alternating between flavors like strawberry and guava.”
Guava?
“You don’t like fruity desserts unless they’re something like chocolate-covered strawberries.
” How hard was that to figure out? “I’d have picked out a selection of treats from that European bakery downtown.
They’re good and small enough you can eat three without thinking about what you’ve done to yourself. ”
The unexpected bark of laughter from him made me smile but it was the way he leaned in and kissed my cheek that had me silently cursing the man.
He just had to be adorable.
“I’d have liked that.” Blushing faintly, he nodded toward the restaurant. “Are you ready?”
Since he needed me to change the subject, I nodded. “Let’s go. I’m starved.”
And very tempted to do something I shouldn’t, so giving us some space was the best idea.
****
“No, I’m serious. They put the house up for sale the very next week and even took what I heard was a ridiculous lowball offer.” Some people made terrible decisions. “The wife said she couldn’t handle being around so many old people and kept screaming about everyone bringing casseroles.”
That house was cursed.
Atlee looked pleased as fuck with himself. “Their real estate agent was so frazzled when she talked to mine, she basically gave away how desperate they were to sell.”
Oh.
Whatever he saw on my face made him chuckle. “They were so strange, I did a search to make sure the house didn’t come up as one where someone was murdered.”
That might’ve explained the insanity of everyone who seemed to have lived there.
“Not that I’ve heard but she just couldn’t handle everyone being nice to her.” I could understand moving for a lot of different reasons…but not that. “I hadn’t even met them officially yet or done anything inappropriate, so I knew it wasn’t me.”
And everyone else had claimed not it too.
“She honestly seemed to have an issue with people wanting to get to know them and being invited to community events. Evidently the BUNCO invitation made her eye twitch and Betty was incredibly offended by what the crazy woman said about the BINGO invitation.” Everyone got those, so I couldn’t figure out why they’d made her crazy.
“That was the real issue?” Leaning back in his seat, Atlee shook his head. “That just doesn’t make any sense.”
“She thought the suburbs would give her a lot of privacy?” That was the dumbest assumption ever but some people just weren’t smart. “I still maintain the Wit Sec family was the weirdest, though.”
They hadn’t been able to keep their lies straight and had been moved out of the area within the month.
Atlee tried not to laugh but it was hard. “I honestly didn’t understand what was going on. He kept saying they’d come from New York but had a Deep South accent and she kept saying they’d just moved from Las Vegas, California.”
“They must be giving their handler an ulcer.” I hoped they stayed safe, but while they’d been nice, they hadn’t been smart. “I love the suburbs.”
And he laughed.
“You are probably the only person I’ve ever heard say that, but I’m starting to see why you enjoy it so much.” Shaking his head, he tried to put his serious expression back in place. “I have to admit it’s a lot sometimes.”
“I think that’s because you’ve been the focus of the drama so long you’ve forgotten all the fun of watching other people’s lives go crazy.
” It wasn’t our fault they’d fought so much and were better than any daytime talk show.
“We’re moving past that and we’re giving everyone something new to talk about. It’ll be much more fun.”
His eyes rolled but he didn’t push back as much as he probably wanted to. “We’ll see.”
I’d won.
“Nope. We’ve got that pink house for sale at the end of the street and on the other end there’s that family that’s still pretending not to speak any English at all.” I had good stuff on them, but he was going to have to work for that. “There’s lots of other chaos we can watch and encourage.”
Atlee tried to look bored but I could see his inner drama queen peeking out. “We shouldn’t be watching other people’s lives fall apart.”
Bullshit.
“Yes, we can. Especially when they do it to themselves by being weird.” Then they were fair game. “When all you put out to the universe is attention-seeking behavior, you have to expect to get crazy back.”
That seemed to be how he’d been put right in front of my path…and I was very grateful for it.
“I have no idea how to respond to that.” His ability to admit when I was confusing was a strong point in his favor. “So how about I change the subject and show you why my phone started exploding just before you went to the restroom.”
Oh.
I hadn’t been sure if it was work or crazy, but he’d looked like he’d needed a minute.
“Tell me.” Leaning forward, I ignored the last of my ravioli and tried to see his screen as he set his phone on the table. “What’s going on?”
He sighed but it wasn’t too dramatic or anything I had to take seriously. “Someone tattled. I’ve already gotten texts from my mother, my ex, and someone that is claiming to be my wedding coordinator.”
Atlee looked down at his phone and frowned like that was the point where things had gotten confusing. “She’s asking…well, I’m assuming she but the name is unisex. She’s asking me not to stress out my fiancé under the circumstances. I’m getting a lecture that I’m not being discreet enough.”
Best date ever.
Oh.
“Hey, no silencing notifications. I need to know when the chaos is exploding so I know when to bug you.” He couldn’t learn to be sneaky this early in our relationship…fake or not.
Based on the grin he flashed me, he wasn’t going to agree to that. “Oh, would you have wanted to know? I’m sorry. I was focused on my date.”
Brat.
He was cute when he was playful.
“I’ll dish out punishments for less, brat. Tell me.” I wasn’t going to miss out on the good stuff. “It’ll be all over the neighborhood by tomorrow, so I need it first.”
Atlee rolled his eyes but that grin still wanted to come back out. “You’re ridiculous. But between lectures on my behavior, she’s asking about my preferences on dinner. My mother has decided we need to do seafood.”
What?
“You’re allergic to shellfish.”
How did I know that and his mother didn’t?
Hell, what about his ex-wife?
Shrugging, Atlee couldn’t seem to decide how to respond for a few seconds. “You know, I’m not sure how you know that and I’m not going to ask, but it’s sweet that you remembered.”
“I’m nosy enough to file everything away, but I don’t forget the details of the hottest man in town.”
I’d just never thought I’d have a chance with him, so I’d put all my focus into not using him as jerk-off fodder.
“You’re very confusing sometimes.”
He blinked and looked a bit like reality wasn’t computing.
“Aww. That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me on a first date.” He was definitely a keeper…even if he didn’t seem to know that.
He blinked a few times then grabbed his water.
Smart man.
Now we just had to see if he knew if all those brains had ever wondered about anything kinky. He was already perfect on two sides of the dating triangle…not straight and not a bum…now we just had to see about the last side…not vanilla.